Top Ten Types of People In the Scientific Community

Are you an aspiring physicist such as myself? Look out for these people.
The Top Ten
1 Dr. "I Know What's Best"

These are the people who flip out if they see a minor anomaly in their perfectly pictured world. This can happen inside the theoretical or experimental research, when they say things like "do you have ANY IDEA what a thermoresistor is?!" or "the next conference should be in Birmingham, because I live there, and even though we don't have the experimental facilities, life is easier for me, so it's that or suffer my wrath!", or outside of it, when you're walking your dog and they yell "a leash should be held with your thumb supporting the tension of the thread, with your forefinger forming a clamp; good God, how are you allowed to own a dog?!". If you question them, you asked for their life story about why they're the most important person there, compiling how they graduated from a world-renowned university and beat their parents in chess at the age of three, but not actually relating to the matter in hand. You have been warned, my more modest aspiring scientists.

2 Professor Awkward

Now, here's a character who was photoshopped into our world by a drunk ape. A character who thinks he has a way with everyone around him, but it's easy to get creeped out by him. Their skill lies heavily in science, but when it comes to talking to others, it can involve compliments like "I'm sure you're flattered by the fact that you look like a radish." He has such a unique level of social skills, any girl that's nice to him is often mistaken for "the one". So be sure to expect this guy to follow you everywhere. There's a lot more of these people in the community of science than you might think, and I really pity them.

3 Those Excited By Boring Things

I've had the misfortune of sitting through a talk in which I was the only person not under this category. I suffered an hour-long mind-numbingly tedious talk about symmetry in chemical molecules, but before you say it's anything advanced, the largest word the guy used was "molecule". The thing that boggled my mind the most was how these people sat there in awe of the fact that rotating a benzene ring by 60 degrees looks the same. It really was like being in kindergarten, but these people, who, like me, were highly educated students of the sciences, were loving it. As I was leaving, the lecturer told me about this national competition about this, which only the most advanced and most motivated people get in to. "Oh, boy, I'd LOVE to!", I thought to myself, "but the taster you just gave me almost made me want to drink drain cleaner."

4 The Idiot

Not something you'd rationally expect from the scientific community, but there are some people who make the most ridiculous proposals, which every respectable scientist laughs about and tells even their non-scientist friends for a laugh. I've seen entire papers about ideas in which the proposal is to place an object at the focal point of two lenses and make it invisible; have these people never heard of a telescope?!

5 The Klutz

This is the idiot in the research team, who most likely got his/her PhD by means of a series of flukes, and is prone to making entire projects crumble solely under their bearings. It could be by letting a reactor destroy itself, dropping a sample down the drain, spending research money on a holiday home, selling out the grant itself; they'll eventually find a way. It's just too bad that they're so unpredictable.

6 The Workaholic

It's not surprising that scientists take their work seriously, but some take it too seriously. I picture them as people who need a full 50-year research construction for them to understand fun, because they are too focused on everything being pitch-perfect to work on anything else. Shares a lot of properties with Dr. "I Know What's Best."

7 The Poser

"Look at me, world! My name's on this review letter, meaning that I contributed immensely, by taking everyone's Starbucks orders! There's pictures of me sitting at a computer in our records, and of course, they're pictures of me working, and definitely NOT looking at porn, because I'm a scientist!"

8 The Cool Guy

I like to think I fall under this category. I spread the word to everyone who'll listen that science is fantastic, as well as pursue problems through to the end, not leaving things I enjoy unfinished. I don't just state what science does, I make my explanations dynamic and fluid, like fluid dynamics (see what I did there) and I do my best to inspire people to pursue science, because there's no denying that it's incredible, and as you dig further and further in, it gets more and more so, with discoveries being made all the time. With that being said, it's your choice, people. The opportunities in science are vast.

9 The Comedian

Someone who just can't wait to tell you his awful new physics pun, or prank you in the best way possible, maybe with helium, or something as low-key as a whoopee cushion.

Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything! AHA get it?

Should be so much fun working with this type! Haha!

10 Dr. Horny

What makes them differ from other horny individuals is that they think they have coined the perfect algorithm for meeting and talking to the opposite sex. Often by outlining that they have fancy-sounding degrees in obscure-sounding areas of research, and often with cheesy lines that relate to such. It just ends with more and more injuries to the face for them.

This is Howard wolowitz from the Big Bang theory

The Contenders
11 The Genius

This is that person who knows everything there is to know about Science

12 The Gatekeeper
13 The Jerk

You'd be lucky to never wind up in an argument with this guy. These types of people just act like jerks for typically no reason, and they'd even go to extreme lengths in order to get what they want.

14 The Janitor
15 The Average
16 The Nerd
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