Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs
Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreens, which is a fancy way of saying your ears took a left turn while the singer was busy growling through a wall of guitars. They happen because near-homophony makes one phrase sound enough like another that your brain grabs the wrong words and runs with them like a stage diver who missed the crowd. In metal, that mix of speed, distortion, operatic wails, and throat-shredding vocals can turn serious lines into snack orders, farm chores, bathroom disasters, or things no lyric sheet would admit to printing.
Once you hear one, good luck getting the real lyric back without a crowbar and several listens.
This list celebrates those glorious audio accidents that make you laugh, question your speakers, and maybe respect metal vocalists even more for making chaos sound that committed.
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Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica
Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side!
Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.
Ha! I bet James probably orders this at fast food restaurants!
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Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish
Actual lyric:
Master! Apprentice! Heartborne! 7th Seeker!
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You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth
At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of Holy Wars was "mercy, you know they'll take my balls away." Until reading the actual lyric, I thought it was "you try to take his boss."
Actual lyric: You try to take its pulse.
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Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween
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Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest
I would definitely want Rob Halford as a neighbor then.
All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant.
Actual lyric: Breaking the Law.
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Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath
The dark truth you wouldn't want to know about Santa Claus.
Actual lyric: Sail across the sea of lights.
Funnier than the gimme food one!
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Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden
PsychoStick did a song based on this called "Quack Kills." Pretty funny from a great band.
I have a constant fear that a "quack" is always near.
I can't unhear it.
Actual lyric: Fear of the Dark.
But the chorus with the misheard lyrics completely makes sense:
"Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia that someone's always there"
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I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah
Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance.
Vitamin water endorsement? Yeah, I like vitamins.
This lyric hurts my mind from being misheard like that. Wax in your ears much or powder?
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I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
B.O. means body odor. Actual lyric: I've gone beyond to seek the truth.
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Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica
Actual lyric: Innocence!
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Give this a try! - Get This, Slipknot
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I like… shredded… Wheat! - Chased Through the Woods By a R**ist, Waking the Cadaver
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My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer
Actual lyric:
Mindless tyranny, forgotten victims.
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As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica
Actual lyric: As I watch death unfold.
It's really funny because at the 1989 Grammy Awards, Metallica lost to Jethro Tull in the Hard Rock/Metal Performance category, even though Jethro Tull are neither metal nor hard rock.
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F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater
Actual lyric: Thought disorder.
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Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth
I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away."
I didn't know Megadeth was so passionate about animal control.
Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away.
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Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica
Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean!
I have no idea why I thought of that right when I was just listening to this song. I added this, by the way.
Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this?
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"Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish
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Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer
Actual lyric: Tighten the tourniquet around your neck.
Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics?
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He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica
I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica.
Actual lyric: He's not a man anymore. She sees the change in him.
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Dreams of dragon's fire and of baked apple pie - Enter Sandman, Metallica
Actual lyric:
Dreams of dragon's fire and of things that will bite.
Even though he said, "And of things that will bite," I prefer, "And a baked apple pie."
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Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
Life down there is just a strange illusion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Harold be thy name.
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Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater
How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie?
Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness
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Bring me a doughnut to the sauna - Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter, Iron Maiden
Actual lyric: Bring me your daughter to the slaughter.
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People eat bulls**t! - People = S**t, Slipknot
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There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush
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Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica
Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!
I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes." Weird.
When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard "burning hard, seducing queen" instead of "burning hard, loose and clean."