G-4rce Anime Reviews: Bakemonogatari

Mcgillacuddy Warning: the review will contain spoilers

School. Lots and lots of school. Man, this semester is going to be a pain in the ass, but I'm committing myself to this f*ckery and I'm gonna continue getting these reviews in. So here we have Bakemonogatari, an anime that took me a while to get into. If you want to watch this series, I highly suggest reading this review first if you don't mind a couple of spoilers, because you need to know what you're getting yourself into. Also, before we start, this video is a must-watch:

8.39 on MyAnimeList
Rank #159

My Thoughts and Review:

" If I can, I'd like to bring back what she has lost, what she threw away. " - Koyomi Araragi

" People have to save themselves. One person saving another is impossible. "
- Meme Oshino

" In our society, letting others find out you're a nice person is a very risky move. It's extremely likely someone will take advantage of that." - Senjougahara Hitagi

So I first found out about this anime when I saw a quick clip of it on YouTube, and I have to say that I was... quite stunned. I wasn't really getting deeper into it because I was watching other anime at the time, but a few months later I decided to take a look at the series on MyAnimeList, and I was pretty impressed to see that this anime is doing well for itself. Still being into other anime, I waited even longer to actually start this series. After Spring Semester ended, I finally get down in this series... and for 2 hours I'm just sitting there with a huge question mark over my head wondering what the hell I got myself into...

This is probably one of the most bizarre anime I've ever watched, if not one of the most bizarre TV SHOWS I've watched. The first two episodes can gain your interest in the anime, but then episode 3 comes and you're hit with a mindf*ck of an opening theme song; on top of which is a completely random story that just seems to stray away from what happened in the previous episodes. I was left sitting there for 2 more episodes just staying patient, hoping that this anime would turn into what I was hearing about. Then we get episode 5, where there's a heartwarming ending and a tiny bit of understanding what this anime is about, but we're still left with so many questions. Then episode 6 comes, and that's when things begin to kick off. One of the most amusing things about this anime is that it's like a drama/romance/comedy/harem/horror/action all smashed into one, but really, your participation in Bakemonogatari requires you to concentrate and read your ass off. There is a LOT of talking in this anime. As a matter of fact, there's so much talking that if you can't read fast, then you'll most-likely be pausing over and over to read what someone is saying. Not to mention, there are a series of random scene cuts into screen-covering topic cards that sometimes show up for no reason, and times that give the audience an important message that ties into the plot and may require a ridiculous amount of pauses to read. I found this a very unique strategy into earning a certain sort of interest; is to make the audience work for that interest. So after the first 5 episodes, you may end up just going "You know what, this is a bunch of bullsh*t, so thank you for your time Bakemonogatari, but I think I'll go back to my One Piece." Guess what? You gave up right before it was finally getting somewhere. Don't be fooled by all the innocent crap that's been going on. This anime gets dark and very violent; bloody violent. Once you finish episode 6, things start to get juicy and you begin to understand how this anime rolls. It's different. Very different.

The world of Monogatari revolves around Japanese mythology, including apparitions such as gods, spirits, and demons; all including the characters' interactions with these apparitions. The main protagonist of Bakemonogatari is Koyomi Araragi, a half-vampire high school student who helps victims of certain apparitions confront their "oddities", with the first being Hitagi Senjougahara, a high school girl who has been cursed by a supernatural entity known as a "weight-crab", which is a literal crab spirit, by the way. Araragi gains help from Meme Oshino, an expert in supernatural entities and deities. The way the characters are built in this anime are very well-done. Araragi is a person who is definitely willing to help anyone and seek out the best answer for his clients, but while also bearing the burden of dealing with their oddities and their social characteristics, but every character has some sort of solid connection with Araragi himself. Senjougahara ended up taking a love interest with Araragi-san, and Araragi willingly accepts it, but a relationship like this comes with a price. Right now, we're looking at our protagonist getting mauled at his own game, but Araragi willingly accepts this burden and strives to fight for the best results, even if it kills him. And let me tell you something, Araragi does pay for it. Oh, god damn, does he pay for it. Things begin to take wild turns for him, starting off with a brutal beating from Kanbaru Suruga, another high school student who has taken the hand of the "Rainy Devil" demon. You know that YouTube video I was talking about at the start of my review? Yup, it was the beating, and the developers of it pulled no punches. Araragi gets his arm broken, a hole kicked through his stomach, and gets swung across the room by his intestines. Like, Holy God. Not cool, bro. But he's all good, though. He's half-vampire so he can heal anything. You end up kinda feeling bad for the guy, but the thing is, you see that he had it coming. Everything that led up to the beating and the aftermath were MIND-BLOWING. This anime revolves mostly around the characters, and Araragi's actions and relationships heavily affect the anime's plot. It's like watching a damn Telltale game, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

