Top 10 Creepiest Baby Einstein Moments

Baby Einstein is a franchise created by Julie Aigner-Clark. She designed it as entertainment for babies and toddlers, so it must be all fun and games, right? Wrong.

Baby Einstein has some scary parts, but babies don't even realize it until later. And it can scar you for life, like it did for me. So I'm counting down the top 10 creepiest Baby Einstein moments.

The Top Ten

Zylon Dragon (Baby Bach)

Definitely fits #1 on this list. This guy scared me too, and I remember when I reset the DVD every time right before he popped up once while in bed when I was younger, bruh. Though, weirdly, he didn't appear in nightmares as much as the robots. But if I made a horror game based on Baby Einstein, I'd make him the final boss.

This is the only thing on this list I was afraid of. It was odd because if there was a moment I considered scary in a video, I wouldn't watch it at all. However, with this one, even though it scared me, it was still my favorite video for some reason.
I was scared of the cow in Language Nursery, the Zylon Dragon in Baby Bach, the opening Vincent puppet show in Baby Van Gogh, the mousetrap in Baby Dolittle, the elephant sneezing in Baby Da Vinci, and the post-credits puppet show in Baby Monet. I would refuse to watch Baby Galileo because of the stars puppet show - I felt bad when the baby kangaroo bumped into his mom.
Bard the Dragon (Baby Mozart)

BLAH! Bard the Dragon tops as the creepiest moment in Baby Einstein. The puppet shows starring him (A New Friend and Blah!) scared me equally as a baby. I've had nightmares about him, and I remember one like it was yesterday. He appeared in front of me, and I tried to blah him away.
Worst mistake. He started blahing at me just like he did in Baby Mozart. Several times. I ran away, and the last thing I saw was Bard. Then I woke up.

I've always despised this little green bastard since I was a baby. It was uglier than Lucifer when I was a kid. Nowadays, I'm not scared, but god, it still looks so uncanny. The black background really doesn't help.
This part was probably my first fight-or-flight experience. I ran out of the room like he was going to maul me like a bear. It's just so creepy, even today. Something about it is just so off.
Bard Jumpscare (Baby Shakespeare)

The Bard jumpscare was not scary at all. Bard was only scary in Baby Mozart when he did those creepy facial expressions. Bard was much nicer to the audience in Baby Shakespeare because he wasn't scary.

The six-note opening introduces Bard the Dragon, the host of Baby Shakespeare. But don't let my description fool you. Watch it, and you'll see for yourself.
Dolls (Language Nursery)

We are dolls. You cannot beat us.
Bard Plush Toy (Baby Mozart)

When I watched Baby Mozart, the video didn't have this toy. Instead, a caterpillar dropped. Also, the background was white instead of black.

Right after Turkish March, a Bard the Dragon plush randomly falls to the ground, scaring everyone with a loud noise.

Yes, when I watched Baby Mozart, Mr. Buggity Bugget dropped down. I had the old version.
Pecking Rooster (Baby Mozart)

The rooster pecks three times, each making a loud noise. The first two are surprising, but the last peck waits a couple of seconds, making it even scarier.

This is the creepiest scene in the entire Baby Einstein series! The three pecks sometimes give me nightmares.
Meep Meep the Chicken (Baby Bach)

The very beginning of Baby Bach, with that background music, is pretty creepy stuff.

When I was first watching this, the first thing I heard was chickens clucking, and I screamed: "Chicken!"

His real name is Cornelius the Dancing Chicken. When I first saw him in Baby Bach, he looked like a cartoony chicken because of his eyes.
Robots (Baby Bach)

These dudes randomly kept appearing in my nightmares. The way it goes from cheerful musical bears to a black robot staring at your soul, along with that music, is what scared me. But after the introduction of the robots, they're chill then.

The robots just creep me out for some reason.
Talking Sunflower (Baby Bach)

I'm not scared of that Sunny the Sunflower toy. She's kind of cute and can sing like the other singing plants.

Creepy, but it wasn't the scariest thing that happened in Baby Bach.
Giraffe Cone Puppet (World Animals)

Definitely the scariest part. It just kept appearing from different parts of the black screen with that kazoo sound and, yeah. Not the scariest thing for me in the series, though.

