NFL Teams Portrayed as High Schoolers

Randomator Because I’m bored that’s why. Which ones apply to you? Did I describe your team accurately?

Green Bay Packers- The Kid who’s in every club imaginable, has straight A’s, a 4.5 GPA, class president and is valedictorian. Just like the Packers he/she has a lot of accomplishments

New England Patriots- The Kid Who has good grades yet manages to get away with cheating. Just like the Patriots Who now have 6 Super Bowls. Deflategate? Spygate?

Cleveland Browns- The depressed kid that nobody really knows or talks to. He/she thinks their life is a factory of sadness

Houston Texans- The New Kid Who seems cool but nobody knows much about him. Just like the Texans they don’t have a lot of accomplishments yet

Jacksonville Jaguars- The scrawny Freshman Usually picked last in PE. The Jaguars are a forgettable franchise especially with guys like Blaine Gabbert and Blake Bortles at quarterback

Carolina Panthers- That annoying Freshman who constantly dabs and still acts like a middle schooler. If this is you then you might be Cam Newton

New York Giants- the guy who derped his way into somehow passing his classes/ somehow ended up taking the hot girl out to the dance. Just like Eli Manning somehow derped his way to two Super Bowls against the Patriots

Oakland Raiders- The Bully/ Kid Who tries to intimidate everyone else to hide his insecurities like Jon Gruden’s second tenure. Or the Tuck Rule game. Or the fact they pretty much haven’t been relevant since that tuck rule game and the 2003 Super Bowl

Pittsburgh Steelers- The Drama Queen who’s popular yet has a bad side to her. Just like that Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell nuclear war of 2018-19

New York Jets- Kid Who doesn’t give a damn about anything/ kid who plays on his phone instead of working in class. This person is generally class clown and makes them laugh harder than we all did when the buttfumble happened

Philadelphia Eagles- The Kid Who always talks smack but doesn’t have a lot to back it up. Just doing it for the sake of getting attention to themselves. Imagine talking all that smack and only one Lombardi trophy

Seattle Seahawks- The cheerleaders/ kid with most school spirit. That pretty much sums up the 12’s from like 2011-2014

Buffalo Bills- Kid who knows how to have fun at a party especially if there’s tables involved but doesn’t really care about school and might drop out because he’ll never accomplish anything or win a Super Bowl

Miami Dolphins- That weird kid who likes to go skateboarding, has a cool car, and is really into cars in general but also has family issues. Their car was probably built in 1972 and has been serviceable at best since. Just like the Dolphins

Arizona Cardinals- The Lost boys who really don’t have any identity now that their leader graduated. No Arians or Carson Palmer anymore. At least there’s Larry Fitzgerald but he’s in his “senior year”

San Francisco 49ers- The guy who used to be “The Man” back in middle school and freshman/sophomore year. Had his car before his friends took drivers Ed yet now that’s all he can cling onto. The good old Joe Montana days

Baltimore Ravens- That one guy with crazy athleticism and blasts his music while walking down the halls yet has had issues with violence. Ray Rice anyone?

Cincinnati Bengals- That girl who doesn’t care about her grades at all/ almost always 10 minutes late and always comes to class with Starbucks/ Chick fil A/Sonic/etc. Fitting for a team that kept Marvin Lewis around as long as they did

Tennessee Titans- The most changed from Freshman to Senior year. They were once irrelevant but now a decent guy

Indianapolis Colts: The kid who’s not the best academically or athletically but still managed to make honor roll and varsity.

Denver Broncos- That laid back kid who’s also stoned yet can be involved when he wants to be

Kansas City Chiefs- The Guys who rally the student section/ paint their chests and tailgate for hours before the football game

LA Chargers- That chill/ carefree attitude kid that’s pretty well liked but his parents divorced. And now he only lives with one parent.

LA Rams- That one guy who’s kinda popular and always goes to the big parties and even occasionally hosts them but he just can’t keep up with the popular crowd.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers- That shy kid who seems interesting but rarely opens up outside of that one time. That one Super Bowl in 2003

New Orleans Saints- That b*tchy perfectionist schoolgirl who cares only about her grades and GPA. She whines and b*tches whenever she doesn’t get her way just like the fanbase after the 2018 NFC championship

Chicago Bears- That kid who’s not very smart but tries to be like the other popular athletes with his own “Super Bowl Shuffle” yet he’s just awkward and “there” just like that 1985 Super Bowl

Minnesota Vikings- The little brother who tries to be like his older brother but can’t live up to his legacy. Maybe someday they will win a Super Bowl

Atlanta Falcons- The kid who’s into Goth/ horror that nobody truly understands. Just like the way they blew 28-3.

Detroit Lions- The socially awkward kid who’s there but doesn’t really belong to any social group. They aren’t with the Super Bowl Contenders or the playoff teams or the tankers. They just exist

Dallas Cowboys- The Prom Queen with a huge ego like Jerry Jones. She’s “The Girl” the one every other girl envy’s and the one that every guy wants to date.

Washington Redskins- The kid who tries to go out and have fun with the other kids but has strict parents like Dan Snyder


There's none that really describe me. Either Rams or Bears are closest. - 2storm

Interesting. My closest would probably be Colts, Buccaneers, Rams or maybe Lions - Randomator

Yeah I probably fit with the Colts too. - 2storm

Or maybe the Chargers - 2storm

“What type of person were you in high school?”
“Oh I was a Baltimore Raven”
“*visible confusion *” - Manlypants