Worst Things to Say to a Proud Englishman

If you don't want to be scowled at from a great height, DON'T say any of these things. What! I'm trying to help you!
The Top Ten
Your accent...what part of Australia are you from?

There was actually a guy I met face to face who assumed I was American because I have an ever so slightly deep and strong voice. I felt slightly miffed.

I'm Sorry to you Wonderful Brits but I have actually messed this one up!

Please don't hurt me!

Many English people get this. It's not clever or funny...

I don't like your cuisine

My Dad said that he does not care a lot for specifically English foods and he is partly English.

You make a better lover than a you do a poet

No, I haven't got that around the wrong way...

America saved your asses in both World Wars

Right - didn't really fight a war - they jumped in and fought a war along side the world war only because another country bombed them and retaliated by bombing innocent people. Not saying Britain didn't do bombing, but the Blitz was bad. America had a much bigger population in the world wars, but only 626,000 died compared to 1mil British with a smaller population. Bletchley Park played a huge role. No one single country one the world war. Admittedly, America had a large War, but other countries also played a substantial role, it wasn't just America.

Also very few English people own donkeys so we really didn't need our asses saved

This is going to raise the hackles of any proud Englishman - even the most placid of people.

Notice you didn't get into the war straight away. LAZY

WWI RMS Lusitania was torpedoed, WWII Pearl Harbour.

Your national anthem sucks

Same thing if you said this To We Canadians!

DO NOT EVER SAY THIS! We don't look good when we cry!

I prefer the look of the American flag
Christopher Columbus didn't discover America

Do the English really try to take credit for the work of an Italian sailing for the Spanish Crown?

Um Britgirl Christopher Columbus got credit from the vikings doing it

Just humour us on this, please? We DID discover America, didn't we... ?

Great Britain no longer has an empire

The worst thing you can do to even the most unpatriotic Englishmen is diss the empire.

GREAT Britain? Pah!

There is a reason why the word GREAT exists in front of Britain. Get used to it. It's been difficult but we managed it.

Do you speak American?

It's the English language. Americans (hand on heart, God bless America and all that) only have an accent.

Darn too-tin they do. It's wah separates t'mericans from awl y'all animals!

The Contenders
It's great that I'm not British
Go Scotland!

Nothing wrong with Scotland, as long as you don't believe in the Loch Ness Monster.
It was either from the prehistoric or a myth.

The English may as well hotfoot it to Jockland as they're all over here...

Ah, the Highlands; where the REAL men live.

You ruled India. Nice that you are now 20 times smaller than it.
Don't you guys all sit around and have "tea time"?

I drink coffee. I like Costa Coffee.

Do you like the rain over there?

Do you realise all this stupid rain is why we don't have Spring breaks and shorter summer school and college holidays (vacation)
We have bank holidays Spring break is like Easter.
Summer is Late July- Early September.

Do you want to go to the speech class at my daughter's preschool?
Want some crumpets?
Would you like some tea?
What language do you speak in England?
Have you met the Queen?
I can't understand you, speak American.
Where is your accent from?
France is better
What time is your dentist appointment?
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