If you ever put these on your book, then I'll send a divorce.
1 If you reached this far into this autobiography, then you've just earned yourself a punishment exercise. Give me 100 laps around your house.
Surely a very unique thing to write in an autobiography. That book may sell million copies. - Kiteretsunu
2 No one was that abusive against other people unless someone's wifi was shut done, then it's time to sharpen up bayonets.
3 If war didn't exist, then tweets about teenagers hating their parents would be gone.
4 My friends once told me I couldn't make it in the game, I proved them right by deleting Minecraft.
I get it! You can make stuff in Minecraft! - RiverClanRocks
Damn, you're a comic quirk, Dunc. - PositronWildhawk
5 Life's like a bag of crisps, they're just nothing in there until you realize you had every single one of them.
6 The first time I went into the pool was also the time a six year old drowned, and the first time I brought an album was also the time a musician died. Now I know why priests tried to murder me.
7 When I was born, someone told me about my birth certificate being an apology to the condom factory. So I put the condom over my birth certificate and to my surprise, I'm now officially unborn.
8 I put hard work on my work and put effort on effort, in fact I even put hard work on my effort/work.
9 I was once called an "InstaW****" and I didn't know why until I checked my profile on Instagram.
10 So I ate breakfast, I walked in the streets, got my nuts kick in and thought that it can't get worse than this until the breakfast I had earlier contacted a huge diarrhea on my trousers.
The writings of a literary prodigy. - PositronWildhawk