The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2019
crowdiegal We have reached the end of 2019, so it is time to discuss the hit songs that actively pissed me off during this year. 2019 is a difficult year to find the absolute worst in popular music mostly because a lot of it while not great was pretty good and others relatively inoffensive that I was just ambivalent toward, I really enjoyed this year music wise, however it also meant the absolutely terrible hit songs stuck out like sore thumbs and need to their rotting fleshy carcasses dealt with however I will say I am not as angry toward some of these as they aren’t worth the hatred as there was MUCH worse that didn’t chart (looking at you Liam Payne, Zac Brown Band and AJR)My rules for this list are simple, the songs must have made their debut on the year end list for 2019 to be considered, overplayed on the radio cannot be a factor for making this list, a song has to actively piss me off with its content or the actual music to make it
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Also I have decided to introduce a new rule, if a song that made the 2018 year end list hits the 2019 year end list higher then that’s eligible for this list too.
Let’s get this show started with a song I am certain I am the only person that changed the station when it came on the radio because I was so tired of it
10. I’m So Tired” by Lauv and Troye Sivan
I loved Troye Sivan’s 2018 album “Bloom” however this song just drives me up the wall every single god damn time I hear it, it’s a song where Lauv and Sivan complain that they are “so tired of love songs” that they just want to go home and how sick they are of people falling in love to their song. Seriously? If a song makes that connection for somebody to falling in love that’s honestly a great thing. The second verse goes through how clingy this guy is, there’s a vague element of creepy here and that shines through in the production with its minimalist and uninteresting close to trap music sound that by the way is so played out in modern music.
If you can get past how creepy the vocals and the production is on this song than good for you…I guess but I can’t…this song blows…time to move on…
This next song is from a group that really disappointed me in 2019, this band released a song earlier in the decade that might just make my top ten best hit songs of the decade, but I can’t lie when they disappointed me, they disappointed me hard and boy did they disappoint in 2019
9. “Rescue Me” by OneRepublic
It’s hard to believe OneRepublic have gone from pop rock anthems like “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” to “Rescue Me” mostly because both “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” sees OneRepublic front man Ryan Tedder exude some charisma and genuine personality on both songs that make them infectious and danceable however “Rescue Me” can’t enter the pantheon Tedder sounds monotonous and lacking any sort of fire or passion on the hook and as for the production, the instrumentation sounds like its trying to connect three or four different songs, it just doesn’t work at all and this was another instant radio station changer when this come on, it’s a painfully tired song and OneRepublic are capable of so much better.
Speaking of capable of so much better, two genuine pop music popstars get together for a collaboration and come up with this?
8. “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber
It ought to be a crime to have Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber on a song together and neither of them show more personality or charisma than a cake of soap and much like Ryan Tedder on “Rescue Me”, they sound like they would rather be anywhere else than dancing with their baby, these two sound like they are having as much fun as a couple of kids in detention writing “I must not sing “Yummy” during maths”
Also not helping is the production lacking any kind of groove or energy. The only energy about this song is what sounds like a monkey jacked up on sleeping pills and Red Bull.
Given what Justin Bieber has released this year so far, its safe to say he will be on this list again not that he’d care all that much.
So after “Meant to Be” in 2018, country and pop combining continued to be a thing with Dan and Shay’s “10,000 Hours” feat. Justin Bieber which while boringly nauseating didn’t make my blood run cold however I can’t say the same for this EDM-country mess, Marshmello, PLEASE EXPLAIN?
7. “One Thing Right” by Marshmello feat. Kane Brown
After the “Meant to Be” clusterf*** of 2018, I would have thought pop and country would have learned that this kind of thing has more chance of sounding terrible than any good but EDM producer Marshmello not getting the message with this attempt at EDM country ‘rock’ with that awful squealing guitar during the breakdown that just sends a cold chill down my back and my teeth on edge every time I hear it.
The production means Kane Brown has to deliver the lyrics in this flat monotone not that it really matters because the lyrics are the 2019 version of Hoobastank’s “The Reason” with all the sickening subtext as well, if you’ve cheated on and lied to her, Kane, why the hell is she sticking around? She should have packed up and left you ages ago.
This song got played over any number of women in country and independent artists on US country radio and added to the unnecessary maligning of country music as a whole.
Marshmello can go away any time he likes as far as I am concerned.
So my thoughts on this band in recent days have been overwhelmingly positive in light of the release of their most recent single on Thursday so in order to figure out why they are making this list, you have to go back to the first single from this upcoming album…
6. “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer
My anger at this song is kind of diluted by the fact that “Teeth” was pretty good and their new single “No Shame” is excellent however it makes “Easier” a massive disappointment because there was so much potential to this song instead the production sounds like the three producers on this track Louis Bell, Andrew Watt, andCharlie Puth intermixed four sounds into one and it sounds TERRIBLE.
