Top 10 Worst Songs of 2023

Music is the universal language, the soundtrack to our lives, and let's face it - it's not always sweet melodies and catchy hooks. Sometimes, it's a cacophony that leaves us reaching for the skip button faster than you can say "next." And that's why you're here, right? To contribute to the democratic process of music criticism, and help compile the definitive list of the worst songs of 2023.

Let's set some ground rules first. This is a judgment-free zone. We all have different tastes in music, and what may sound like a tuneless dirge to one person may be another's earworm. So remember, if someone lists a song you like, it's not a personal attack, it's just a differing opinion. And that's totally okay - the world would be a very dull place if we all liked the same things, wouldn't it?

When you're voting, try to think about what it is about the song that really grinds your gears. Is it the lyrics? The melody? The artist's voice? Or maybe it just gives you a headache every time you hear it. Whatever it is, this is your chance to have your say.

So, what are the songs that had you begging for mercy in 2023? The ones that made you contemplate throwing your radio out the window or deleting your streaming app?
The Top Ten
1 Toxic Gossip Train - Colleen Ballinger

This has to be the worst apology in YouTube history, and it's probably even worse than the Logan Paul one back in 2018. At least Logan Paul matured and learned from his mistakes (as far as I know, he hasn't really done anything super controversial as of late), but Colleen probably won't. She just plays the victim and blames the people who accused her, coming off as super laughable. She needs to grow up!

Colleen Ballinger, if she were accused of cheating on her husband: "The only thing I've ever cheated on is my math test! I'm not a cheater, just an attention seeker, who didn't understand I shouldn't let another man get in my pants! And I'm not a liar even though you think so because a few months ago I had some fun with another man! But that's not very interesting, is it? So let's go on the tOxIc GoSsIp TrAiN!"

2 Try that in a Small Town - Jason Aldean

Does anyone remember how YG released that song "FDT," where he criticized Donald Trump, said he was going to crash an LA Trump rally and "mess it up," and then said he was going to go "Black Panther," which was blatantly calling for violence? Well, the same people who were praising that song are now saying that this song, which says "try that here and we'll kick your behinds" in response to rioters, is fascism. You can't make this stuff up.

The only part of this that is objectionable to me is the bit where he insinuates that burning the flag and cursing out a cop are worthy of a violent response. They're not. That's freedom of speech. Everything else seems reasonable to me. But hey, maybe I'm wrong about that. Feel free to explain what exactly I'm missing here.

3 American Flags - Tom MacDonald & Adam Calhoun

Finally, #3! I'm proud of this website's community for growing up and being able to realize that the worst music isn't the most popular and annoying stuff people won't shut up about. It's immoral abominations like this that shouldn't exist! Thank you to everybody who voted on this and the top three.

Just don't give this song the time. Either look up the lyrics without listening, or just ignore it entirely. For a fun game, though, according to this song, Tom believes patriotism involves: 5x incitement of violent behavior, 4x conspiracy to commit murder, 4x uttering threats involving bodily harm/death, 3x inciting subversive activity, 3x incitement of domestic terrorism, 2x incitement of hate crimes, 2x incitement of vandalism, 1x incitement of B&E, and 1x conspiracy to commit treason.

4 Boycott Target - Forgiato Blow and Jimmy Levy

"Cinderella Snapped" is currently the worst far-left single of the year, and this is currently the worst far-right single of the year. An easy target (haha), sure, but still deserving of the number 1 spot on the list. This is one of the worst right-wing singles I've ever heard in my life. Inflation? CRT? The economy? No, they're targeting your kids by promoting those "sexual genders" or whatever. We need to have a moral panic over that. By the way, that "sexual gender" lyric is Jake Paul-level writing. Anyone remember that "God Church" lyric? Yeah, this is the 2023 version of that lyric. Lol.

5 Mother - Meghan Trainor

Every time I hear this, the more I hate it. What doesn't help is that it is my sister's favorite song (despite being worse than listening to roadworks at 2 a.m.), so I'm subjected to it constantly. If there was one song I could remove from humanity, I would certainly be picking this one right now.

