WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Rack City

WonkeyDude98
Shoutout to Swellow for the idea. His post about this song was phenomenal, easily his best one to date. However, I feel like he lacked a lot of punch that could have been used for this abomination of a song.

Tyga is a rapper whose entire persona is based on his mediocrity. His voice: mediocre. His lyrics: terrible, but mediocre. His attitude: nonexistent, and when it is there it reaches Chris Brown's level of giant sentient genitalia. He's only famous because 1. Young Money 2. Chris Brown's constant collaborations with him, such as Loyal, Deuces, and the entirety of the Fan of a Fan album and 3. His relationship with Kylie Jenner (if you want to know more, listen to Stimulated by Tyga....actually don't, it's even worse than the song on the table today).

If you want to know why 2013 (in particular), 2014, 2015, and 2016 have been such lacking years for mainstream rap, it can all be faulted on this song, in every regard. Wanna know why crunk was replaced with whisper rap? Here. Wanna know why party music turned to boring mush? Here (ohhhh here ohhhh here, funnily enough a song that would probably detest this one).

This beat is a disaster, by being nothing. There are exactly two loops in the song, one which cuts out at random. One is a low end three-note synth that is too distant to be audible but not frensettered (The only reason I know this word is because TheDoubleAgent used this to describe Only on his Worst of 2015 list, so bear with me) enough to be disturbing. So basically it's nothing, a fitting word to describe this entire song. The other loop is trap percussion and crowd chants, with hi-hats at every drop. *slow clap* WHO PRODUCED THIS AWFUL NOTHINGNESS?!?!?!?!?!?!!!! DJ Mustard? Ohh....that makes sense. DJ MUSTARD YOU ARE A TALENTLESS HACK AND YOU NEED TO GET ANOTHER CAREER DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Tyga's delivery is what I like to call whisper-rapping, the only genre I rate as low as a 1/10. And he's probably the WORST person in that genre. His delivery is confined, strained, nasal, and monotonous to the point of being grating. The only people I think with a worse monotone are Lauren Jurageui (from Fifth Harmony) and Future. Swellow and I joke that no matter what mood Tyga is in, he always sounds like a teenager talking to his mom on the phone, with this being the worst example (and given the lyrics, he was probably playing GTA during that phone call).

The lyrics are probably the best part of this mess, but that's not really saying much at all, NOW IS IT?!?!??! NO IT'S NOT. It's just regular luxury, h**s, money, you know, stuff you don't care about. Some lines actually give more credence to the phone call theory, like "(Mom: Tyga, what grade are you in?) I'm a m************ star", "(Mom: What's your favorite color?) Look at da paint on da caaar", "(Mom: It's ugly, change it) Too much rim make the car too hard". I honestly have nothing to say about this, just like how Tuba here has nothing to say about anything. Quite fitting, honestly.

Even if Stimulated is much, much, MUCH worse IMO for its pedophilic logic and commerical flopping, Rack City is still an absolute piece of garbage that's only redeeming quality is that in 2012 there were worse, and even then that's probably because of this song. It's not even boring in an interesting way, like say Tuesday by ILOVEMAKONNEN, no it's just straight up boring. It's to boredom what Fight Song is to standardness (and there goes my conscience).

This song destroyed rap music as we know it, as almost every other popular rapper has tried to make a song like this (looking at you, Unlock the Swag by Rae Sremmurd). Tyga and DJ Mustard are blights on humanity. With Kendrick Lamar having charting success for exactly two weeks (with King Kunta) and this being as huge as it was, it is clear we have to eradicate DJ Mustard and Chris Brown (which by extention removes Tyga) from life. WHO'S WITH ME?! *crickets chirp* Eh. I'll end this review with the inevitable -1/5, and skip it. AVOID IT. You should probably go to Stimulated, if not just to dislike the video and make a pedophile tape a hit. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out.

Comments

I have no idea how this went triple platinum. - visitor

Well SremmLife got an A- from Slant Magazine, the same people who gave Eminem's Recovery a 1.5/5, so we can see that faith in humanity is lost. - WonkeyDude98

Goats.were hypnotized after Tyga raped them and now they're spamming great comments about Tyga although he's literally the worst artist to ever exist. - AlphaQ

Why would Tyga wanna have sex with grandmas? - bobbythebrony

He needs mental help. Someone call Dr. E. Gadd, oh wait wrong. - WonkeyDude98

You mean why does Tyga have sex with goats - AlphaQ

When you realize Baby is at number 1 in the Worst Songs list and this isn't even at the top 20 - Martinglez

Well, it's in the top 30...I think... - WonkeyDude98

It's at 36 - Martinglez

SOMEBODY, KILL TYGA ALREADY. - RiverClanRocks

In other words:

"This not-so-wild Tyga needs to be put down immediately." - WonkeyDude98

Tyga < Rae Sremmurd, BOTDF, Die Antwoord, Lukas Graham, Papa Smurf < Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne < Justin Bibero < Swag-yea West. - AlphaQ

I'm doing a rant on Stimulated. - AlphaQ

Eh, this was a bit too soft. - AlphaQ

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