Top Ten Worst Things to Say to Your Spouse

Turkeyasylum
Suppose you have a good, or even a decent relationship with your spouse. You are happy to have found each other, and maybe even have a family. You almost mever argue, and everything is great for you.

But then your spouse does something stupid, like decide to buy a coffee pot with your money. Instead of thinking about it, and being calm about it, you choose to argue with your spouse over something that little. So, what should you not say to them? Read this list.

Feel free to add more to the list, if you choose, vote, comment, share your opinion on the ideas, remix, or give criticism. But please, enjoy.

The Top Ten

1 Our relationship is about as fun as being tied to a post in the middle of a cornfield during a tornado

That's one heck of a comparison! - Kiteretsunu

V 1 Comment
2 I was going to buy the family a TV today, but after you did something as stupid as that, I'm gonna buy your casket instead. We've got the knife already.

Hey, if you really want to say this, be ready to have a trial coming your way. - Turkeyasylum

3 Everybody has to be perfect. You made a mistake, and it's a fair warning. Next time it's a divorce.

When it's a small argument, it's even worse to say this. - Turkeyasylum

This is horrible if you say that.

4 You remember the good ol' days when you were allowed to abuse your spouse? We're going to invent a time machine and go back there. We can bring a wooden spoon, too.

This is sure to provoke a massive fight. - Turkeyasylum

5 Sex cures everything. Even HIV. So maybe if you had sex with me, you could save me from my HIV.

But if you actually believe the above said thing, you're even more stupid than the speaker. - Kiteretsunu

Saying something like this officially proves you're an idiot. - Turkeyasylum

V 1 Comment
6 I had a good conversation with Michael Vick today. He said what we should do with our dog is to buy three more and have them attack each other, then attack you.
7 Hey, wanna go out on a date today? I'm thinking we could hit the strip clubs. Brought a whole fifty...

Strip club... Wow, what a date... - Turkeyasylum

8 Oh, come on, how could you not like this puppy? It's adorable like you, and so tempting to put in the sack.
9 I have you take showers every day in the morning because when you go to bed, I...

This sentence is doomed for sure. Don't even try... - Turkeyasylum

10 Ok, ok, we won't have kids! But if you change your mind, half their genes are in the fridge.

The Contenders

11 Remember those happy days when I just followed you everywhere and didn't have to put up with you talking?
12 I'd like to thank my secret other family for helping me put up with this one.
13 Wanna go fishing? I'm sure you do so you can "hook" another patient for your business...

Accusing your spouse of being a hooker? Nice job, you're getting divorced for certain! - Turkeyasylum

14 Our kids just aren't as productive as those Chinese sweatshop kids. I was really expecting more from them.
15 I heard skinny dipping's fun... I figured I'll bring a few friends to go. Make sure you have some dinner ready for us when we get back.

I will not explain anything else.

Thanks for reading! - Turkeyasylum

16 I wish you could see me without this mask on.
17 I've always admired those bazongas, but darling, they're just mediocre when you're angry.
18 Which of our daughters do you think is sexiest?
19 I just wanted to say that there's no shame in coming out as gay. Yes, I am gay. But thanks for doing so much to hide it from everyone.
20 Shall we take the kids to your mother's party- I mean, funeral?
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List StatsUpdated 18 Aug 2017

22 listings
2 years, 71 days old

Top Remixes (4)

1. Our relationship is about as fun as being tied to a post in the middle of a cornfield during a tornado
2. Everybody has to be perfect. You made a mistake, and it's a fair warning. Next time it's a divorce.
3. I was going to buy the family a TV today, but after you did something as stupid as that, I'm gonna buy your casket instead. We've got the knife already.
Turkeyasylum
1. Oh, come on, how could you not like this puppy? It's adorable like you, and so tempting to put in the sack.
2. Ok, ok, we won't have kids! But if you change your mind, half their genes are in the fridge.
3. Remember those happy days when I just followed you everywhere and didn't have to put up with you talking?
PositronWildhawk
1. You remember the good ol' days when you were allowed to abuse your spouse? We're going to invent a time machine and go back there. We can bring a wooden spoon, too.
2. I was going to buy the family a TV today, but after you did something as stupid as that, I'm gonna buy your casket instead. We've got the knife already.
3. Hey, wanna go out on a date today? I'm thinking we could hit the strip clubs. Brought a whole fifty...
cosmo

WRemix
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