In 2012, this was the very first Baby Einstein movie I ever watched. When the scene came on, I had nightmares from it, but no trauma (which is weird). I eventually faced my fears when I saw it again.
I still get easily startled when seeing the cone puppet, but I'm happy to report that Baby Einstein actually improves language development and attention spans in children.

The Newcomers

?
Flying Cow (Neighborhood Animals)

Doesnt scare me that much anymore, but did when I was younger. Bro kept appearing on any turned off TV in my past nightmares, and even led to me being inspired to give one of my OCs bovinophobia (fear of cows)
?
Baby Bach Chickens

This episode from Baby Einstein is super scary, especially the beginning when the chickens were there. This creepy song played, and creepy chickens popped up on the black screen.
The first version of the chickens wasn't scary at all, but the second version was so creepy it scared the crap out of me! #notrecommendedforages3andunder

The Contenders

Bugs (Baby Van Gogh)

The red one that shows up at the end of the green and red parts is the scariest. The 2004 bugs were def less scary than the original bugs.

Alright, side comment: I find it hard to sleep without dreaming about them. I used to have repeating dreams of me chilling, watching Baby Van Gogh, and whenever those bugs appeared, I couldn't skip it!
Anyway, I'm glad they've been replaced by the Shufflebugs.

When I was little, I was chilling at my mom's computer watching Baby Van Gogh, and the loud noise from those bugs scared the heck out of me. My mom noticed I was scared, probably because the volume was too high.
Baby Einstein Opening

So creepy. When I was 4, my baby sister LOVED watching those. When I saw the theme for the first time, I had nightmares for weeks. One time, when my sister was watching it, I ran and hid behind the couch.
I've grown out of that phase, but whenever I see it, I still get scared.

When I was a toddler, my sister and I would run into the kitchen and wait for the caterpillar to leave. I've grown out of that phase now. I just realized that the caterpillar wasn't coming for our souls - it was only friendly.

Yeah, this really throws me into turmoil. The music sounds creepy, and the caterpillar's smile seals the deal. Enough said about how disturbing it is.
Goldfish Popup (Baby Neptune)

This really comes out of nowhere. Don't believe me? Watch Baby Neptune and get scared - hence the name "Popup" in the title.

Gosh darn it, goldfish! You are the reason I was scared of Baby Neptune!
Knocking Over Stacked Letter Blocks (Language Nursery)

It didn't scare me until the hand knocked over the blocks.
Baby Einstein Ending
Possessed Van Gogh (Baby Van Gogh)

I agree with this. Van Gogh was one of the scariest episodes to me because of this! Also, was Van Gogh really possessed?

The fake static and the possessed painting of SCP Vincent creeped me out as a kid, but I no longer fear it.

This scene was so scary when I was a kid. Now I'm a teenager, and I don't get scared that much.
Clowns (Baby Bach)
Dancing Cacti (Baby Van Gogh)

They would give me nightmares when I was 2! It's why Baby Van Gogh is the scariest episode!
Santa in Plane (Baby Santa's Music Box)

Oh yes! Santa in the plane is flying over the warning screen with Christmas pumpkins! That scared me!
Horse Puppet Eating Flower (Numbers Nursery)

There was a video called "Flower Murder," where a baby was watching Numbers Nursery on a laptop. The horse and the flower puppet show came on, and when he ate the flower, the baby had a HUGE MELTDOWN! The mom was trying to calm the baby down.
This video even came with a disclaimer saying, "Parental advisory: Content may not be suitable for babies under 6 months old, due to graphic drama and/or violence to a flower."

Do NOT, DO NOT put this on in front of an infant. They'll get caught off guard and cry.
Dog Puppet (Baby Mozart)

I'm a bit surprised that this isn't higher on the list. When I was little, I was afraid of it because of its bark. My parents forced me to sit down with them and watch it to help me face my fears. But they soon realized it was going to take me a long time to face that fear, so they let me try it out on my own.
I've not been afraid ever since.
Hippo/Elephant Puppet Show (Baby Noah)

I agree with you, Noah. The elephant is out of control because she interrupted the hippos from singing!
Jane the Monkey Jumpscare (Baby Einstein)

It was so creepy when Jane popped up out of nowhere. I got so scared that I had nightmares about her appearing on the screen.
Wooden Boy (Baby Da Vinci)
Walking Duck (Baby Dolittle)