Top Ten Weirdest Theories About Unsolved Mysteries

Okay, it's me again with "Weirdest ____" lists. This is one of my strengths because let's face it: I'm kinda weird, too! Now, everything about every unsolved mystery is weird, but let's face the weirdest theories out there!
The Top Ten
1 Stonehenge is used to summon earth magic

Yes, people think that Stonehenge is used to summon earth magic. Even some of the possible "evidence" is a picture of Merlin himself orchestrating the construction of Stonehenge with help from a giant. If I believed in magic myself, I might call this "logical." There are supposedly these things called "ley lines," which have a lot of different meanings, but let's focus on one: Monuments such as hinges were placed along lines of mystic earth, to channel prehistoric humans' energy and to testify to their existence.

So, Stonehenge is kind of like a battery or a USB cord to channel earth energy, making it impossible to tap into without magic, or perhaps some long-forgotten technology. Neo-pagans even go to Stonehenge, I believe, on the Winter Solstice, in hopes to tap into the magic that these stones supposedly obtain.

2 Atlantis was real and it was destroyed by the Flood

Before you call me absolutely insane, let me remind you: I don't believe this myself. I can follow the logic behind this one, as every major religion has a myth (or if you were to ask me about the Christian flood, I'd say reality) of a great flood. For my knowledge of this one being far superior to the rest, we're gonna stick with Noah's Ark. If God Himself made the entire planet as one big Atlantis for quite a while, I believe this would make tectonic plates' pace of shifting increase insanely faster than they do nowadays. It is fully possible that a nation, tribe, or whatever we want to call Atlantis, became pushed off of probably Eurasia, and became submerged in the Atlantic. Not to mention "Atlantic" and "Atlantis" have only one different letter in them.

3 The Nasca Lines were made by out-of-body experiences of gods

Okay, you're probably wondering what these "Nasca Lines" I speak of are in the first place. They're only visible from above, and they're lines connecting these giant figures in the sand, called geoglyphs.

With that said, one of the lesser-known theories about this lesser-known unsolved mystery is that these giant drawings were created by and for shamans (basically an unnecessary and more complicated way of saying "gods") on drug-induced or trance-induced "astral travel." This is when someone has an out-of-body experience where your soul can fly through the air and look around from a higher perspective. Great theory, but how do you drug a god?

4 The Easter Island Statues were made by aliens as a distress signal

What's with unsolved mysteries always being about either gods, aliens, or gods who are aliens? The guy who conjured this one up, Erich von Daniken, was a real nut who had a theory about the Nasca Lines, too. He believed that a small group of highly intelligent people was stranded on Easter Island owing to a technical hitch, so they made stone giants which they set up on stone pedestals along the coastline so they could see from afar. (Naturally, when he said "highly intelligent people" he meant aliens.)

To be honest, this isn't the weirdest theory out there. That goes to either these statues being mediators between gods and men or them being originally along the coastline because they're looking for a savior or messiah, but this one is the most detailed. Anyway, if this was aliens, why aren't there any aliens populating Easter Island whatsoever?

5 The Devil's Footprints were made by a kangaroo that escaped a zoo

Let me explain what "The Devil's Footprints" were: Ultimately, The Devil's Footprints were (surprise) footprints that were made in Devonshire, England, way back in 1855. Nothing, from walls to bodies of water, seemed to be able to stop these footprints. They looked like they came from something bipedal, or that walks on two legs. They looked as if they were seared into the snow with a hot iron.

Since we often depict the Devil as having cloven hooves, that's kind of unnerving. But here's a small problem: while there were a few escaped kangaroos hopping around the same area, and they're predominantly bipedal, the Devil's Footprints bore no resemblance to those of a kangaroo. Did Satan pay England a visit? I don't think so, or at least not taking a physical form, but I do not have the answers to this one.

6 Spirit orbs are balls of lightning

Also referred to as ghost orbs (I can't say I find that surprising. Spirits and ghosts are synonymous), spirit orbs are seen worldwide and the people who have experienced this report that they've received messages or visions through them. They're actually the easiest subject to debunk that you'll see on this list, supposedly.

As for this whole "balls of lightning" theory, well, that would mean they're spheres of plasma created by piezoelectric (pie-e-zo electric) effects, where pressure creates electric current on quartz crystalline rock, and that somehow creates these orbs. But many people think there's more to these spheres. A form of intelligence like God, gods plural, the spirits of the deceased, and so on.

