Cartoon Crapisodes Rant: Episode 6 - Are You Happy Now?

ModernSpongeBobSucks The quote I would use to describe how bad this episode is would be, "Where am I, in Crazytown? I have had enough of this nonsense!" - King Neptune from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Yup, that fits just about right. Anyways, the episode Are You Happy Now? was made in Season 8 and was written by Luke Brookshier, Marc Ceccarelli, and Dani Michaeli. At this point in time, I'm growing kind of tiresome at criticizing the writers. However, I'm not the type of person who's just going to be lazy when writing reviews. Each of these writers may not have written a lot of bad episodes, but they still have written at least one of them on SpongeBob SquarePants. Luke Brookshier? He wrote Cephalopod Lodge. Check. Marc Ceccarelli? He wrote Demolition Doofus. Check. Dani Michaeli? He wrote Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful. Check AND double check. Fortunately, I did a little more research and it seems they have actually written more good episodes on the show more than bad episodes, so I don't think they're that bad. Welcome, happy people of TheTopTens. This is ModernSpongeBobSucks here, and today, we're analyzing a particularly... depressing episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. Considering many people consider this to be based off a creepypasta about Squidward, that just makes this episode all the more depressing. Oh Lord... oh Lord... give me the strength... to not give this steaming pile of crap any mercy from me! Just writing about this episode makes me feel under the weather, so I just wanna get the plot over with and get straight to the rant while I still have some ranting energy in me. However, let's go over one thing first...

Remember that creepypasta about Squidward that I mentioned earlier? The creepypasta that inspired this episode was called Squidward's Suicide, which proposed that there was a lost episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where Squidward commits suicide. The alleged lost episode is described as having "strange and upsetting noises in the background" and "quick flashes of dead children and gore". A video of the creepypasta was once uploaded to YouTube, but was immediately taken down. One of the show's writers Casey Alexander has debunked this creepypasta, stating that it was "100% hoax". Alright, so even if the creepypasta was a complete hoax, what's scary is how strangely similar it is to this episode in terms of Squidward's suicidal behavior...*Gulps* I think I'm gonna hurl...

That said, the episode first takes flight at the Krusty Krab, where... Patrick is seen climbing out of a dumpster and eating a Krabby Patty? Uh... Moving on, the episode then cuts to SpongeBob reading the "Krusty Krab Schedule" book, with Squidward being annoyed at SpongeBob for reading it. SpongeBob says to Squidward that the book contains all of "his happiest memories", when Squidward then takes the book and "accidentally" drops it on the grill. Fortunately, SpongeBob reveals he has multiple copies of them and gets another copy from a cabinet. SpongeBob asks Squidward if he has a happiest memory, to which Squidward replies with, "No." Uh, what about Band Geeks?! Once again, it's another case of lack of continuity in the house. Having some concern for Squidward, after a brief sobbing scene, SpongeBob decides to help Squidward find a happiest memory, with Squidward agreeing to let SpongeBob do just that.

SpongeBob first takes Squidward to a concert, which doesn't go well due to a violinist accidentally shooting Squidward right in the eye with a violin bow. With that having failed, SpongeBob then takes Squidward to the Bikini Bottom Museum, where one of Squidward's sculptures is being displayed and praised by critics. Unfortunately, this is all ruined by that art critic Fiasco (who also happened to appear in a previous episode named Fiasco!) when he burns Squidward's sculpture with a flamethrower and takes ownership of it... I really want to grind that fish into chum RIGHT NOW! Anyways, SpongeBob tries one last attempt to make Squidward happy by taking him on a balloon ride. It seems Squidward is enjoying the view from high in the sky... until it is revealed that he is afraid of heights (um, why didn't Squidward just tell SpongeBob that he was afraid of heights before going on the balloon? That's a clear plot hole there). Since the balloon has no heater to use to deflate the balloon, SpongeBob uses a needle to pop the balloon, which results in them flying haphazardly until they hit the summit of Mount Bikini, where Harold is seen almost reaching it and becomes frustrated that they reached the summit first and ruined his chance of being the first person to reach the top of Mount Bikini. Harold gives them a flag for them to mount in his place, where SpongeBob then foolishly mounts the flag right on Squidward's foot by accident (this isn't funny like when Patrick tried to make Squidward firmly grasp his jellyfishing net in Jellyfishing). An avalanche then occurs and engulfs SpongeBob, Squidward, and Harold as SpongeBob and Squidward slide back to their houses. Squidward then gives up and says that he will never have a happiest memory. He proceeds to go to sleep by rolling himself up in his bed blanket and going under his bed.

