AlphaQ's Explosions: Trumpet Lights

AlphaQ
Ok. Remember how I despised Birthday Cake and loathed Fortune. Well, here's an edit. The song I'm reviewing is WORSE THAN Birthday Cake AND Stupid Hoe. It's also the worst song on Fortune as well as the worst Chris Brown song. And obviously worse than Baby. Yes. Stupid Hoe isn't so annoying after this song. So here's the song I dread from my bottom of my heart. Trumpet Fa-Lights by Chris Clo-Brown

So the vocals seem not so bad right...? Wrong. This clown's vocals ARE KILLING ME IN THE INSIDE. I CAN'T TAKE IT ITS SO BAD MIGHT AS WELL SH!T MY PANTS. The fact that I listened to this doesn't even help. His lyrics are bland as usual but they don't stand out at all. It's extremely hard to decipher what Chris is saying because the lyrics all drowned in autotune. His vocals are usually bland and generic in other songs and autotune usually ruins his voice, like in Only (which is Anaconda without twerking and with Lil Wayne's boringness). Ugh, none of this is pleasant at all.

The background music NEARLY MURDERED MY BABY COUSIN! Honestly HOLY SH!T. THE SOUNDS ARE RUINING MY HEARiNG !!! I don't even know if it's actual music or not. There's is absolutely no music used in this. Which is weird because the background music is always the Strongest point in an R&B song. Heck, R&B's background music are ALWAYS supposed to be catchy. Yes, there are a few exceptions...but this one...makes me wanna puke. Chris Brown is usually an awful rapper/artist but his songs are can be fun to listen to. That is basically the best part of Chris Brown's music. How catchy the songs can be. Whenever I listen to this I always scream in my mind: "AaAaAAaAaaAaAaAAaAaAaAaAaAaAaaAaAaAaaAaAaHhHhHhHh !!!!" cause of how terrible everything in this stupidity is.

Thankfully, the lyrics aren't so bad or I'll put this in my Top 5 for Worst Songs.

I might have got a seizure form all that cause his nasal stuff ain't helping my ears recover. All Chris Brown did in this song was basically clown around with autotune and make horrendous noises. Bear in mind, I actually enjoy funny noises in songs sometimes as long as they are catchy. This on the other hand, is the opposite of catchy. It did not seem to be fun. Absolutely NOTHING from this "song" is catchy. Yea, it's not even a song. It's just stupid noises and auto tuned farts. I don't know why I even bothered to hear this.
This might be the worst R&B song of all time. That makes this is a -5/5 from me. Also Fortune should be renamed to Autotune. This is atrocious in every way...ugh...I feel numb. Someone hand me that Compton album I want...I wanna hear something pleasant...[2 HOURZ LATER] Welp I'm back...and I'm going..again. This is AlphaQ leaving tha building...again, for some reason.

Comments

Lol. - TheDarkOne_221b

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