Top Ten Worst Things to Say at a Wedding

Well, hello there! I haven't posted a list in a while now, gotta get back to the habit!

This list is, as always, 100% created by CityGuru. No Google or any type of search engines were used.

The Top Ten

1 If you think today is the best day of your life, just wait till her funeral!

You could get in trouble

This should be #1 I mean imagine if someone said that to you. It would be the WORST!

This is really clever

2 I've seen better grooms from a pair of monkeys.

My version of a subtle joke. - CityGuru

3 Well, our affair was fun while it lasted.

That leads to fights

4 Hopefully, this marriage will last longer than his pogo stick

That's right, honey, we'll have to adopt kids. - PositronWildhawk

5 Um, excuse me, where's the beer? I'm having a withdrawal

Loudly in the middle of the reading. - CityGuru

6 Just think: Now you'll never have to buy yogurt again!
7 The only part of you two that won't be together is her legs.

Well, what a surprise - CityGuru

8 The things your parents will pay for when you knock up a girl...
9 My friends and family separate from yours. Just like in the war!
10 Boy, those are some pretty good looking flower girls. How old are they? 4? 5?

Now he's the kind of guy you don't invite to your wedding. - CityGuru

The Contenders

11 Where are you going for your honeymoon? Jail?

This must be higher. If you tell it in a wedding, you're doomed. - Animefan12

LOL think this person is drunk LOL

12 I think we both had the same thoughts. You'll do.
13 I've had lust for you ever since you were 9 and I was 23.
14 Here, you left this tampon at my place last night
15 Don't you worry, I know the perfect divorce lawyer!

Just in case she's not your type... - Turkeyasylum

Saves you the hassle. - CityGuru


Imagine if Eminem attended a wedding where someone said this.

Just great

17 Run to the hills! Run for your lives!

Is this an Iron Maiden reference?

Maybe a disaster has occurred on the wedding hall. - Animefan12

Why do you wanna get out of there so bad?

18 There goes the rest of my life.
19 I'm Naked!
20 That dress is the same color as my butt!

Rude and very inappropriate and insulting

21 I knew Santa would eventually get me a wife.
22 I wanna f**k you like an animal.
23 My life would be so much better; IF YOU DROPPED DEAD!

Eminem reference

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