Top Ten Absurd Tendencies Marching Band Members Have

Among some of the favorite sections many of us marching band people dislike are trumpet players, who have egos about 10 times the size of an average person. Drumline, who can't stop "hacking," which is a term we use for tapping (but it's so fun to tap). And tubas for being plain immature (no offense to anyone who plays these instruments).

You know those American Pie movies where someone always HAS to bring up band camp? It's kind of the same for us, where we mention bizarre stories about what happened.

However, we won't tell ALL of our stories... because they're just so absurd, you'd have to be in marching band to understand!

We had a male stripper run through our band camp, argue with our director, and eventually get taken away by the police. What happened at band camp stayed at band camp that very day.

Hey, let's ask those people who waste their time and money on sports equipment to do one thing: Pick up a bass drum, which is light, but you can barely see over it. Then march in time with everyone else, play at the same time, or if you're one of those "wind people," do visuals, carry, and play your instrument.

They just don't understand.

I know, right? Everyone thinks percussion instruments are easy. No.

Since I am anonymous for the most part on this website, I've got to share a perfect story as an example. At band camp, I ended up in a cabin full of people who you'd think had a combined IQ of 5. They started jumping up and down so much that it caused a small crack in the ceiling of the people below us. I'm shocked we didn't get kicked out.

While we do act alike in many ways, we strangely act different. We're like a family: We don't always have to talk to each other, but we are strangely alike, which bonds us together.

Not only that, but we seem to alter our topics around others, and we have non-band friends.

A lot of us are plain crazy, and because of marching band, my squad of 16 people do everything together. We even refer to each other as the instrument they play.

Often, a newbie comes in, a few people say hi, and they basically spend the year learning the steps and habits of marching. Not all newbies are freshmen, by the way.

Even if you're a newbie who knows experienced people, it takes a while to adjust to the big community. And there is an awkward induction, which will be disclosed (see number 2).

There are a few annoying things about marching band, but the main reason people stay is because it's fun, and what we make in the end is an amazing product.

Another reason we stay is, of course, the community. Some people even do front ensemble/sideline because they hate marching so much!

Our humor comes from all different roots, from sarcastic to punny, to rather cruel, to sexual, and the occasional joke about the coaches. A joke about the drumline coach is very easy to make. All you do is make a girly midwestern accent and tell people to quit tapping.

We had to make up section mottos for band camp. Us trombones used "We're afraid of what's gonna happen." But the mellophones win this round - their motto was "Do what we did, and get mad at trees!" I just know this is an inside joke.

Getting a marching band member's attention is about as easy as finding a needle in a 3km/3km/3km cube of hay. Our attention spans are quite small, and we often find ourselves quickly going from one thing to the next.

The only way to grab our attention is to promise a candy bar or a game of Cards Against Humanity. If you don't know what that is, chances are you shouldn't.

Everyone in my drumline always talks about memes and really stupid stuff that no one else understands. It's really confusing. At every practice, they talk like Forrest Gump and discuss conspiracy theories.

Basically, everyone is constantly confused by our drumline.

Everyone in my band has watched Doctor Who and has Doctor everything.