Top 10 Best Seinfeld Episodes
No hugging. No learning. Just some of the sharpest, pettiest, and most perfectly executed nonsense ever aired on television.
Seinfeld didn't just change sitcoms. It gleefully dismantled the idea that a show needed to go anywhere or mean anything. One minute it's about not masturbating, the next it's about soup that's too good for you. And yet, here you are, trying to decide which of these absurd adventures deserves the crown.
Maybe you're a fan of George lying his way into fake careers. Maybe you can quote the Soup Nazi word for word without flinching. Maybe you just want to give some love to the low-key brilliance of a puffy shirt or a Junior Mint. Whatever your reason, it's time to vote.
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The Soup Nazi
Jerry and his friends frequent a soup stand run by a temperamental chef with strict ordering rules. Elaine gets banned while George is cut off after minor infractions. Jerry tries to keep his relationship with the chef cordial for the sake of soup access.
I've probably seen every episode of Seinfeld, and this has to be the best! Whenever I think of Seinfeld, I think of No soup for you! This is probably the most iconic episode. If you haven't seen this episode or don't like it, then you don't know true comedy! I'm a 13-year-old male, and I still think that Seinfeld is definitely my favorite TV show of all time!
You cannot go one solid month or year without someone saying, "No soup for you!" This is what makes this episode a classic!
I love this episode. It is so funny. It is probably one of the most quotable episodes as well. "No soup for you."
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The Contest
George bets Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer that he can go the longest without masturbating. Each of them struggles with temptation after the wager. The group's resolve crumbles one by one.
Yes, this is the best Seinfeld episode. Absolute genius. To take such a taboo subject and handle it in such a tasteful yet hilarious way is remarkable. The brilliant writing of Larry David, with situations like the curtain in the hospital room, the "treating his body like an amusement park," the wager in the diner, Kramer's "I'm out!," and so many other parts make this the most original and absolutely number one episode.
Actually, any episode that dealt with sex or had an alternate storyline about sex is the best. Never ever saying the word and only through innuendo, subtext, and images, they were able to stroll past the censors and have fun at the same time. Best use of the medium for a still uptight and Puritanical American society. Simply brilliant.
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The Bubble Boy
Jerry agrees to visit a boy with an immune disorder who lives in a plastic enclosure. George and Susan arrive first and get into an argument over a Trivial Pursuit answer. The boy's enclosure is damaged during the confrontation.
What a funny episode. I thought that it was so funny when George and Susan were playing Trivial Pursuit with the bubble boy and he was being mean to them. I can't believe that at the end of the episode, Kramer burned down the cabin.
One of the best episodes of any show ever!
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The Opposite
George decides to act opposite of his instincts and starts experiencing success. Elaine suffers a downturn in her personal and professional life. Jerry remains unaffected, noting that everything balances out for him.
If I have to choose only one Seinfeld, it would be this episode. George's performance is exceptional.
Best clip ever when George is in the movie theatre!
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The Marine Biologist
George pretends to be a marine biologist to impress a woman. Kramer accidentally hits golf balls into the ocean. George saves a beached whale by extracting one of Kramer's balls from its blowhole.
The sea was angry that day, my friends... Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli.
"Is anyone here a marine biologist?"
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The Parking Garage
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer search for their car in a multi-level parking garage. Each faces personal setbacks, including a lost fish and an urgent need to urinate. After hours of searching, they find the car, but it will not start.
One of the best episodes of Seinfeld. I like how there was bathroom humor in this episode. The episode also has some of the best quotes and memorable scenes that the show has had. Definitely one of my top 5 favorite episodes.
It has to be one of the best TV moments in history. It is one of those episodes that you'll never forget. Like the Chinese restaurant. You can watch it over and over and it never gets old.
(Episode 23, Season 3)
"You know, I've been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place."
- Jerry
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The Boyfriend
Jerry befriends former Mets player Keith Hernandez. Elaine dates Hernandez, leading to friction. George pretends to be unemployed and living with his parents to avoid dating complications.
Absolutely the best episode, as it was one hour jam-packed full of clever writing and antics. It included Newman and others as well.
And you want to be my latex salesman?
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The Sniffing Accountant
Jerry, George, and Kramer suspect their accountant is using drugs. They conduct an undercover investigation at a bar. Elaine dates a writer who refuses to use exclamation points.
Here's to feeling good all the time.
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The Hamptons
The group visits a beach house in the Hamptons. George gets embarrassed after being seen naked post-swim. Jerry's girlfriend goes topless, and Kramer steals lobsters.
"Significant shrinkage!"
"She thinks that it's not all that it could be when it's all that it could be and more!"
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The Butter Shave
Kramer uses butter as a shaving cream and gets a tan, leading to issues with Newman. George returns to work using a cane and is mistaken for being disabled. Jerry is frustrated because Kenny Bania's act is successful only because he follows Jerry's set.
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The Mom & Pop Store
George buys a car he thinks once belonged to Jon Voight. Jerry tries to support a small shoe repair shop that ends up closing. Elaine helps her boss win a spot in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Love this one. "Drivin' around in Jon Voight's car," "There's Barbara Mandrell's skateboard," and "Sometimes I spell Jerry with a G."
