Top Ten WORST Hit Songs Of 2016

hiphopgod
No, I'm not doing a top 50. My judgement was way off because this year wasn't as terrible as I initially thought while writing that. Trust me though, I can spit enough fire to utterly wipe these poor excuses for songs right off the planet. So, les go.

10.) Work From Home - Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign
There was a lot of competition for this spot on the list. It was between this and Hideaway by Daya but I lean more towards this due to the actual lyrical content. It's about how they want to get their man fired from his job so they can have sex all night long, just lovely. "Oh but baby, I gotta go to work so I can make money and we can afford food and water and our house," "NO, STAY HERE AND HAVE SEX WITH ME!" like that's basically the song in a nutshell. Oh and this production is awful. Like, it sounds like if Strip That Down's sung in a falsetto. Like seriously, does the production on STD not sound like the production on Work From Home? Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this. Oh, and they say work about 94 times, about 16 more than Rihanna in Work.

9.) Lost Boy - Ruth B
huh, wha- Oh, sorry I must've fallen asleep. Credit it to this song because it is boooooring. Why would anyone sign someone to a record deal because of a 6 second clip. No, that's legitimately how Ruth B got famous. WHY? IT'S JUST A 6 YEAR OLD'S PETER PAN FICTION BEING READ OUT LOUD! Of course you might not realize it because you'll be snoring by the time she starts singing. I can just imagine Ruth B walking over to he shrine dedicated to Peter Pan and singing this song to appease her lord. Get on outta here Ruth B.

8.) Pillowtalk - Zayn
Oh, hi Zayn, nice to see you again. Well, if it makes you feel better you sound way better here than you did on I Don't Wanna Live Forever. At least you sound like you actually have balls. But, on the downside, you sound like a whining 10 year old. Hell, I can't understand this man is saying. Apparently, the first line in the chorus is "and we'll piss off the neighbors," I thought it was "and we'll be something baby." Like dude, enunciate. You're whining your heart out on a song that's supposed to be about pillow talk. You know, something that's supposed to be relaxed and laid back. You don't scream at someone after having sex with them, what are you, a pimp? And how are you pissing off the neighbors. I doubt Zayn could get a girl off so much that she moans loud enough to piss off the neighbors. If anything he would be the one moaning loud enough to piss off his neighbors. In fact, who's the one on top and who's the one on bo- you know what let's just move on because I'm just gonna keep going if I don't stop myself.

7.) Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya
Oh jeez, I'm sorry Imagine Dragons. I called your song a Lorde ripoff, but at least you're a talented Lorde ripoff. Daya's just as bad, maybe worse, and she is way less talented than Imagine Dragons. This song has awful production. You wanna know what this song reminds me of? Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky. Freaky Friday sounds like a ripoff of this. So, what you're telling me is Daya ripped off Lorde, and then Lil Dicky ripped off Daya? This is a terrible chain of events. Oh yeah and the lyrics are garbage and preachy blah blah it's all been said before. Whatever, this song sucks.

6.) For Free - DJ Khaled feat. Drake
So wait, what you're telling me is Drake teamed up with DJ Khaled to make a subtle diss to Kendrick Lamar by making a reference to the interlude on his classic third album To Pimp A Butterfly. Drake, you may have made Back to Back, but you would get absolutely destroyed by Kendrick in any type of battle. Hell, it doesn't even sound like a diss. It just sounds like he's referencing him, which is smart because Drake does not want any beef with Kendrick. Oh and I guess the song sucks because Khaled can't produce and 2016 Drake couldn't make good music.

5.) 7 Years - Lukas Graham
7 Years is an appropriate name because Lukas just doesn't shut up. My main problem with the song is the lead singers voice, because oh my lord if it is not the most annoying thing I've ever heard. This song was completely inescapable in 2016 and at first I was like "eh, the vocals aren't that bad," and now I just want it to die. Lukas Graham is a terrible hit and their other hit "Mama Said" is also terrible, but at least it was upbeat in a year that everything was depressing. Lukas Graham, you take the award for most annoying voice of 2016, and thankfully I don't think I'll ever have to worry about hearing your accented chipmunk of a voice.

