Worst Things for a Teacher to Say to a Child

Without helping hands, like teachers or parents, children may not find their paths.
Their paths may end up horribly wrong or tragic if the helping hands decide to say something honest, dark-humoured or misleading.

The Top Ten

1 Did you know that only 10% of you will be successful in your adult years?

Actually that is real

Well, it actually does have some truth to it. - Kiteretsunu

I'm definitely not looking forward to being an adult. - funnyuser

Let's just hope I'm one of those 10%.

2 Let's learn the alphabet! A is for accident, like most of you are!

Ouch. Burn. They could die from that one. - PositronWildhawk

I really love this list. And this one too. - Kiteretsunu

Oh my goodness! This would be terrible! - funnyuser

ROASTED - Nateawesomeness

3 Let's learn some crap that will never help you at all on a day-to-day basis!

Laugh out loud. I wish we already learned everything that we needed to know when we were babies. But that would be a smart baby! - funnyuser

At least it's honest - CommentandList

Which is everyday for my school - Nateawesomeness

4 Reach for the stars! You can do it! On second thought...

And as for the students second thought,he wants you to die - Nateawesomeness

5 This is an improv game I call "When I Grow Up!" Use the prop bottles, undershirt and potbelly provided.
6 Fill out these worksheets about you! Um, please rewrite "Unrealistic fantasies" over "What I want to be when I grow up."
7 Fun with maths! One deadbeat + another deadbeat = your parents!

And then the deadbeats began to multiply. - PositronWildhawk

8 Here's a true or false statement: "My parents love me." The answer is, of course, false.
9 Time for Sex Ed, everyone please take off your clothes

Depends on who my classmates are. - HeavyDonkeyKong

This is the bomb! I'd leave the class immediatley if I was told this. So yeah, teacher, thanks for that. I'm not having sex with any of the weirdos in my class. (Or anyone else, for that matter. ) - RockFashionista

10 If your mother loved you, you wouldn't be here.

The Contenders

11 I'll just let you decide now what you want to be. No, you're too stupid and cowardly for that.
12 It's P.E! We're going to be repeatedly flinging ourselves at a wall until we aren't recognizable.
13 Kids, never say rude words or be violent or I'll be real mad AND SLIT YOUR F**KING THROAT!
14 Today we will learn why all of you will become homeless
15 I think I saw you on that porn site yesterday
16 See you in summer school, homie.
17 Our job is to spend the next twelve years wasting your life.


BAdd New Item