Worst Things to Say to a Proud Englishman

If you don't want to be scowled at from a great height, DON'T say any of these things. What! I'm trying to help you!

The Top Ten

1 Your accent...what part of Australia are you from?

There was actually a guy I met face to face who assumed I was American because I have an ever so slightly deep and strong voice. I felt slightly miffed. - PositronWildhawk

I'm Sorry to you Wonderful Brits but I have actually messed this one up!

Please don't hurt me! - Curti2594

Many English people get this. It's not clever or funny... - Britgirl

2 I don't like your cuisine
3 You make a better lover than a you do a poet

No, I haven't got that around the wrong way... - Britgirl

4 America saved your asses in both World Wars

Notice you didn't get into the war straight away. LAZY

WWI RMS Lusitania was torpedoed, WWII Pearl Harbour.

This is going to raise the hackles of any proud Englishman - even the most placid of people. - Britgirl

Truth REALLY hurts, wot?

5 Your national anthem sucks

Same thing if you said this To We Canadians! - Curti2594

DO NOT EVER SAY THIS! We don't look good when we cry! - Britgirl

6 I prefer the look of the American flag
7 Christopher Columbus didn't discover America

Do the English really try to take credit for the work of an Italian sailing for the Spanish Crown?

Just humour us on this, please? We DID discover America, didn't we... ? - Britgirl

Um Britgirl Christopher Columbus got credit from the vikings doing it - Jake09

8 Great Britain no longer has an empire

The worst thing you can do to even the most unpatriotic Englishmen is diss the empire.

Yeah. Too bad you don't have tens of millions of Chinese hooked on opium, anymore. Too bad you no longer can machine-gun a few thousand Indians when they get uppity.

9 GREAT Britain? Pah!

Hello anonymous slater of GREAT Britain. I rather fancy you are using my list just to say cruel things about the country I adore. Carry on, old chap with every comment you add you are boosting the voting figures on my lists! And for that, I am truly thankful. Have a beautiful day! - Britgirl

There is a reason why the word GREAT exists in front of Britain. Get used to it. It's been difficult but we managed it. - Britgirl

10 Do you speak American?

It's the English language. Americans (hand on heart, God bless America and all that) only have an accent. - Britgirl

Darn too-tin they do. It's wah separates t'mericans from awl y'all animals! - PositronWildhawk

"Your" English language is a potpourri of ancient Celt, Norse, Germanic, Latin and Greek.
Yet, you folks seem to really believe it's "uniquely British."

The Contenders

11 It's Great that I'm not British

Thank God I'm not American

12 Go Scotland!

Nothing wrong with Scotland, as long as you don't believe in the Loch Ness Monster.
It was either from the prehistoric or a myth.

Ah, the Highlands; where the REAL men live.

The English may as well hotfoot it to Jockland as they're all over here... - Britgirl

13 You ruled india. Nice that you are now 20 times smaller than it.

That is years before anyone on the internet. IDIOT.

14 Don't you guys all sit around and have "tea time"?

I drink coffee. I like Costa Coffee.

15 Do you like the rain over there?

Do you realise all this stupid rain is why we don't have Spring breaks and shorter summer school and college holidays (vacation)
We have bank holidays Spring break is like Easter.
Summer is Late July- Early September.

16 Do you want to go to the speech class at my daughters preschool?
17 Want some crumpets?

I hate stereotypes 😤

18 Would you like some tea?

I meant I live in Britain not I like Britain. I like America fun theme parks and beaches for holidays and you have more school breaks. We just have end of July to beginning of September. But an exam on Saturday must be nightmares.

I like in Britain, but I like coffee more than tea (I only really drink peppermint tea) coffee keeps me awake. But I have epilepsy and my specialist tells me not to drink too much so I just have one cup.

19 What language do you speak in England?
20 Have you met the Queen?
21 I can't understand you, speak American.
22 Where is your accent from?
23 France is better

Oh good American's you did screw up 2005 Pollux - Le manège enchanté (The Magic Roundabout film) A classic kids show. 1965-1977.
Renaming it Doogal who is not even a character in the film its Pollux/Dougal
Then changing most of the cast in the translated, then adding loads of pop culture, made Moose talk and fart.

BAdd New Item