Worst Metal Albums

1. Lulu - Metallica and Lou Reed

   

   Definitely, this is the worst "metal" album ever made. Lou Reed sounds like a living death (well, technically, he is). James' and Kirk's riffs are repetitive, motoric, and simply boring. Lars' drums are simple (not as bad as on "St. Anger," but close enough), and you basically don't hear a lot of Rob's bass lines.

   Don't get me wrong - I like Metallica (I even used to love them for some time), but this is literally crap. You can listen to "St. Anger" without hitting a wall with your head. Here, you cannot.

   This piece of junk should be banned and forgotten, forever!

   I listened to parts of The View. It was NOT good. It was REALLY bad. This... this is NOT Metallica! This is Lou Reed (bad vocals), and Metallica was just a featured artist (probably not true, this is just me cringing). AH

   Update: I found out that Metallica's role for this album was only with music composition. The lyrics, as well as compositions, were done by Lou Reed. No wonder the song titles don't sound like Metallica songs.

2. St. Anger - Metallica

   

   I'm sorry, but this album is just plain bad. The songs are way too long and repetitive, and the vocals are done very poorly. I don't know what James was thinking when this album was made because apparently, Bob Rock had nothing to do with it.

   Not to mention the drums. Lars literally sounds like he walked into the kitchen and started bashing on random pots and pans like a bloody two-year-old. Sorry, Lars, but in the year 2003, you should have just stuck to playing tennis!

   I only like two songs, which are Frantic and St. Anger. Invisible Kid and the others are the worst, well, I don't know. But you're right, Lulu is the worst album. I get it, it's a little too bland, but I think the trash can snare is a clever idea because it reminds me of that red drum snare from my grandparents' house.

   Frantic's riff sounds more like a distorted synthesizer. No wonder it's nu-metal.

3. Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water - Limp Bizkit

   

   Limp Bizkit is a stain on metal as a genre. All their albums and songs are terrible, but this has to be the worst thing that has ever been put out in music history.

   I would literally take any album in any genre of music (yes, that includes the Lou Reed album Lulu, which isn't a Metallica album by the way, Midnight Memories by One Direction, and probably the worst of them all, Epic by BOTDF) over this disgrace. Hell, I'd take any album on Earth over any of Limp Bizkit's albums.

   Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water has one thing going for it, and that is the meme that is Rollin'. I don't mean the song. I mean the part where he says Rollin'. The song is garbage, maybe the worst on the album.

   I don't think any song will ever top Break Stuff on a list of worst songs of all time though, except maybe Gucci Gang by Lil Pump. That is... no... just no. Oh, and I like how Limp Bizkit's most popular albums are the worst and are all in the top 20s on this list.

4. Illud Divinum Insanus - Morbid Angel

   

   My version of metal hell would be listening to this and St. Anger back to back for all eternity.

   Biggest slap in the face in death metal. This album is beyond horrible.

   My review for this "thing" translates to the last four words of its title.

5. Smells Like Children - Marilyn Manson

   

   Worst album title ever. Although I guess Cannibal Corpse titles are arguably terrible too, but not to this extent. Also, Psychosexual's album should be in the top 10, not gonna lie.

   One of the worst albums in general, not just metal. It should be labeled as "non-music." Just that one famous cover of "Sweet Dreams." How good is it really? I prefer the original.

6. Metal Magic - Pantera

   

   The quality was the worst of all Pantera albums in the glam metal era. Nobody loved the Terry Glaze era since Phil put Pantera on the groove.

7. Significant Other - Limp Bizkit

   

   All their albums suck. Disgrace to metal music.

8. Results May Vary - Limp Bizkit

   

   How is Slipknot (of all bands) ahead of this?! Better yet, how is this album behind Significant Other and Chocolate Starfish (which were also not that good. At least they were much better than this, though)?

   This album is quite possibly the bottom of the barrel for music in general, and that's saying a lot, especially given how most tracks aren't even bottom of the barrel - they're the grime under it. Disgraceful.

9. Eat Me, Drink Me - Marilyn Manson

   

10. About that Life - Attila

    
The Newcomers
11. ?

    Torch the Faith - Psychosexual

    

    Lazy songwriting, vocals that sound like Jeremy Spencer has a cold or something, and lyrics that frame sexual assault and other heinous crimes toward women as sexy in a pleasurable way.

    This album gets a negative 10 out of positive 10. It deserves to be #1 on this list and is, in my opinion, the worst album ever made. I'd rather listen to Richard Benson - at least he doesn't put damaging messages into the world through his music.

    Pretty surprised this isn't higher up. There are plenty of albums above this one (some by Iron Maiden, Metallica, and the like) that may not be the best metal albums out there, but at least they're somewhat meritable musically.

    This, on the other hand, is so juvenile and unlistenable that saying this is how a Satanic metal band would be portrayed in LazyTown would be vile slander to LazyTown.

12. ?

    Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine

    

    Some people might call me conservative for saying this, but this album is totally overrated. People obey it like a praying mantis.

    Some liberal views aren't bad, but there's a cult among the left that worships this group. Korn - Follow the Leader was on this list, and that wasn't a bad album at all.

The Contenders

13. Recharged - Linkin Park

    

14. Slipknot - Slipknot

    

    Corey's voice sounds like a little girl. Stupid poser.

    Worst metal album ever. Period.

15. Risk - Megadeth

    

    Worse than Lulu. At least Lulu didn't have pop beats.

    Just plain weird. It's worse than St. Anger.

16. Forbidden - Black Sabbath

    

17. Catharsis - Machine Head

    

    Freeze! By the name of the law of music, this album is under arrest.

18. Roots - Sepultura

    

    From beautiful thrash melody and rhythm to that primitivism. The beginning of the end of Sepultura.

19. Re-Load - Metallica

    

    Metallica peaked in the 1980s, and while they were always heading downhill, they went into hyperspeed straight to suck on this one. Cutting their hair was irrelevant, but smearing on makeup and whining like a bunch of queens ruined this band for me.

    My first impression when I meet a Metallica fan is that they don't know very much about music.

    Load is a great album, and they thought it would get more popular by just releasing Reload. This album is just a mess.

    When you're one of the biggest thrash bands and then turn around and release dad rock, be ready for a riot.

20. Load - Metallica

    

    This album sucked. The Black Album was okay. It sounded like they were trying to slow it down and be more moody like Sabbath. After that, they seemed to be trying to suck like Linda Lovelace. They have succeeded. If Cliff Burton had lived, he would have left this band long ago.

21. Prototype - Celtic Frost

22. The Wrong Side of Heaven and the Righteous Side of Hell, Volume 2 - Five Finger Death Punch

    

    This album was atrocious. When Battle Born is the single, you know you have a problem.

23. Dedicated to Chaos - Queensrÿche

24. The Unspoken King - Cryptopsy

    

25. Suicide Silence - Suicide Silence

    

26. A Matter of Life and Death - Iron Maiden

    

    This isn't even the worst Iron Maiden album! Sure, it's overrated, but at least half the tracks on this album are pretty damn great, although I admit that songs like BTATS and TLD are some of their worst and most boring songs.

    In my opinion, most songs are being "epic" for the sake of being epic.

27. Sounding the Seventh Trumpet - Avenged Sevenfold

    

    I haven't listened to it, but based on the songs I have heard by this awful poser band, it must be terrible.

    Get this trash to number 1, please. This is worse than all the albums in the top 10 combined.