4.) Me Too - Meghan Trainor
You thought it was going to be in the top 3 didn't you? Well no cigar buddy, I'm not that predictable. No Meghan, I have absolutely no desire to be you and I never will because you're an awful singer who makes awful music. Let's look at Meghan's history real quick. She started out with the number one hit All About That Bass. Basically she made a fat empowerment anthem. It's innocent enough and I'd argue it's her best song. Of course, it's all too fitting that her worst song is an empowerment anthem, but of a different kind. This is just empowering to Meghan Trainor because she thinks we want to be her. It's obnoxious, egotistical, and worst of all, it's just annoying. Meghan, why don't you just quit trying to make music, because you're not good at it.

3.) White Iverson - Post Malone
This is a mixture of Lost Boy with 7 Years with Me Too. It's a snooze fest like Lost Boy, it feels like it doesn't end like 7 Years, and it's the awful egotism of Me Too. It gets the worst aspect of each song, and it's one of the worst songs of the decade. All Post is doing in this song is comparing himself to basketball players saying he's the white version of all of them. It's actually offensive to think that the white Allen Iverson is like if Riley from the Boondocks was white. Ugh, this song just makes me wanna smash my face against the keyboard.

2.) Back To Sleep - Chris Brown
I can't deal with Chris Brown anymore. Wanna know why this song is so high? Well, it's the first song on his album Royalty. So, he made the opening track on the album DEDICATED TO HIS DAUGHTER have a chorus that goes "f*ck you back to sleep." Do I even need to say anything more? I get the songs not about his daughter, but it's still messed up and appalling to think about. Get out Chris.

Dishonorable Mentions (let's just get this over with)
Hideaway - Daya (consider it #11)
Pop Style - Drake
Jumpman - Drake & Future
i hate u, i love u - gnash feat. Olivia O'Brien
Gold - Kiiara
On My Mind - Ellie Goulding
This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna
Don't Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers feat. Daya
Closer - The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey
Unsteady - X Ambassadors
Down In The DM - Yo Gotti feat. Nicki Minaj
Don't Mind - Kent Jones
Really Really - Kevin Gates
Wicked - Future

Uh, guess we gotta get to number one then. So tell me, what could be worse than Chris Brown and Post Malone. Well, how about a song that's not supposed to be cool. How about a song that's meant to be an anthem for something that shouldn't have an anthem?. How about a song that fails in every way shape or form to make the listener side with the artist? Well, 2016 had a song like that, and it's my number one. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you....

Shawn Mendes

1.) Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes
NO. I HATE YOU SHAWN. YOU MAKE AWFUL MUSIC THAT APPEALS TO TEENAGE GIRLS AND MAKES THEM THINK YOU'RE SOME SORT OF HERO, NO. YOU ARE ONE OF THE WORST THINGS ABOUT MUSIC, RIGHT ALONG WITH XXXTENTACION AND KODAK BLACK.

Shawn Mendes made a nice guy anthem and it is just complete and utter awfulness from start to finish. It's all about how Shawn thinks he can treat a girl better than the guy currently dating her. It's an interesting concept but it was performed so badly. Shawn is not only smug and douchey in this song, but the lyrics kill it entirely. The wasted crying line is the worst lyric of 2016. It's so bad because he's essentially saying "stop crying because you're in an abusive relationship and date/have sex me," it comes off as Shawn being this little prick and I absolutely hate it. Shawn Mendes is an absolutely terrible artist and even at his best he's still just a giant douche and we need to stop giving him hits.

DIE 2016, AND SHAWN MENDES, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU MAKE TERRIBLE MUSIC AND YOU NEED TO STOP.

Comments

P