Man, I'm so glad I got out of my Meghan Trainor phase before this was released. I can't imagine even attempting to defend this sexist disaster when I liked her. It's the worst song she's ever made, unquestionably.

Meghan Trainor hopping onto the TikTok music bandwagon is not something anyone wanted to see. I think she's trying (and failing) to get a gay fanbase. As a member of the LGBT+ community, we don't want her.

6 SH SH SH (Hit That) - DVBBS & Wiz Khalifa

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in this studio to learn what they were thinking. Easily the worst creative concept for a full song, a flurry of annoying shush noises densely permeates to attack your eardrums with not a second spared, coupled with lyricism so laughable that the first thought it gave me was the She Farted On My Dick song by NCT127.

Now that the list is gathering more votes, I'm glad that this has finally reached the top. After making so many songs while stoned out of his mind, Khalifa was bound to make a bizarre disaster. And I can't believe that DVBBS also played a part in this embarrassment.

7 Mathematical Disrespect - Lil Mabu

Lil Mabu represents everything rap aims to destroy. He's an industry plant, a WASP weaponizing the genre's scrappy, grassroots origins as a market for his family to ascend even higher. In truth, he's actually a silver-spooned student from Lincoln Collegiate Prep with over $12 million to his family's name and a mansion in the Hamptons to his claim. So, as Lil Mabu peddles his lyrics about color theory and raps the numbers of pi, remember that when he proclaims his tough persona, his "tough guy" talk is as baby-faced and squeaky as the prim rat behind it.

8 Ghetto Girls>>>> - DaBaby

Why do we still give attention to this clown? His music is as one-note as ever, and his lyrics are particularly degrading to women. Let's just leave him back in 2020 already.

One of two awful tracks off DaBaby's new three-track EP, Call Da Fireman. The beats sound pretty bad, and DaBaby uses the same old tired flow.

9 Cinderella Snapped - Jax

Is this really where we're at? Are we really at a point in society where someone can have a lyric as stupid as "I'm a goddamn CEO, don't call me baby, equal pay me" and have it get radio play? And this is after getting radio play for another one of the worst songs ever written. How does anybody take Jax seriously? Surely even the radical feminists this is meant to pander to can see the stupidity of this song and Meghan Trainor's, right?

This sounds like an Olivia Rodrigo wannabe. This song is nothing but awful. It has fake lyrics. This is one of the worst pop-rock songs that I've ever heard. No wonder modern music nowadays is pure, utter rubbish.

10 Sugar Mommy - Crash Adams

Crash Adams, just... just stop. The lack of self-awareness has made you cross the line to a campiness that no one could ever find comfortable. In no universe would anyone but you find the idea of a bubblegum pop track about why you, not the listener, bend backward and simp for your 'sugar mommy' to be appealing, attractive, or any bit agreeable. Please stop making your glory-holy worship kink tracks before more innocent listeners get hurt.

The Newcomers

? Loca Loca - R3hab & Pelican

Yet another basic EDM song that lazily samples a well-known, better track. Please make this stupid trend die out ASAP. We need DJs and producers to come up with ideas of their own, or else they can just retire.

? Run for the Hills - Tate McRae
The Contenders
11 We Didn't Start the Fire - Fall Out Boy

I am not surprised that this made Fantano's Worst Songs of 2023 list, as well as appearing on other worst song lists of the year. First, FOB released their best album in 15 years, and then, a couple of months later, they come out with this crap? This remake of the iconic Billy Joel song is wrong on so many levels, and I am starting to think it's worse than some of the stuff off of Mania. There are lots of questionable moments, such as it not being in chronological order (which was the whole point of the original!), rhyming "George Floyd" with "Metroid", and not mentioning Covid at all.

12 Area Codes - Kali

This song doesn't have the energy it thinks it has. Trying to sound like you're bad, but you just aren't that smooth. You should probably quit that second profession since you probably aren't good at that either.

