Top Ten Worst Things to Hear After You Die

You're going to the afterlife. It could be heaven, it could be your digitised conscience, but it could really have unsettling terms and conditions. And you certainly don't want to hear these phrases as you move on after your death.
The Top Ten
1 This is Hell. You don't think that guy in the robe was crazy now, right?

Eternal death is worse than being in an eternal dark void forever. But I believe in God and that Jesus saved us, so we can all get to Heaven. May The Lord be with you.

2 There is no afterlife. Sorry we wasted your time.

Lol true I have looked up what happens after you die and a bunch of people tell their story of what it was like, NONE of them said they met God. it was just like a dreamless sleep or a black nothingness

But I'd die to go to heaven! Oops I'm dead already 0_0

This is more than likely what happens.

That would be a huge disappointment.

3 We can't upload your conscience to the network for the next six months due to server overload.

Slow computers. Don't you just hate them?

4 We failed to forward your afterlife insurance to the since abandoned orphanage.

Blast it! That's my dough you're talking' 'bout!

And, naturally, I'm thinking: "WHAT?!?! "

5 Why did you leave your wallet behind? You'll need that!

Thinking that you'd need your wallet in heaven kind of spoils the point, doesn't it?

Well, you can't buy a house in heaven!

6 We can't confirm you're dead until we collapse each wave function.
7 We're trying to recover your brain configuration, but will have to reassemble them after that blast first.

Devil says that to you. Your think about all of the things you did in life then he burns you!

8 Are you watching your funeral? It's rather comical.

Haha! Look at that guy! 'He was such a noble person... ' Are they actually talking' 'bout me?!

Question for Pos-hawk: why is your #10 the one I always end up voting for? This is hilarious!

Yeah, this is one thing I would not like to hear after I die.

Yeah thanks... How 'bout yours?

9 Do you like AC/DC?

The music in hell would actually be Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black and Nicki Minaj

They made the song "Highway to Hell". I get it.

Its because ac dc was an demonic group

That would suck so hard.

10 Oops. Hit delete. Please stand by.
The Contenders
11 Your life was just a dream

That's probably the worst.

12 Game over

You suck at life

13 *Nothing*

I think it would just be terrible to hear absolutely nothing.

Well, this website now knows my deepest fear.

14 Welcome to Hell, Please Don't Enjoy Your Stay.
15 To proceed to heaven, please pay two dollars

IT'S THAT E- Wait, where's my wallet!

16 I hope you have a nice afterlife
17 You're here as well?
18 What The Heck Are You Doing Here?!
19 Obama?! Why, it's a pleasure, didn't know your secret headquarters was here of all places
20 Good, now that you died go make me a sandwich
21 *bark bark* my name is Cerberus, please contact my master if you have a fever
22 You will now be reincarnated into a criminal
23 You're a stupid hoe
24 You Need To Fill This Form For Heaven. *Looking At The Paper* Big Guy, What We Do? You're Unexpected.
25 This idiot never had a purpose. He should've died right before he was born
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