Top Ten Exam Questions That We Wish Were On Every Exam

People tend to hate the idea of exams, but hopefully these questions, if adopted by the boards, will make the experience much more pleasant. Which is unlikely.
The Top Ten
1 What is your name?

I have seen university students who have left this one blank (though it wasn't a graded question, it was still on the score sheet).

I'm not sure, but I think my name is Nike. It's written on my shoes.

Yeah, us boxes don't really have names, so that's a problem...

I' Oh yeah, I'm Heaven In Hiding. I only live for 3:28.

2 Are you concerned about failing this exam? Yes/No. If No, please move on.

I know I will because I said that's what I want my grade to be, so of course.

No, what happens is what ends up happening.

Of course I am, because I don't know much.

Yeah, I fail at everything. I am a fail. D':

3 Do you want a chocolate?

Yes, I would love a chocolate, please and thank you.

No, I don't, because I don't really like chocolate.

I'm up for the dark one, I mean dark chocolate.

Yes, I want chocolate.
Haha! Too late!

4 What grade do you wish to achieve? Place an "X" in the box next to your answer.

I'd like to get an I, for incomplete, because I don't want to take this test.

Interesting how most have given the same answer, is it not?

Probably the right time to be a narcissist, I guess.

Hmm...I guess F-. That would be good!

5 Do you want to do this Exam? A) YES B) NO

Definitely the best question in an exam.

Who in their right mind would pick A?

This should be top in the list.

Well, of course not.

6 Do you hate exams?

Yeah. They give me anxiety

Yes, they are stressful.

Who would like them?

7 Do you like waffles?

Yeah I like waffles!

I like blue waffle

My fave breakfast

8 Do you wanna build a Snowman?

Well, I've never seen snow before so sure, let's do it!

Yes, I certainly would like to in my spare time.

Yes, then I'll throw it at you for asking.

No, there's no winter in my country.

9 Explain your proof of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. You may use Google to help you.

Google isn't helpful at all today, so unfortunately, I can't answer this question, sorry.

I don't want this question. I don't know what that is!

10 Are you stupid? Yes or No.

Is this really a question?

The Contenders
11 This question treats two stationary masses: the pen and the paper. What is 2+6?

Took me half a second. Automatic response of my brain or something.

Well, that took me about 2 seconds. What about you, matey?

That's one tough word problem.

12 Are you from Earth?
13 Are you upset that you are likely to fail this test? Yes/No. If Yes, don't be. You are unlikely to have herpes.

Not really. I'm used to failing.

I'd love to fail.

14 Explain the significance of Hitler being an absolute Nazi.

I think I should replace him as an absolute Nazi. Oh, wait. I am not an ultra-conservative, just semi-conservative.

That he becomes THE "Adolf Hitler". Basically, that would explain a lot.

Like he wasn't enough to be already established.

15 Translate the following into Italian: Perché sto prendendo questo fastidioso esame?

In English, this says "why am I taking this annoying exam".

Hm... may I use Google Translate for this? Laugh out loud!

Google would probably manage to mess it up somehow.

It's already in Italian

16 Do you like the word "Exam"?
17 What's 1+1?

It's simple. You see the problem, 1+1. Take away the plus sign, and you have 11!

It's 11! Easiest question.

18 How old are you?

I'm 99. I'm only in this here school to see my grandkiddies take this test so I can sew their failing grades onto a sweater and make them wear it on Picture Day!

1 year old and I know everything on the test.

Older than you.

I'm 4 and 3 quarters!

19 Is steak awesome?

Until I was vegetarian!

No. (Come at me butt hurts)

20 What color is the sky?
21 The shaded part of the paper is different from the unshaded part of the paper. Draw a line between these differences.

Ayyy here's one I'd be down for. I could even add my own shading and make it look pretty!

22 How many stars are on the American flag?

Depends which American flag you're asking about. If you're doing an exam on American history, chances are you'll get a flag with between 13 and 50 stars, inclusive.

Only good for americans

23 What's 9+10?

Do you want to know a simple solution to all math problems? Just take away the symbols, and you have your answer! In this case, it's 910.

Seems like 910 if you ask me.

24 How stupid do you think you are? A. Not stupid B. Very Stupid C. Potato

C. My grade is lower than that though.

25 Who is on the $1 bill?
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