The Angry Outlaw Episode #19 Outlaw's Worst Nightmare (X.B.1)

htoutlaws2012
Warning the following episode is based on his sole opinion about this console, what you are about to hear may seem absurd, but after concluding his strong beliefs, the outlaw proudly presents this long awaited episode.

Previously on the angry outlaw,
Outlaw: Who speaks? Am I hallucinating on drugs?
Anonymous Voice: No, Mr. Outlaw I am the Ghost of Christmas Past! I am here to show you to change your ways about certain opinions about anything revolving around hatred.
Outlaw: What now?
Anonymous Voice 2: Greetings there outlaw! You now meet me Christmas present in which I talk anything of the present time.
Outlaw: What a long day heading to bed at ugh..., Muhahahaha!! No am I dreaming right? It can't be that's impossible!
Satan: Yes, i'm back to not torch you, no! no! no! I am here to show you the consequences about the actions you make.
Outlaw: So wait your a spirit then too?
Satan: Correct!
Outlaw: Why try to bond with me?
Satan: You need to understand I am the grim reaper, I can foresee death.
Outlaw: Show me! (pushes him in the grave) Why did they sent you for?
Satan: To annoy the hell outta you of course muhahahaha!!!! I have a gift for you, it's pretty big, and am going to open it just for you.

His the meanest outlaw in all of america,
He does not hold back from anything or anyone,
he'd rather stick it up there's and go screw a limp wang,
Then talk about the dreaded terror of furious strength in full power of rage there is no stopping him,
He is the Angry! Angry! Outlaw!

Satan: Gee this is a pretty big box all for you it must be something cutting edge. When I open this you will learn to love it muhahahaha! (as he unwraps the gift)
Outlaw: NO! The xbox one you son of a...
Satan: I can figure out what you hate the most outlaw, and I know you wouldn't dare to play this hahahahaha! Now go play that system.(vanishes away)

The look, and Name of the console: I might as well be watching with a VCR basically like seriously! This hunk of ass is the big reason why I really loath Microsoft. Yes this uninspired console for some reason rubes me the wrong way. Why do you say that? Well let's go back in time 4 years ago when there were speculations on Microsoft's newest upcoming console. Now get this, initially it was gonna be called Xbox 720, (which is what it should of been called in the first place) but for some unknown reason they ended up changing it to possibly the worst console name of all time. I mean out of all names you choose ''xbox one'' Really! What were they thinking honestly that ''Xbox won'' duh huh huh yeah that would be cool. No it would not be Butthead.

E3: Oh this brings back painful memories because this is where I immediately turned on Microsoft along with many others who booed along with me. This conference had to be one of the worst experiences I have ever watched live when it happened the way it did. Like seriously some of these are just very cringeworthy. ''xbox one is the next water cooler'' What? Or this one who kept mentioning the word TV 100 times. ''TV!, TV!, TV! TV! anybody?'' STOP please! Or how about the most memorable out of all of these the man who presented the unveiled XB1. As he explains what the system original purpose was going to be the audience and even myself begin to boo what he had said that day. So there DRM rule stated this ''To synchronize licenses, the console would be required to connect to the internet once every 24 hours; if the console could not connect, all games would be disabled until the console was connected again.'' yeah no that's not what a great system does I don't care who you are at the time it was outrageous. The president of Microsoft Don Mattick was the infamous man who unveiled,and said this stuff, and has figured oh no what have you done! A few weeks later he left the company to go to Zynga (make me wonder why that company gets heat). The last big oh this sucks is the price of the system was $500.00 at the time it was the most expensive console of the 3 consoles how absurd honestly.

The Games: Well like the PS4, the XB1 had similar games (go figure). I will focus on the games that were exclusive to the system that I do have. Let's try Crimson Dragon, for one I never would of guessed this is sort of a Panzer game. Those games well one in which was so expensive that ''it was too good to buy'' while I wouldn't know because i'm not a rich guy let just hope this is good, and oh.. well it's a rail shooter, and it is not exactly a cutting edge game either i'm already bored playing the first 20 minutes, it controls fine my problem is the game itself is not very pleasing. The characters are super generic, and they it was presented was very lame so this game is very mediocre at best. For a Panzer game that is disappointing. Next, Ryse: Son of Rome, based on the name I assume it is a hack and slasher, and well I usually like those type of games, but let's be real I'd rather play Dynasty Warriors game over this. This game was in development hell it began in 2006, it eventually made it out in 2013 how weird they had to wait until the new gen just to get this game out to the public. This game doesn't seem in anyway revolutionary, it looks okay, not the worst as I thought it would be, but i'll give it a pass. I can't believe I 'm playing a kinetic game on this console, what i'm I doing to myself? The controls are horrible right off the bat. The only good thing in this game sadly is the graphics they aren't that awful. Other than that it's very unplayable gameplay is not good, controls are ass, and when graphics are the best thing your game has to offer than we have problems here. Alright on more game, and I guess I have to play. God I hate myself, Halo 5 Guardians. What you will see on the cover they have T for teen instead of M for mature, just thought I point that out. If I wasn't already turned off from that rating then diving into the campaign maybe worse than I could imagine. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I mention at the end of Halo 4 Cortana used her life for Chief to get out alive, why is she back in the game? I thought she was suppose to be done, SCREW 343! This is where the story really gets confusing because you learn later on that in a shocking twist Cortana is the antagonist. Her goal is to have Master chief all to herself, she fails to do so, and now we got one more Halo game OH HELL NO! Now the story is getting worse, and worse as predicted. I didn't bother playing the Multiplayer because I figured with Halo 4 it was gonna be more less the same.

Final Thoughts: While it may have some good things (not by much), the system will never be forgiven for it's original purpose as a VCR system for entertainment. As a hardcore gamer I hate that concept. What I like in a system is quality gaming You play consoles like the Old XBOX (the original one), the PS2 (ironically did it right 17 years ago including workings of DVD's). I know this is a poor comparison, but dammit I have to. What is the closest thing this system resembles the Phillips CDI, that itself looks like a VCR, but at least i'm not stupid to tell you that system is WAY! WAY! Worse than the XB1. Overtime I still think it's one of the worst consoles of all time (that is saying a lot), but not the worst. Now they covered up the name with S to make it look less S****y than the name already is, however it is just a poor excuse for using blu ray again ''entertainment purpose.'' This system makes me boil up to 9000! Every time I talk about It drives me insane like i'm a different well you are most certainly right. You on the other hand may like the system, and I will respect you opinion just don't give me asinine reasons like ''oh, but outlaws it's the best console ever'' with logical to back it up. Until next time this is the Angry Outlaw.

Comments

Awesome, Best Angry Outlaw Episode Yet! - VideoGamefan5

Oh that kinetic game I never mentioned was called Fighter within. - htoutlaws2012

The Xbox One sucks. The PS4 is much better. - visitor

Yeah, I picked the Xbox 360 over the PS3 then the PS4 over the Xbox One, so now I can play Gears of War,Uncharted, Halo, Killzone, Forza, and Gran Turismo because I have two different consoles with different exclusives from different franchises. One of my friends got an Xbox One but after finding out about having to be online to play he traded it in to get a PS4. - Skullkid755

You don't even have to be online to play. - Frodomar49

Also, another bad exclusive game You forgot to mention was this infamous wannabe, it's called quantum break, which is a crappy game that unlike infamous you can't have fun with it, but yeah, xb1 can suck through crap, ps4 is better, uncharted, bloodborne, ratchet & clank, littlebigplanet, last of us, god of war, infamous and until dawn for the win - VideoGamefan5

The E3 was really bad. I'll give you that - Frodomar49

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