Two weeks later, it is shown that Squidward is severely depressed inside his house. SpongeBob becomes more concerned about Squidward's unhappiness as he tries to contact him. Now the only moment I found funny in this episode was when SpongeBob tried to call Squidward, where Squidward then throws his telephone out of his house and into SpongeBob's house, where Gary then gives SpongeBob the telephone he was calling with his telephone and talks into it, which causes an ear-splitting echo that hurts SpongeBob's ears and makes him have a somewhat funny face. Yeah, that's pretty much all I can name after watching a few glimpses of this episode again. With that being said, then we see two scenes where Squidward seems to be putting his head into an oven to burn himself alive when he then pulls out brownies and where Squidward seems to be hanging some rope that looks like an attempt to hang himself when it turns out to be him just hanging a birdcage for a pet clam, which then spits on him and flies away as the birdcage crashes on him. Now do you want to know what I just suggested those two scenes might be just now? Those two scenes were suicide references! Yes, not just one suicide reference, but two of them! I know there were also suicide jokes in Dunces and Dragons and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV, but at least they were probably overlooked since the rest of the episodes were good and didn't focus on someone being depressed! Wow, I don't want to be acting like the YouTuber TheMysteriousMrEnter now, but I don't really think a serious issue like suicide should be referenced and joked about on a Nickelodeon show, especially one aimed at kids. Getting back to the topic at hand, SpongeBob tries to fax himself to Squidward, only to be shredded by him and having his shredded pieces scattered out of Squidward's window. SpongeBob finally resorts to kidnapping Squidward by cleverly disguising himself as an empty cardboard box and then popping out of it with another empty cardboard box to trap Squidward in it. SpongeBob then takes him right to the Krusty Krab, where he claims that he tried to set up a party to cheer Squidward up. However, since nobody came to the party, SpongeBob made 100 paper-mâché life-sized versions of himself. Fed up with SpongeBob and being even more fed up due to seeing multiple paper-mâché SpongeBobs all over the place, Squidward goes on a frenzy and starts destroying every last paper-mâché SpongeBob there is. The episode ends with Squidward claiming this to be his happiest memory and SpongeBob smiling at Squidward's happiness. Uh... yay?

Now even though I don't think it's the worst Squidward torture porn episode out there, I still don't think it's a good episode. I was indifferent about this episode at first, but once I received some logical reasoning about why people hate this episode and I looked back and spotted the suicide jokes I missed the first time, now I understand that this episode deserves ALL OF ITS HATE. However, I still have to try to see what the least of the pros of this episode are. Truth be told, SpongeBob wasn't really trying to make the whole episode be all about torturing Squidward and actually tried to help him as best as he can. In addition, the part with the telephones echoing in SpongeBob's ears was probably the only scene in the episode that I found funny. Alas, those are the only pros I can think of, so now it's time to rant on the cons. First, why is Squidward more depressed than usual in this episode? He may be grumpy in many episodes, but of all the episodes in the series, why is he this depressed? Second, recall the part I mentioned about SpongeBob mounting the flag right on Squidward's foot? Yeah, nice try trying to make an Internet meme out of it, writers. The gag only worked one time with a similar scenario in Jellyfishing, but in this one, it only added to how much annoyed I am with how much the writers want to not let Squidward have any moment of happiness! Come on, that gag isn't going to work on me in an episode about Squidward being depressed! Third, the episode could have been better executed if it was just SpongeBob trying to cheer up Squidward due to him having a bad day. It would at least feel more like Pre-Movie era SpongeBob SquarePants and not be mean-spirited if it was like that! Fourth, the suicide jokes. Oh yes, the suicide jokes. Now if the suicide jokes weren't aimed at a character who was really depressed or they were just altered a bit or cut out of the episode all together, it would make this episode less bad than it already is. Finally, add in lack of continuity and the whole world being against Squidward, and you've got yourself a Cartoon Crapisode right here.

In the words of Ededdneddyfan55, a more proper title for this episode would be, "I AIN'T HAPPY B____!"

This episode really stunk, so here's my final score for it:

1.0 out of 10.0 stars

Next episode: Cartoon Crapisodes Rant: Episode 7 - Shuffleboarding

Thanks for requesting me to rant on this episode, WonkeyDude98.

Until then, peace!


Good rant. - Skullkid755

Nice review, but you forgot to mention the despicable inspiration for this episode. Squidward's Suicide. *shudder* - WonkeyDude98

I did reference the creepypasta in this rant post, but I just didn't directly state it was Squidward's Suicide. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

I don't see it. - WonkeyDude98

It's in the first paragraph of this post, where I said, "Considering many people consider this to be based off a creepypasta about Squidward, that just makes this episode all the more depressing." - ModernSpongeBobSucks

If you want, I can edit the post to mention Squidward's Suicide before it gets approved. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Alright, now the post has been edited to mention Squidward's Suicide. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Alright, thanks. - WonkeyDude98

If only Ededdneddyfan55 were here to see this... - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Why him in particular? - RalphBob

It's because I referenced his comment for his remix on Worst Spongebob Squarepants Episodes for the item Are You Happy Now? in this post. Here's how I referenced it: In the words of Ededdneddyfan55, a more proper title for this episode would be, "I AIN'T HAPPY B____! " - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Do a review of a Total Drama allstars or a Johnny Test episode - ProPanda

I'm too scared to watch even one episode of the crap that is Total Drama All-Stars just for the purpose of ranting, but I'll try to rant on a Johnny Test episode if I can. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

I don't mind offensive jokes as long as they are funny, not meant to be offensive, and are not in a less than T.V.-PG show. - Skullkid755

Can you do Stuck In The Wringer or The Original Fry Cook? - RalphBob

I already ranted on Stuck in the Wringer, but I might rant on The Original Fry Cook. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Do a rant on Donald Trump! Please! I'd love to see it! And also do a rant on Sugou Noboyuki. I made a list on how you can torture him. - TwilightKitsune

To be honest, it would be too much work for me to rant on that arrogant businessman. However, I would be very happy to rant on Sugou Nobuyuki. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

I have a request - "Yours Mine and Mine" - KingFab

Yeah, he told me he'll do it. - DCfnaf

I want to eat that fish, Fiasco is a disasterpiece - is he tuna? - Erinaliese

No, I'm not happy since this episode is still airing. At least in this episode, the suicide references were not clearly forced like in One Coarse Meal. - DCfnaf

Am I the only one who though the title kinda sounds...creepy..? - visitor