Top 10 Types of Videos that Always Seem to Appear on America's Funniest Home Videos
-
Piñata crotch hit
At this point, these videos are basically public service announcements that are not being seen by a wide enough audience, judging by the number of people that keep appearing in them. AFV is doing their part by taking time out of their programming every week to show the perils of holding the piñata cord while a three-foot-tall, hopped up on birthday cake and fruit punch, bat-wielding blindfolded psychopath takes wild swings. Now it's up to you, America. Make better choices.
-
Motorcycle accident in the backyard
Anyone else genuinely surprised at the number of people who try riding a motorcycle in their backyard, especially given the fact that it seems to go poorly approximately 100% of the time?
Well, it's what they get for driving those things in such a tiny space.
Why people ride motorcycles in their backyards I have no idea.
-
Kid knocked over by a ball
The way their little feet come flying up and their oversized heads snap back when they get blasted by an inflatable ball... I doubt I'll ever tire of these videos. AFV has already done specials for weddings and animals. Can we please have an unsuspecting kids getting leveled by beach balls special, or would that much hilarity be hazardous to one's health?
-
Hurting self while practicing martial arts
Semi-fit, shirtless guy records himself practicing with his nunchucks. Hits himself in the crotch. There is no laughing off-camera, and the camera does not shake because the guy who does this has no friends to hold the camera for him.
Actually, I'm currently practicing with nunchucks in Taekwondo, and hitting yourself in the crotch happens way more often than you may think it does.
-
Mom freaking out upon discovering her daughter is pregnant
Moms, you don't need to overreact and make a fool of yourself. AFV, we don't need to see all three minutes of the soon-to-be grandma waving her hands and screaming "Oh my God" over and over.
All it is: Mom screaming and waving her hands around.
-
Fainting at a wedding
Want to liven up the affair? Have the wedding line stand with their knees locked out and wait for the fun to begin.
-
People falling
-
Senior citizen taking forever to fall
White hair, orthopedic shoes, a slight incline, and a little too much momentum in one direction equals a stumbling, pinwheeling, and eventually falling senior citizen who is guaranteed to earn their kids a free AFV t-shirt.
-
Fake lottery ticket prank
The ultimate in cruelty. The only good thing is you know the video will last long enough for a bathroom break.
-
People getting jump scares
-
?
Epic fails while trying to do a trick or stunt
-
?
Grandparents trying to scooter, skateboard, bike, etc.
-
Messing up while diving into a body of water
-
Making messes
-
Holding on to a zip line too long
Whether it ends with a backflip or a collision with a tree, these videos should always have a place on the show.
-
Teenage girl dance fail
Basically, the female version of the dude hitting himself in the nuts while showing off his karate moves. Teen girls creating their own music videos are bound to hit their heads, have their socks slip on the hard floor, or awkwardly fall off the chair, table, bunk bed, etc., they are using as a prop.
Once I saw one doing gymnastics on a damn coat rack. I think you can picture the aftermath.
-
Things falling on people
-
People or animals running into a glass door
-
Lip-syncing songs
-
Kids needing to use the bathroom
-
People jumping off things
-
Cats falling
Um, excuse me? How is seeing an innocent animal getting frightened and even hurt funny for anyone older than 5?
-
Grandma trying the newest trend
I hope they don't include dabbing.
-
Falling off a skateboard
-
Dogs eating
-
Eating hot mustard and then being unable to open eyes
-
People running into doorways or hallways with plastic wrap stretched across them