Full-fledged List Analysis: Top Ten Stupidest Things to Be Afraid Of

NuMetalManiak It's been quite a while since I did one of these. Let's keep going. What are you afraid of? Should you be afraid of it?

1. Eating: If you're afraid of eating, it sort of depends. If you are afraid of eating things you know are living (not WERE living) it makes sense, but if you hate eating in general than that's a different sort of case.
2. Dogs: No I'm afraid of dogs, because of what happened to me in my childhood. Or at least big dogs.
3. Your Best Friend: They could turn traitor and never be your friend again.
4. Cats: HAHAHAHAHAHA no
5. Your Family: Yeah, because not every family is abuse am I right? Well I'd be afraid of them if they were.
6. Jumpscares: Don't play any games with them then.
7. Mailmen: What for? Potential bills showing up? I'd be afraid of those any day.
8. Blue Man Group: Very specific. What about them that you would be afraid of?
9. Dentist: Only if you are a sweet-lover, because obviously you don't like brushing your teeth. What am I saying? You DO need to brush your teeth every day though.
10. The Dark: To be fair, a lot of activity happens after dark. Criminals are likely to be around, and for those driving, it's harder to see.
11. Ku Klux Klan: The extremists with their ghost outfits were terrifying back then. Nowadays, they are secluded and shouldn't be harming anyone anymore.
12. Fan Made Creepypastas: I agree, paying attention to this crap and getting afraid of stupid things is stupid.
13. God: ATHEISTS
14. Sandwiches: Now that's funny.
15. Bedsheet Ghosts: Also funny. It's just someone pretending.
16. Fan Made Memes: I'd be afraid of them because they are often really bad.
17. Movies: This sort of coincides with the dark when in a theater, but otherwise it's lame. Even horror movies you shouldn't be afraid of.
18. Stickers: Ha
19. Communists: Well, ordinary ones maybe. But dictators clearly do not make everything equal.
20. Terrorists: It's not stupid to be afraid of terrorists. These are people who kill people to make a point.
21. Pop Music: Ew, me hipster me no like radio music me afraid to listen to it.
22. Teen Sitcoms: Ew teenybopper stuff, teen problems are dumb I don't want to deal with that.
23. The Powerpuff Girls: To be fair, they do have some terrifying villains.
24. School: Afraid of dealing with a number of issues in school is legit. No lunch money? Bullies? Dodgeball at PE? Bad grades? Possibilities are endless.
25. Confederates: Go away uber-liberals.
26. Children: What if they are a part of an extremist cult?
27. Mermaids: The actual mermaids in mythology are known to be maneaters. Don't believe everything a Disney movie shows.
28. Insects: Though some insects are venomous and irritating.
29. The "Happy Birthday" Song: I'd actually be scared if the police come to a birthday party saying we cannot use that song due to the fact it is actually copyrighted.
30. Goths: Are usually minding their own business. So mind your own.
31. Talking: Well, you won't have friends then.
32. Ringtones: Just put your phone on vibrate.
33. The Addams Family: Are not real.
34. AIDS: Don't have sex then.
35. The Best Sports Teams: Hahahahaha as if anyone cares about sports on this site.
36. Metal Music: If you are a soccer mom, you are dumb for hating this music.
37. Black People: While it is racist, I should point out a lot of criminals in our area have been uneducated black people who think they can get away without education on moral values. It's actually a problem where I live.
38. Snakes: My mother is afraid of snakes. Good reason too. Most are venomous.
39. Breathing: Well, die.
40. Water: You do realize that 70% of your body is H2O, correct?
41. The Universe: The universe? THE UNIVERSE? So you know that alternate universes don't exist then.
42. Justin Bieber: Of course someone was gonna put him on here. The question is, just how afraid are you of one pop star?
43. Bronies: They actually are both creepy and annoying.
44. Villains: Um, their motives tend to be bad all the time.
45. Kirby: I would LEGIT be afraid of getting swallowed and eaten by this guy.
46. Hatsune Miku: What I would be afraid of is considering this real music.
47. Atoms: Well, everything is comprised of atoms. So you're afraid of everything.
48. Sex: At least you don't have to have it.
49. Santa: He isn't real.
50. Jesus Christ: ATHEISTS
51. Shampoo Ads: They're annoying but not something you should be afraid of.
52. The Tooth Fairy: Whether or not you're talking about the movie with Dwayne Johnson, I don't know.
