Best Michael Scott Quotes

The Top Ten
1 That's what she said.

If there was ever one quintessential Michael Scott quote, it's this one. No matter how many times you hear it (or use it), it's a timeless classic. Thank you, The Office.

When you're voting on which Michael Scott quote is best, just think about it long and hard... that's what she said!

I found myself saying this for a week after a The Office marathon viewing session. Got some weird looks...

2 I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself... so, most nights before I go to bed I will lay out 6 strips of bacon out on my foreman grill. Then I go to sleep...

I absolutely fell in love with this episode. I die of laughter every time I watch it and constantly bring it up whenever it's even possible, to be honest.

3 I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday.

This quote is just so classic and captures so much about Michael. It's hilarious for reasons Michael didn't see, but also a little sad. It shows his daftness and his heart.

Great series, great guy. Sometimes I go to sleep thinking if I was in the office, then I would have a great time and meet some great people. Great.

4 People ask me, would you rather be feared or loved, um easy, I want people to be afriad of how much they love me

It's one of the first Michael quotes that really stuck with me. And I use it as an outro in my emails... Everyone needs some Michael Scott in their life.

Oh, geez, so mushy! I love this quote... makes me feel warm inside!

5 I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.
6 Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy

Michael Scott is a man of character, of those features that I value the most in people. It's such a pity people don't get to say what they think and spend all their lives pretending to understand each other.

7 I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

I spit my drink out laughing so hard at this!

8 There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
9 It's not like booze ever killed anyone
10 I'm not superstitious... I'm a little stitious
The Contenders
11 If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

I'm gonna start using that one for everybody I dislike. Great one!

12 When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

Michael Scott is my dream boss. When I imagine my life before The Office, I realize how dull it was (lol). This show is the best show ever.

13 You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
14 Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me - no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
15 Dwight, you ignorant slut
16 Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It's a tangible thing you can point at and say "Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth."
17 Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
18 Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. (to Toby)

Michael Scott may have his flaws, but all he really wants in this world is to bring happiness to everybody (and be liked for it). I always enjoyed his bizarre hatred of Toby. In this line, it becomes so clear that it isn't random, but that Toby's philosophy on life is too different from Michael's own.

I saw this episode, then I realized it's just like my brother and the rest of my family. We try something fun, and he sucks the joy out of it, always complaining. He is the "Toby" of the family. So, I think now that I see this quote, I'm going to use it...

19 It takes you thirty seconds to brush your teeth. Wow that's ten times as long as it takes me.
20 You have no idea how high I can fly.
21 Well, well, well; how the turntables....
22 It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
23 The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors.
24 Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
25 What flavor is it? Blue. Blue isn't a flavor Jim! Flavor... Blue Blast. Blue Blast, oh I love Blue Blast.
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