Top Ten Asinine Ways to Attempt to Create a Utopian Society

It's an unlikely thing that a lot of us wish for, but that doesn't mean we can't try. But to try like this would indeed be asinine, as the title says.
The Top Ten
1 Pass a worldwide law stating that everyone has to have the part of their brains that induces hate destroyed

No! We shall live in a society of hate and negativity, with positivity to balance it out.

The only problem is psychopaths. They do bad things without having to hate something.

2 Disguise yourself as Jesus and clone yourself enough times so you can appear everywhere in the world and watch that people don't go out of line

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son (and a bunch of clones) so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

3 Start a galactic empire and invade every other planet for practically unlimited resources
4 Fill the oceans with serotonin re-uptake blockers to eliminate depression and other health problems, making the world happier

As the fellow visitor said below, this is a flawed idea.

Except in cases in the Middle East where they do active desalination, it is too expensive in the rest of the world. No drinking water comes directly from the oceans. The chemicals you dumped in the oceans would be left behind with the salt and other pollutants when the water re-entered the atmosphere during evaporation and storms.

While all water is connected as you say, it's a matter of where the human drinking water fits into the chain. If you were to add the chemicals upstream, say by sprinkling it in the mountains or salting the clouds with it to produce storms, the chemicals would largely stay in the water supply to be gathered in reservoirs and storage facilities. Though I'd imagine they would be mostly filtered out during the cleaning process. That's why chemicals like fluoride are added to the water supply only one hop above hitting the public water supply and your tap.

5 Get TheTopTens admins to rule the world

And implement their policies on everyone in the world!

"Imagine": A world full of mindless lemmings following each other over a cliff.

Imagine: a world where nobody is to criticize or mention each other's name in vain.

6 Break the Second Law of Thermodynamics

Do that, and you can obtain free energy from everything, and thus do anything for anyone. Only one small problem: you cannot break the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

7 Pass a worldwide law making everyone say the word "bollocks" in every sentence, to keep up morale by being so amusing.

Refusal to use this word in any sentence shall be punishable by bollocks.

Don't you hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it bollocks?

8 Hack into all government computers and erase all proof that there are problems with the world, and so there are officially none
9 Voluntarily submerge the entire Amazon Rainforest, and go forward in time millions of years to when they have formed a practically endless supply of resources

Fossil fuels take millions of years to form, and they end up further and further underground, so you might as well get a TARDIS and a new crop!

10 Start random peace movements with no apparent purpose until everyone gets the general theme

This might actually get some people to stop fighting.

The Contenders
11 Make everybody have no gender.
12 Communism

You have to make every man willing to conform to communist principles, or this wouldn't work. Yes, this would work on a small scale, but obviously, a good chunk of the global population won't follow the agenda knowing people are greedy and competitive by nature. There is no such thing as a utopian society when the incentive of competing is taken away, and having a lack of incentive or urgency means lower standards of living.

Communism is not a way to a utopian society. Communism is a utopian society, and a utopian society is communism. They are one and the same.

13 Make all men have vagina and all ladies have penis

No thanks. I don't like the idea of menstruation.

14 Have a revelation of the true religion
15 Have everybody kiss each other
16 Create a isolated individual utopia for each person
17 People can only use their hands and a spoon for cooking and eating
18 Have Positron keep his bacon sandwich
19 Fascism
20 Kill everyone who is bad
21 Make Three Lions the national anthem
22 Turn all of television into preschool shows
23 Force people to only listen to nursery rhymes
24 Force atheists to become Christian
25 Remove time and years
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