Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreen - it's a result of near-homophony that gives it a new meaning, often funny.
The Top Ten
Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica

Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side!

Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.

Ha! I bet James probably orders this at fast food restaurants!

Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish
You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth

At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of Holy Wars was "mercy, you know they'll take my balls away." Until reading the actual lyric, I thought it was "you try to take his boss."

Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween
Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

The dark truth you wouldn't want to know about Santa Claus.

Funnier than the gimme food one!

Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest

I would definitely want Rob Halford as a neighbor then.

All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant.

Rob would be great in the neighborhood. He would be the best lawn raker of all time.

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden

PsychoStick did a song based on this called "Quack Kills." Pretty funny from a great band.

I have a constant fear that a "quack" is always near.

I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah

Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance.

Vitamin water endorsement? Yeah, I like vitamins.

This lyric hurts my mind from being misheard like that. Wax in your ears much or powder?

I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica

The Newcomers

? Give this a try! - Get This, Slipknot
? I like… shredded… Wheat! - Chased Through the Woods By a R**ist, Waking the Cadaver
The Contenders
As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica
He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica

I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica.

My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer
Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater

How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie?

Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness

People eat bulls**t! - People = S**t, Slipknot
There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush
F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater
Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth

I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away."

I didn't know Megadeth was so passionate about animal control.

Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away.

Pikachu’s a virgin! - Psychosocial, Slipknot
"Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish
Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean!

I have no idea why I thought of that right when I was just listening to this song. I added this, by the way.

Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this?

Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer

Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics?

Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!

I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes." Weird.

When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard "burning hard, seducing queen" instead of "burning hard, loose and clean."

Think of Batman pooping snakes. - You Can Fly, Jud Conlon Chorus and the Mellomen
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