Worst Things to Wake Your Sleeping Wife Up to Say

Gentlemen, your beautiful hardworking wife needs much deserved, undisturbed beauty sleep. SO DON'T WAKE HER UP WITH STUPID REMARKS! She won't thank you for it, believe me!

The Top Ten

1 "Hey! You asleep?!"

Waking her up to ask this is just asking for a full English breakfast minus the - ahem- black pudding... - Britgirl

Wow this is also the stupidest question - OneWayStreet

Oh man, I think we need to break up then. - keycha1n

2 "I can't sleep!"

Typical! If YOU can't get any shut eye, does that mean your wife can't either? - Britgirl

I like this list. Back to your old classics! :) I love you, Tina! - keyson

3 "I had a fart brewing. It was a cracker. Didn't want you to miss it."

Waking her up just to hear you bottom burp is not going to win you any favours. - Britgirl

4 "Yeah! Footie with the lads tomorrow. I'm excited! You excited? You don't look excited..."

If you end up with a mouthful of styling moose, it's your own fault. - Britgirl

5 "My new secretary starts tomorrow... By all accounts she's a bit of a looker..."

You should only say that if you want a divorse - Hunter17p

6 "Hey! Supercali...no, er, supercalifrag...no. Oh s***, I could pronounce it a minute ago!"

All very well waking her up just to show off that you've learned a new long word - just make sure you can pronounce it first. Tsk! - Britgirl

7 "Will you rub some of my rash cream on it, babe? Itches like hell!"
8 "Ha! Listen to this: 'Women need more sleep than men' Hey, you listening, babe? Babe!"

My husband would be very sorry if he said that to me while I'm sleeping. Plus, women need more sleep than men because they're can multitask at Home and at Work. Men are NOT at multitasking at all, even if they have kids.

Laugh out loud, this list's hilarious, it rocks, thanks Britgirl! - Fan_of_Good_Music

Use that knowledge productively, why don't you? - PositronWildhawk

9 "I'm still wide awake. Fancy trying for a family again?"

Yep, that's a splendid idea. Especially when you interject it at random. - PositronWildhawk

10 "'Night then...OI! I said, 'night, then!"

The Contenders

11 "Wanna have sex?"

What the HECK?!? That's nasty, why would you ask that? Unless you are planning on producing life, don't bother! - RockFashionista

12 "Let's divorce."

That just Yoloing Your Wife - Stevenpenguin

14 "You're a stupid hoe!"

I think I would hear that in a nightmare.

Haha, which dick head put this here. Lol.

15 "Do people grow from spores?"

I got this from a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip.

16 "I'm hungry. Make me some dinner."
17 "I have something very important to say: Hi!"
18 "Make me a sandwich"
19 "Wanna have some 'fun'? You do?"
20 "Do you wanna build a snowman?
21 "Howzat for telepathy!"
22 "Wake the Hell Up & Get a Job, Ya Bimbo!"
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