Luke’s falsetto on this song is ear grating, granted it’s much better on “No Shame” but that doesn’t excuse how awful “Easier” is on the ear which draws attention to the lyrics which draw into this toxic relationship where he doesn’t want to find out the answer if its easier to stay or go because this girl is beautiful…a girl being beautiful is NOT a good enough reason to stay in a bad relationship, this is the sort of relationship that sinks toward being in emotionally abusive territory. Definitely not a good song,
Look, this next guy has been a plague on the music scene for the entirety of the 2010s and what is worse some people want to crown this person as a king of R’n’B despite many of his albums during the past decade being bloated atrocities yet somehow this over rated and overtly decorated clown still somehow has a music career,
5. “No Guidance” by Chris Brown and Drake
So somehow everyone, who in recent days has been lining up to give Justin Bieber a pass for a generic plague dispenser of a lazy, slapdash album which they shouldn’t. has declared Chris Brown a legend and wanting to bestow some kind of “king of ‘r’n’b’ crown, two titles that he does not deserve as his songs are mostly drizzled with autotune or absolutely gross eg: 2017 single “No Privacy” or his 2018 hit with “rapper” Lil Dicky “Freaky Friday” (which should have made my worst list in 2018). This song is an absolute slog to sit through with its bland beat as Brown continues to show his terrible attitude toward women by gaslighting young women into having sex with him. Ew.
What is not much better is there’s no chemistry or interesting word play by either Drake or Brown has they sloppily try to hook up with a girl through layers of autotune. Chris Brown is no king of R’n’B and Drake will most likely continue to be the most over exposed music star in the world next to Ariana Grande (we’ll get to her) while inspiring Justin Bieber to s*** out mediocrity
Oh boy…this song has been piled on by plenty of people and originally, I wasn’t one of them however with the passing of time I have realized my mistake and that Lewis Capaldi was committing crimes against good music.
4. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi
Here we have the most overwrought song to become a hit since Whitney Houston’s ghastly cover of “I Will Always Love You” (have to slaughter one sacred cow) but unlike Whitney Houston, Lewis Capaldi sounds like he is just perpetually in pain after one too many kicks to the scrotum while on a bender which makes “Somebody Like You” intolerable at least from a vocal standpoint, the only saving grace for Capaldi is that at least he has more charisma than Justin Bieber.
This song is toxic in the worst way possible, it only reinforces what this girl did without any balance to indicate why she maybe did what she did to end the relationship and the song just comes off sounding like Capaldi whining over this really dreary piano. Yeah, I might have liked this song when it first came out but yeah repeated listens to it on the radio soured me on this toxic, whiny mess in no time at all and if “Before You Go” makes the year end for 2020, we might well be talking about Capaldi again. Joy.
So let’s get to a regular on a year-end worst list…Halsey. Now much like 5 Seconds of Summer, she has released a decent song off her new album “Manic” as her new single and it is currently sitting in the top 5 but if you all remember, in 2019, she released this…
3. “Without Me” by Halsey
This song was never going to top this list but oh boy, this song has so many issues, it’s hard to know where to begin, the production is this watery mess that’s not got enough gravitas to carry any of the melodrama that Halsey is trying to sell with all the enthusiasm of a seven year old child trying to avoid hugging that uncle who smells of cigarettes and stale farts.
The content of the song though is the reason that this song is so high up on this list where Halsey claims she was the one who carried presumably G-Eazy to the top which I doubt considering he was doing well on the charts before those two started dating, it’s got this veneer of ego and lack of self-awareness that makes this song frankly really toxic and paints Halsey in a pretty ordinary light. I have no use for this song.
Now we get to somebody I never imagined I would be putting on a year end worst list but it was the first song of 2019 that I took an instant dislike too and well…
2. “7 Rings” by Ariana Grande
Man, I was really starting to like Ariana Grande and she goes and releases this awful trap ridden garbage that her cooing sounds terrible over which features an interpolation of “My Favourite Things” from Sound of Music? I mean come on Ariana, you are better than this especially when “Into You”, “Love Me Harder”, “No Tears Left to Cry” and even “Dangerous Woman” exist!
Also the message of the song is a horrific one, if you feel sad, go out and spend a tonne of money because Ariana’s fans all have parents who are loaded with money and can afford to let their kids splash out on a new doll or whatever because they are feeling sad. Capitalism isn’t something we can revert to whenever we are feeling miserable, Ariana, that isn’t healthy for anyone.
This is a gross and frankly awful song that hopefully will be forgotten about but its not my number one so what could possibly be worse than what I’ve already spoken about?
My number one song reflects how toxic the world is right now in all kinds of ways, this guy should never had a top ten hit with this nor should this have been excused by so many people.
1. "Hot Girl Bummer” by Blackbear
This song just shouldn’t exist, it just shouldn’t and the fact this song became a bigger hit in Australia than the song it rode the magic carpet off that being “Hot Girl Summer” by Megan Thee Stallion feat. Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign is a crime worthy of having somebody locked in Long Bay jail for and the fact he dropped this cheap crappy synth and trap slog makes me question whether hip hop and popular music have any god damn standards anymore.
The implication that all these girls that Blackbear is meeting with at this party are stupid and cheat every Thursday unlike him, the stench of rising crappy misogyny rising from this stinky turd is actually intolerable especially as Blackbear is the one painting himself as somebody who would never cheat and oh he is too big to fit in a condom. I mean please that is gross.
At the end of the day, this song is the pissy, disgusting kind of garbage the charts can ill afford, worst hit song of 2019 and if we’re lucky, Blackbear will fade into relative obscurity.
Comments
Good list I agree with most of these or at least there are none that immediately jump out of me as "no that's good how could you" are you also going to release a best list? - Powell
Best hits of 2019 list is up on my blog. Just need to find time to transfer the list to the post section on the best songs of 2019 page - crowdiegal
Honestly puzzles me how "Someone You Loved" is even likeable, ofc there's the bad part about the lyrics like you mentioned but also the fact that it sounds like an old man crooning over a rather nice-sounding piano part that should've been used elsewhere - StarlightSpanks
I agree that the piano is the only part that could have been alright even then there isn't anything special about it. - Powell