Top Ten Worst Things to Do While Your Wife Is Giving Birth

The Top Ten

1 Go to a Movie

2 Make Out With the Nurse

3 Accidentally Kill the Doctor

4 Have Sex With the Pregnant Lady in the Next Room

This is immoral and SO WRONG! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THAT?!?! Oh, and making out with the nurse and masturbating are also terrible ideas. I mean, unless you want to make your wife angry, of course.

I wanna do that honestly

5 Run Around Like a Fool While Screaming Like a Banshee

6 Take Her Temperature

7 Masturbate

8 Get Drunk

9 Stare at Random Women

10 Commit Suicide

The Contenders

11 Drive to a Fast Food Restaurant

12 Streaking

13 Piss on the wall

14 Smoke

15 Twerk

16 Make an evil laugh

17 Laugh so hard that you fart

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