What Am I Doing?

letdot52 He wakes up and gets out of bed. He’s so stressed out from the day before so he goes in the bathroom and locks the door. He’s only 12 years old but porn got its hold on him. He’s so caught up with his desire that he doesn’t try to fight it anymore. He tries to relieve himself of the stress by doing the same thing he does every day without hesitation, because he doesn’t care anymore. It doesn’t help but he gets caught in the moment. He looks himself in the mirror and asks himself,

What am I doing?

It’s like he knows he shouldn’t and he feels bad about it, but he can’t stop. He doesn’t have what it takes to fight it, so he just lives with his shame and guilt. He walks into the kitchen and sees his mother on the phone again. She’s all alone trying to pay the bills but she doesn’t have the money. She could of payed for food but she needed a smoke, or at least that’s her excuse. She asks herself the same question every morning,
What am I doing?
According to her, it’s too late. She’s so addicted to smoking that she can’t kick it, so she hangs up the phone and goes to her bedroom to get some sleep. First she decides to wake up her daughter who is already awake and is choosing which skimpy outfit she should wear when she sneaks out to see her boyfriend that night. The mom goes into her room to rest and the daughter didn’t even notice she was there. She thinks she found real love so she doesn’t even stop to think,

What am I doing?

That night she jumps out of her window to go see this guy she’s so hung up on. She’s on her way to their usual spot, but she gets so caught up in thinking of what they’ll be doing together that she doesn’t see the truck coming down the road at 60 mph. Her boyfriend is sitting on a bench and doesn’t even know that she won’t be showing up. He gets so mad that she skipped out on him that he takes the 30 dollars in his back pocket and goes into the bar across the street. He sits down in the bar and asks for a beer, and then another, and when he’s drinking his third beer, a woman comes up next to him and asks him if he’s looking for a good time. He knows he shouldn’t say yes, but he feels hurt and thinks that she can make him feel better. He doesn’t even stop for a minute to ask himself,

What am I doing?

She takes him to her place and tells him to wait on the bed while she gets ready in the bathroom. Unlike the others, I guess she knows what she’s doing. If she didn’t then she wouldn’t have a bottle of condoms on her top shelf. She knows, but she doesn’t care. It’s like knowing the answer and getting the question wrong anyway.

Comments

Wow did that really happen😞 - 2storm (7/12/2015)

No. This is all made up. I made it up myself. I just thought that it reflects well on real life subjects that people tend to ignore. - letdot52 (7/12/2015)

Oh ok - 2storm (7/17/2015)

Only time will tell how bad porn is screwing is up. - visitor (7/13/2015)

That was so…emotional. Your posts are beautiful letdot. They touch up on issues like never before. You are truly gifted. - BlueTopazIceVanilla (10/5/2015)