Jerry wears cowboy boots, Elaine wins her boss a spot holding a rope under the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Macy's parade, Jerry pops Woody Woodpecker, and Mom & Pop sell Jerry's shoes!
I just don't get why Kramer is getting nosebleeds. That part was weird.
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The Barber
Jerry is unsure if he's been given a proper haircut and tries visiting a different barber. George takes a new job without knowing what he's supposed to do. Newman helps uncover Jerry's barber betrayal.
One of the funniest episodes that will keep you laughing the whole time.
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The Gum
Kramer tries to reconnect his friend Lloyd Braun with society through a theater project. George becomes obsessed with proving he is not crazy. Elaine suffers a wardrobe malfunction that gives Lloyd the wrong impression.
George appears to be losing his mind because of Lloyd Braun and the woman on the horse. Hilarious.
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The Junior Mint
Jerry can't remember the name of his girlfriend, which rhymes with a female body part. Kramer and Jerry observe a surgery and accidentally drop a Junior Mint into the patient. The patient miraculously recovers after the incident.
Funniest episode ever. Iconic. Classic.
"How can you turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious! It's very refreshing!"
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The Serenity Now
Frank Costanza uses the phrase "serenity now" as a stress release method. George competes with his childhood rival to sell computers for his father. Kramer installs a screen door and starts behaving as if he is living in suburbia.
Kramer goes in and he's like, "Don't worry, Jerry, there is always next spring. Now if you'll excuse me... SERENITY NOW!"
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The Apology
George demands an apology from a man in recovery who wronged him. Kramer adopts a policy of living in his shower. Elaine struggles with a coworker's intense germophobia.
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The Dealership
Jerry tries to buy a car from Puddy, who is now dating Elaine again. Kramer takes a test drive to determine gas mileage limits. George becomes obsessed with a vending machine malfunction.
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The Puffy Shirt
Jerry unwittingly agrees to wear a puffy pirate-style shirt on national television. Elaine and Kramer encourage a low-talking designer friend. The appearance results in public embarrassment for Jerry.
Come on, people. This episode has the awesome scenes with George living with his parents and becoming a hand model, the low talker, and the puffy shirt on the Today Show.
Quotes include:
Jerry: "But I don't want to be a pirate."
George's Mom: "GEORGE LIKES THE BANANAS."
Elaine: "You're supposed to look like a compassionate person... you look like you're going to swing in on a chandelier."
Kramer: "I just can't be with someone whose life is in complete disarray."
George's Dad: "I used to have a silver dollar collection."
George: "Don't worry... I won a contest."
Jerry: "People were yelling out 'A vast Ye Matie,' what the hell does that mean?"
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The Comeback
George is embarrassed by a coworker's insult and obsesses over delivering a perfect comeback. Jerry discovers his tennis pro is actually a terrible player. Elaine dates a video store employee who is obsessed with high-brow films.
If you don't vote for this, then the jerk store just called for you. The way in which the "other side of midnight" plotline was weaved into the "comeback" plotline at the end was very nice. The first time I saw it, I about busted a gut when the guy said, "His wife's in a coma."
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The Yada Yada
Elaine's friend uses "yada yada" to skip important story details. George's girlfriend may be glossing over serious issues. Jerry suspects his dentist converted to Judaism for the jokes.
"My ex-boyfriend came over last night and yada yada, I am very tired today."
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The Drake
Jerry and his friends attend a party for a couple they refer to as "The Drake." After a breakup, the group quickly turns against him. The episode centers around the group's attempt to return a wedding gift.
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The Rye
George's parents bring a marble rye to a dinner and take it back home. George and Jerry try to replace the loaf covertly. Kramer drives a hansom cab using questionable horse food.
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The Bris
Jerry and Elaine agree to be godparents and must plan a bris for their friends' baby. Kramer objects to the procedure and believes a hospital conspiracy is at play. George struggles to find a parking spot and deals with a damage claim after a man lands on his car.
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The Summer of George
George is given three months of severance pay and plans to spend the Summer of George relaxing. Elaine deals with backlash from her coworkers after mocking Raquel Welch. Kramer injures himself after working as a seat filler at the Tony Awards.
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The Pen
Jerry and Elaine visit his parents in Florida. Jerry accepts a special pen from a neighbor, sparking tension. Elaine suffers from back pain and takes muscle relaxants.
A hugely underrated episode. Jerry's parents are painfully funny, as well as Jack Clompus and the rest of the Phase 2 residents. STELLA!
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The Little Kicks
Elaine's dancing at a work party embarrasses her staff and friends. George pretends to be a bad seed to impress a woman. Jerry is coerced into bootlegging a movie for a friend of Kramer's.
Frank and Elaine's fight, that's all I have to say!
(Episode 138, Season 8)
"It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music."
- George, about Elaine's dancing in The Little Kicks
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The Chicken Roaster
A Kenny Rogers Roasters opens across from Kramer's apartment with a bright red neon sign. Kramer and Jerry temporarily switch apartments. Newman becomes obsessed with the chicken.
Love this one. A completely underrated gem.
I don't know that this is my favorite episode (I like "The Soup Nazi," "The Little Jerry," and a few more too), but I remember laughing out loud at the end when Kramer shouted, "Kenny's!"