Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreen - it's a result of near-homophony that gives it a new meaning, often funny.
The Top Ten
1 Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica

Nice image, I bet that what happens when james hetfield orders fast food

Sound's like an overly aggressive order at the McDonald's drive thru

Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side!

Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.

2 Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish

I sing this text for years. I donť know right text.

Actual Lyric:
Master! Apprentice! Heartborne! 7th Seeker!

3 You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth

At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of holy wars was "mercy you know they'll take my balls away"

And until reading the actual lyric I thought it was "you try to take his boss"

Lol, I thought this was the actual lyrics.

Actual lyric:
You try to take its pulse.

I heard it and then couldn't unhear it

4 Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden

I can't unhear it...
Actual Lyric: Fear of the Dark
But the chorus with misheard lyrics completely makes sense:
"Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia that someone's always there"

PsychoStick did a song based on this called"Quack kills". Pretty funny from a great band

No, it's fear of the duck

I have a constant fear a “quack” is always near.

5 Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween

Holy crap, this is funny

Actual: Masquerade, Masquerade, Grab Your Mask and Don't Be Late

6 Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest

I don't know if it was you, Metal Treasure, or someone else that added the photo, but that is one of the funniest things I've seen on the site in a while!

I would definitely want Rob Halford as a neighbour then.

All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant.

Powder in your ears much?

7 I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden

B.O. - body odor. Actual lyric: I've gone beyond to seek the truth

8 Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

Actual Lyric: Sail across the sea of lights

Funnier than the gimme food one!

The dark truth you wouldn’t want to know about Santa Claus.

9 Controlling bastard, I'll be your mustard! Mustard! - Master of Puppets, Metallica

Despite being one of my favorite songs of all time, these misheard lyrics are hilarious! I wonder who thought of that and I wonder if that spawned any memes.

McDonalds: What do you want on your burger?
James Hetfield: Mustard! Mustard!

Actual Lyric: Come crawling faster, obey your master! Master!

This is what James Hetfield asks for on his burger.

10 I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah

Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance.

This lyric hurts my mind of being misheard like that.Wax in your ears much or powder?

The Contenders
11 I'm baking a lemon inside you! - Glass Shatters, Disturbed

Disturbed are NOT exactly a metal band

It's hard rock, guys. Chill out

Disturbed is NOT metal...


12 Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica

Ooh, yeah...*squirts hand sanitizer*

Actual lyric:

13 My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer

Catch dozens, if you want
My name's Tony, I've got some bacon
Torrent lies from the pain
Regulate and watch me Mike soon
Only worth of the law
Seeking watches, oh Albus
Spicy salt fluids me
try to escape, but death's on my hand
Lies from the laboratory exist
Her I come, salmon's done
The hell will bewitch you
We do know herds to the sky
And listen to for steel

Actual Lyric:
Mindless tyranny, forgotten victims.

This ruined the song for me, but it’s still funny

14 He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica

I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica.

Actual lyric: He's not a man anymore. She sees the change in him

15 F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater

Actual Lyric: Thought disorder.

16 As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica

Actual lyric: As I watch death unfold.
(it's really funny because in the 1989 Grammy Awards, Metallica lost out to Jethro Tull in the category hard rock and heavy metal, although Jethro Tull are neither metal nor hard rock, LOL.

17 Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden

Life down there is just a strange illusion
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Harold be Thy name

18 Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater

Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness

How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie?

19 Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth

I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away"..

Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away.

I truly thought that was the lyric for some time

Didn’t know Megadeth were so passionate about the animal control.

20 "Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish

Actual lyrics:
"Tragedienne of heavens / Watching the eyes of the night"

21 There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush

I don't think this song is metal and it shouldn't be on this list

22 Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean! I have no Idea why I thought of that RIGHT when I was just listening to this song. I added this by the way.

Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this?

23 Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!
I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes". Weird.

When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard “burning hard, seducing queen” instead of “burning hard, loose and clean”.

24 Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer

Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics?

Actual lyric: Tighten the tourniquent around your neck

25 Bring me a doughnut to the sauna - Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter, Iron Maiden

Actual lyric: Bring me your daughter to the slaughter

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