A rather straightforward hustle track that winds up rather inconsequential but respectable in its minuscule scope. The backbeat doesn't strive to be flashy in a way that feels like her game is all just business to her. It kind of feels like the side hustle, or the entrée, to the real business Kali could be cooking, and I'm curious to see what that might end up being.

13 Pump Rock x Heavy Metal - Lil Pump

Like Barbie Dress-Up at Hot Topic, this track feels like the shopping list of two genres for someone who knows next to nothing about them. Both punk rock and heavy metal arrangements feel like aesthetic borrowing, full of hollowness and devoid of any human element. They carry only the cultural clichés and the secondhand embarrassment anyone would feel listening to or associating with this.

Lil Pump doing a rap metal song is as awful and insulting as you'd expect it to be.

14 Baby Don't Hurt Me - David Guetta, Anne-Marie & Coi Leray

David Guetta used to make really good songs. Now, all he does is make really mediocre remakes of iconic classic tunes.

I can't even say that he's bringing attention back to the original songs, like what Stranger Things did for Kate Bush. Everybody still knows those classics, and they're still a staple in clubs and memes. It's just not needed.

Stop, David. Just stop. You're going to embarrass yourself if you keep doing this cringeworthy BS, where you take older club songs and try to remix them in obviously cheap and overdone ways.

15 Automobooty - NLE Choppa

I don't think a track has left me more speechless than this one. I feel six degrees of secondhand embarrassment, and none of the thoughts I have can be adequately put into words. I thought the hook was cause for concern until the whiplash from Choppa's second verse hit. I'm pretty sure there are lines bragging about recording pedophilia and performing domestic abuse too? The sheer absurdity and delinquency of this track should be studied by psychologists and no one else.

16 Thinkin’ Bout Me - Morgan Wallen

Why was this one of the biggest hits off the album? It's so toxic and ugly sounding in the lyrical department and production.

17 Swag Like Ohio, Pt. 2 - Trippie Redd & Lil B

Who on Earth still says "swag" in 2023? I thought we had left that word back in the early 2010s.

18 Shake Sumn - DaBaby

Who convinced that stupid, 500-toothed dinosaur that he could sing?

This song is a disgrace to Jersey Club, and the remix with Sexyy Red is even worse.

19 Search & Rescue - Drake
20 Vulgar - Sam Smith & Madonna

This has to be the most disappointing LGBTQ+ collaboration of the year. It tries so hard to sound like a trashier and sexier version of "Unholy", but it ultimately comes off as unintentionally hilarious. Also, Madonna managed to deliver a guest appearance that is almost as bad as her Razzie-winning movie performances.

This underwhelming track sounds like "Unholy" mixed with J.Lo's "Booty." Also, "watch what you say, or I'll split your banana" has to be one of the worst and most unintentionally hilarious lyrics of the year, alongside "About to go Darth, about to go Disney" from "Watch the World Burn" by FiR.

21 Justice for All - Donald J. Trump & J6 Prison Choir

You guys deserve jail for storming the US Capitol in the first place.

You could hardly call this a song, but some low-quality muffled choir.

Why would Trump even make a song in the first place?!

22 Good Loyal Thots - Odetari

So annoying, so sexist. I knew it was going to be bad right from the cover.

Why are people giving these random music artists attention?

Is that Sora from Kingdom Hearts in the middle?

23 Stuck - Thirty Seconds to Mars

What the heck happened to one of my favorite bands from my childhood? 30STM used to be one of my all time favorite bands when I was younger but my god so much of their stuff from the past decade is very bad, which caused me to fall out of love with them pretty fast. And this new single from them is worse than some of the stuff off of 2018's America, and yeah my hopes weren't that high for this thing, and turned out just as bad as I expected it to be. The instrumentals are not good at all and Jared's autotuned vocals are also annoying. The "ra-da-da's" in the bridge and outro make it even worse. Also, look what happens when a band's frontman has a big ego!

24 My Foot - Submarine Man

Submarine Man is the worst music artist ever. He is infinitely worse than 6ix9ine, Jax, Tom MacDonald, Adam Calhoun, Jake Paul, Jacob Sartorius, and JackG combined.

25 On the Prowl - Submarine Man
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