Another thing I must say about Bakemonogatari is that it hits so many novelty areas directly in the balls, such as SMOOTH, CLEAN animation; like seriously some of the most badass animation you can find; and a whoop ASS soundtrack. Start off with the Rainy Devil theme and I guarantee you'll end up wanting more. The animation is insanely unique, with a lot of weirdly-placed colors and many colorless backgrounds. This also includes no other extra characters shown in the anime besides the ones you know. The world just feels empty and completely lifeless around them; a pretty unique and creepy setting. As a whole, it's a completely unique take on animation and is very amusing.

After watching this anime, I have to say that I'm completely without words. Normally, I'm into some action anime with hardcore fights and other novelty crap, but if you give me an unforgettable storyline, bet your ass I'm gonna praise the hell out of you. Give these people the score...

Overall Score 10/10:
This is not your average anime. It's a direct balls-to-the-wall experience that you're not going to get anywhere else. I rarely give out perfect scores, but Bakemonogatari became an instant one-punch knockout for me with such genius writing and development. You really connect with the characters, and the developers managed to make this entire fictional world just feel completely relatable. It's a deteriorating anime, filled with dark comedy, constant dialogue, completely bizarre extras, and a little bit of fanservice, but I feel that the creator of this anime just found some part in the human mind that can connect with this sort of deterioration, and he just created a story that is likable by all means. I've never watched another anime that was just so well-written. If you want to really commit yourself to the Monogatari series, by all means go for it and I guarantee that you'll be completely satisfied with the results.

Well, thanks for reading today's anime review! I'll be back soon :)


As always, amazing review. I'm pretty mixed on anime, but your description of this specific anime really makes me want to check it out. - SwagFlicks

Yeah I tried to be as precise as I could, but this anime is pretty crazy. You just have to wait a bit for the intensity to set in. - Mcgillacuddy

But thanks - Mcgillacuddy

The only intensity about anime is my hatred for it. - visitor

Oooh. I wanna watch bakemonogatari!
good reveiw by the way - leafstar

Thanks 😀 - Mcgillacuddy

Phenomenal anime review. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Thanks bro 👍 - Mcgillacuddy

Shrek is a better anime. It's one of the few animes that's actually good. - visitor

LoL I guess they don't call you Therandom for nothing - Mcgillacuddy

Pfft, nothing compared to Cory, Harambe, Jimmy Neutron, Bee Movie etc. - Puga

Tis not random. I'm saying Shrek is a better anime than this nonsense. - visitor

Shrek is better than all those animes. - visitor

Pathetic opinion - Puga

No, Shrek 2 is the best political party, Freddy Fazbear is the best anime. - Skullkid755

No, it's quite an amazing opinion. - visitor

Freddy is a terrible anime. - visitor

Nope, nope nope, Shrek 2 is a political party that combines what makes libertarians and librarians great. - Skullkid755

Yoshi is my favorite anime of all time and Freddy was just a one day phase in my life. In fact, looking back on Freddy Fazbear after all of these hours, I realize, What The F*cking Hell was I watching!?!?!? - Skullkid755

lol nope. - visitor

Yoshi is a good anime with an amazing plot about how a skateboarder named Tony Hawk must save princess peach by defeating the alien combine after they used the Master Sword to take over the world in just a few hours. - Skullkid755

And one of the major plot twists is that Tony Hawk is a skate wizard who must go to Tony's School of Skateboard and Skateboardery. - Skullkid755

Great review. I love Bakemonogatari, and I'm glad to see that you do, too. - Elric-san

That's awesome dude :D
Cool to see someone else who was into it as well - Mcgillacuddy

Yeah, I can never find a lot of people who have seen it. - Elric-san

Great review man. I really wanna watch this anime now! - Absolite

I'm watching this anime right now. F*cking brilliant. - Absolite

Awesome :D - Mcgillacuddy

I'll check it out - TwilightKitsune

Nadeko is best girl - Kuro