Hotheart123's Formal Rage: Puke
Hotheart123 You know, the definition of the "most juvenile song ever" is pretty slim and not a term that should be thrown around lightly. It's a real shame I have to toss that title to my favorite rapper of all time, Eminem.Before we start, I'd like to say that juvenile means childish and immature.
There was no possible way to make a song so malformedly juvenile that it's worse than that Diva song with similiar vocals. No way. Never. Sadly, Eminem pulled it off with Puke, which is the 7th track on his album Encore. I will just say here that his relationship with Kim formed this.
Let's start with the beat. The beat is boring. There's this Queen sample and other boring instruments that keeps the song from being light and painfully enjoyable like Rain Man or Just Lose It.
That's nothing to say with Eminem's voice. He tries to sing-rap, similiar to Dina Rae or Beyonce. He sounds like an absolute girl!! It doesn't help that he had a song that actually did it productively (Crazy in Love). Also, "HOOOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOH!"
The rhymes on this thing are sort of botched. Rhyming "song" with "woah", then "shred up" with "yeah".
The lyrics are easily the worst part. The lyrics show how he hates Kim and wants her to die. The only song I can remember being this specific about it was his song Kim, and then again Kim did die in it. This? Well, this is one of the bars on the second verse:
"You're a f**king coke-head s**t, I hope you f**king die
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
I hate your f**king guts, you f**king slut, I hope you die
Di-ii-ii-ii-ii-ii-ie"
No lyric has ever been as juvenile and whiny as this.
The song hit a new low with the clean version. It is even worse. It's basically the song run through the eyes of a 2-year-old. Don't believe me? Read this:
"You're a freaking piece of poop, I hope you freaking die
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
I hate your freaking guts, you piece of poop, I hope you die"
If that doesn't just make you involuntarily take a blade and stab yourself, you are stronger than I. -10/5.
He starts and finishes the song by...puking. EWWWWWWWW.
The explicit version for this song gets a -5/5 and the clean one gets -10/5. It's the most juvenile song I've ever heard by the distance of thirty lightyears of a margin. This is coming from an Eminem fan 4 life. I hope you don't have to go through the same fate I did. This is Hotheart123, signing out and being extra nice to bulimics, which are people who eat too much, resulting in puking a lot.
EDIT: I PMed WonkeyDude98 on this and he said he liked it.....this coming from the same person who despised FACK and Diva...I don't know how to feel