Top 10 Reasons Hair Metal is a Poser Metal Subgenre
Think metalcore or deathcore is ruining metal? Think again. Hair metal bands got the job done first!
Here are the reasons why.
-
Hair metal bands have the most ridiculous image
You think modern metalcore/deathcore makes metal look "gay" or "girly"? Okay then. Let's have a look at Mötley Crüe, Twisted Sister, Jackyl, Cinderella - any hair metal band. A bunch of dudes with girly hair, wearing girly makeup and girly clothes. Gee, I've seen emo kids cross-dress better than freaks like Dee Snider.
True. I am tired of metal elitists hating on Nu Metal and Metalcore, which are awesome genres and much better than "real metal" and Glam Metal. Nu Metal is great. I'm not that into Metalcore, but I like it, and it's better than Glam Metal. Glam Metal is just some cheesy men looking like girls by making their hair girly and singing with cheesy lyrics.
-DarkBoi-X
-
Hair metal bands aren't actually heavy
Agreed. Hair metal and glam metal are without a doubt the worst metal subgenres. They are the only subgenres I dislike.
Hair metal does not work well as a metal subgenre, but it can be lit compared to most pop-rock bands.
Glam Metal is pop (repetitive catchy choruses and all) in disguise.
-
Hair metal bands have lyrics that are all the same
No wonder they were mainstream in the '80s. Like mainstream radio pop today, hair metal band lyrics were the same thing over and over again. "Woo-hoo, let's rock 'n' roll!" Oh, come on now, the '80s are over.
All the songs sound like the cheesiest '80s pop music, and all they sing about is how they get girls. -DarkBoi-X
Iron Maiden lyrics: "They summoned me over to join in to the dead of the dead. Into the circle I followed them. Into the middle, I was led."
Mötley Crüe lyrics: "Girls, girls, girls - long legs and burgundy lips, girls down on Sunset Strip, girls, red lips, fingertips."
-
Hair metal bands only play for money
You know what? Stop calling yourself metal. Just stop. Now, leave the word "hair" in your name, but add the word "pop" onto that. We only need to take away your makeup for you to be another Backstreet Boys ripoff. And NO, that's not a good thing.
Who cares if they play for money? They still make music.
The image on this item is something!
-
Hair metal bands have music and lyrical themes that are not metal
First, 99% of their songs are based on blues and not on classical music, which immediately speaks hard rock - not metal. For that reason, AC/DC, GNR, and Led Zeppelin were labeled as hard rock and not metal. How about Poison then?
Second, metal doesn't focus on having fun. So hair "metal" lyrics also fall into typical hard rock lyrical themes.
Metal and hair/glam are opposites. The term "hair/glam metal" bears logical and musical contradictions. It's a misconception, and it's time to admit those bands are not metal from any viewpoint. By calling themselves "metal," they only gave metal a bad name.
Out of all the items on this list, this one should be number 1. I agree most hair metal songs aren't metal. They are hard rock songs (however, there are some metal songs by hair metal bands, though those are few).
But let's be honest, hair metal at its worst is just mediocre. Other "bad" metal genres at their worst are near unbearable (metalcore, nu metal).
-
Hair metal bands have members who are obnoxious
Especially the singers. I'd rather be locked in a room with One Direction than have to deal with Nikki Sixx's huge ego. I'd prefer neither option, but at least with 1D, I would have the chance to punch Harry Styles in the face.
-
Hair metal bands have too many fangirls
When Bring Me The Horizon wanted fangirls, they looked to hair metal bands for advice.
-
Hair metal bands have annoying singing voices
And you think you're even remotely screaming? No, you're just annoying. Even Kellin Quinn would have a heart attack listening to you sing.
-
Hair metal bands think they're shocking when they're really just stupid
Would you say the same about Ozzy Osbourne, Alice Cooper, Misfits, and maybe even Slayer to some extent? You know, bands that are considered "shocking," even though there are scarier bands out there.
They're nowhere near as shocking as acts like Rammstein and Marilyn Manson.
-
Hair metal bands have no musical skill
They have some skills because they can play music. But in general, their skills don't meet metal standards, which are higher. Compare '80s Metallica and Iron Maiden with Poison and Mötley Crüe - you will get the picture.
By the way, I don't think Guns N' Roses are hair metal - they are a heavier version of hard rock, and their music isn't that poppy for the most part, though their looks are similar to the hair metal looks.
Every band has talent - even bands like Black Veil Brides - because at least they play instruments.
The only talentless musicians are ones like Silento, Soulja Boy, Zay Hilfiger, etc., who make stupid dance songs that you can write in 5 minutes with little effort.
-
Hair metal bands are precursors of nu-metal, metalcore, and all mallcore music
What? First of all, nu-metal was inspired by grunge and Pantera, and metalcore was inspired by Pantera and Converge.
Moreover, I don't get why there's so much hate towards these genres.
Don't blame 80s bands for metalcore and nu-metal. In fact, most third-wave bands got their influence from Pantera.