7 Weeping and bleeding statues represent the Godhead and the Virgin Birth

Yes, that's right: Statues seem to weep, bleed, drink milk, and much more. Pagan deities were the first to be seen weeping, and Christian philosopher Augustine thought that they were weeping because of their demise as Christ started to reign supreme.

That theory has been debunked because they're even more common in statues of Christian characters, especially the Virgin Mary. Sorry if I sound kind of insane, but seeing as Jesus was her son, this almost makes sense. As for representing the Godhead, in 1973, a bleeding statue of Mary had three different blood types linked to it, so conspiracy theorists decided that meant Father, Son, and Spirit. In another case, the blood from a statue of Jesus was female, so that went to the Virgin Birth almost by reflex.

My interpretation is a couple of pranksters just put blood on these statues and maybe wax them for the "tears," to make the conspiracy theorists go crazy. Unfortunately, that is immediately debunked, because how could Ancient Greeks wax a statue? I'm not saying I believe this myself, but there's no explanation - logical or otherwise - for this crying, bleeding, etc., statue thing.

8 The Turin shroud is actually a self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci

So the Turin shroud is claimed to be the burial shroud of Jesus Christ Himself. The reason it's not called the "Christ Shroud" is that it was found in Turin, Italy. It shows gruesome stains of blood and a scalp injury, possibly made by a crown of thorns. People have put two and two together and concluded that the only man who could've died by that form of death is Jesus Christ.

As for the Da Vinci theory, writers such as Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince have developed an insanely thorough conspiracy theory that this is a self-portrait. They believe that Leonardo Da Vinci indeed made the Turin shroud as a self-portrait, using early photographic technology, on a mission to infiltrate Gnostic Christianity. I personally don't know what to think of the Turin shroud, but why would Da Vinci try to make himself out to be Jesus Christ or simply depict himself in such a gory way? I may not be an expert on this, but I'm leaning towards this being the burial shroud of Jesus Christ.

9 The Loch Ness Monster is a plesiosaur that escaped extinction The Loch Ness Monster (also known as Nessie) is an aquatic creature which reputedly inhabits Loch Ness (a lake in Scotland). Nessie is one of the most famous cryptids in history. The earliest report of the monster was in A.D. 565 where Irish monk Saint Columbia was the first person to record having... read more

Okay, you probably expected something about Nessie on this list, seeing as she is a very popular unsolved mystery. I know this one is more logical than the rest.

While plesiosaurs have the same look as the Loch Ness Monster - oval bodies, flippers, long necks, and small heads - Nessie was first sighted in 1933. Depending on how long plesiosaurs live, there may or may not have to be an entire colony of these things living in the Loch. One Nessie is humongous alone, so if there's more than one Loch Ness Monster, what exactly are cryptozoologists doing these days if they can't find a multitude of these things?

10 The murder of Katherine Korzilius was due to Katherine getting in a stranger's car

Okay, Katherine Korzilius was the daughter of Paul Korzilius, Bon Jovi's tour manager. She died mysteriously after her mother found her already dying but seemingly untouched and unharmed.

The lack of clues or regard for this mysterious death took the dog off the leash. Most people who know of this mystery think Katherine was doomed by her own mother. This isn't the most bizarre theory, but everyone on seems to think she was abducted by strangers, left there to die, but was otherwise unharmed as if they'd planned things so Nancy Korzilius could watch her daughter die. Disturbing, but logical.

The Contenders
11 The lighthouse keepers of Eilean Mor turned into Cormorants

Hmm, interesting. Oddly enough, this was first proposed in the middle of an opera!

12 Bigfoot escaped extinction and is Gigantopithecus's distant relative In North American folklore, Bigfoot or Sasquatch are said to be hairy, upright-walking, ape-like creatures that dwell in the wilderness and leave footprints.

Similar to the likes of my take on The Loch Ness Monster, this one is not very far-fetched, and to be honest, it's pretty darn close to a placeholder. As usual, before we dive in, I'll give you a little pronunciation guide for "gigantopithecus." Ji-gan-toe-pith-a-kiss. My problem with this somewhat logical theory all lies within the feet. Gigantopithecus is basically a huge orangutan. Its feet resemble those of an orangutan, whereas Bigfoot's feet are much more humanoid.

So if Gigantopithecus had monkey feet, how did Bigfoot get insanely large human-like feet? And if they're as intelligent as most primates, why did nobody introduce the concept of taking showers to these huge beasts that smell worse than skunks?

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