53. A Luma: Please be more specific.
54. Gravity Falls: I was wondering when people would put their least favorite cartoons here. Good lord, grow up.
55. Gay People: Then you're homophobic and a terrible person.
56. Clowns: Given what has happened in 2016, I wouldn't make any bets.
57. Porn: I'm afraid people would be too ingrained in it to function properly.
58. Big Brother: Afraid of an all-seeing ruler that George Orwell had hypothesized in his famous novel. It makes sense to be afraid of him since all your actions are monitored very VERY closely.
59. Baths: Then no one will like you if you are afraid of baths.
60. Going Outside: Like that one guy from the Benchwarmers movie.
61. Zootopia: Shows, cartoons, music artists. If you are afraid of media then DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO IT.
62. Planets: YOU ARE ON A PLANET YOU DOOFUS.
63. Emos: I'd be afraid if they try to kill themselves, otherwise they are just goths with problems.
64. Fursuits: Don't wear one, don't pay attention to those who wear one.
65. Quarks: And it's even smaller than atoms, too.
66. Beauty and the Beast: I'm afraid of stupidity in the Disney fanbase.
67. Pregnant Women: If you were a married man who has no idea how to handle your wife being pregnant, I can understand this.
68. Kerbal Space Program: It's a frickin' game.
69. SimCity: Why are simulation games on here.
70. Minecraft: Though this one has a terrible fanbase.
71. Roblox: This one too.
72. The Rowdyruff Boys: A specific group of characters in the Powerpuff Girls cartoon. They aren't even what I was talking about when I said terrifying villains.
73. Windows XP: It's got a memorable startup sound.
74. Windows 7: But this one doesn't. Stupid hipsters, please go somewhere else with your crappy Macintoshes.
75. Talking Tom: Okay that face is creepy.
76. Looking: Then gouge your eyes out and be blind. Oh wait, I have a fear of that because how will you perceive anything?
77. Talking Angela: -_-
78. Boys Who Pull Their Pants Down All the Way at the Urinal: Being afraid of that is dumb. Laughing at that is dumber. But these people need potty training.
79. Donkeys: They crap a lot.
80. Horses: They also crap a lot.
81. Pets: Then don't get one.
82. Clapperboards: The sound is annoying but not something to fear.
83. Poop: I'd be afraid if someone was coprophiliac enough to try to use it as a weapon.
84. Tree Frogs: I know some varieties are so poisonous that one touch kills you in seconds, so it may not be that stupid.
85. Food: This ties in with #1.
86. Ronald McDonald: Well, he is a clown. Don't eat at McDonalds then.
87. Transformers: I'm afraid of Michael Bay ruining the series! We need a reboot! Bleh.
88. Garden Gnomes: Well they are creepy, but they aren't like murder dolls or anything.
89. Emojis: Don't use them on a phone then.
90. Airplanes: There is always a substantial fear that once in a blue moon, a plane you are on crashes and no one lives.
91. Apple: Some fear that people are zombies and will spend everything on their products.
92. Microsoft: Apple fans fear them, I bet.
93. Bacteria: Most are good.
94. Viruses: Most are bad, so it's fine to be afraid of them.
95. Particles that Have Been Found to Scatter Dramatically in the Upper Atmosphere According to Fixed Frequencies: WAY TOO SPECIFIC.
96. Aliens: Chances are they aren't friendly.
97. Science: Encompasses a whole lot of things. So you are afraid of everything.
98. Math: Also encompasses a whole lot of things. So you are afraid of everything.
99. Ice Cream: THEN DON'T EAT IT.
100. Ted Cruz: He is not the zodiac killer.
101. Pushchairs: Don't sit in one then.
102. Alarms: Don't use one. Use your own judgment when waking up and you won't be late.
103. Commercials: Mute, or otherwise turn the TV/radio off if/when they show up then.
104. Heights: Legit fear.
105. Toasters: I would have a fear of them if they don't work properly and they actually cause a fire.
106. Spoons: Hah, no.

Bottom line: Don't fear stupid things, people, but note that some stupid things can be legitimately feared because of potential implications of them.

Comments

53 refers to Super Mario - visitor (9/14/2018)

Pies should be #1 - iliekpiez (9/14/2018)

You should do one on Worst websites if you haven't already - B1ueNew (9/18/2018)

Christ what a bad list. I can see why someone would be afraid of the dentist - iliekpiez (10/6/2018)

Those who aren't afraid of dogs obviously have never seen Cujo. I'm just saying that's all. - visitor (10/23/2018)