Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreen - it's a result of near-homophony that gives it a new meaning, often funny.
The Top Ten
1 Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica

Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side!

Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.

Ha! I bet James probably orders this at fast food restaurants!

Gimme fuel, gimme fire! Gimme me double Charizard!

2 Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish
3 You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth

At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of holy wars was "mercy you know they'll take my balls away"

And until reading the actual lyric I thought it was "you try to take his boss"

Actual lyric:
You try to take its pulse.

4 Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden

I can't unhear it...
Actual Lyric: Fear of the Dark
But the chorus with misheard lyrics completely makes sense:
"Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia that someone's always there"

PsychoStick did a song based on this called"Quack kills". Pretty funny from a great band

I have a constant fear a "quack" is always near.

5 Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween

Holy crap, this is funny

6 Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest

I don't know if it was you, Metal Treasure, or someone else that added the photo, but that is one of the funniest things I've seen on the site in a while!

I would definitely want Rob Halford as a neighbour then.

All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant.

Powder in your ears much?

7 I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
8 Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

The dark truth you wouldn't want to know about Santa Claus.

Funnier than the gimme food one!

9 Controlling bastard, I'll be your mustard! Mustard! - Master of Puppets, Metallica

Despite being one of my favorite songs of all time, these misheard lyrics are hilarious! I wonder who thought of that and I wonder if that spawned any memes.

James is always there for you when you're having hot dogs and there's no mustard.

McDonalds: What do you want on your burger?
James Hetfield: Mustard! Mustard!

Actual Lyric: Come crawling faster, obey your master! Master!

10 I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah

Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance.

This lyric hurts my mind of being misheard like that.Wax in your ears much or powder?

The Contenders
11 I'm baking a lemon inside you! - Glass Shatters, Disturbed

It's hard rock, guys. Chill out

12 Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica
13 My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer

...
Catch dozens, if you want
My name's Tony, I've got some bacon
Torrent lies from the pain
Regulate and watch me Mike soon
Only worth of the law
Gunshot
Gunshot
Seeking watches, oh Albus
Spicy salt fluids me
try to escape, but death's on my hand
Lies from the laboratory exist
Her I come, salmon's done
The hell will bewitch you
We do know herds to the sky
And listen to for steel
Gunshot
Gunshot

Actual Lyric:
Mindless tyranny, forgotten victims.

14 He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica

I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica.

15 F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater
16 As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica

Actual lyric: As I watch death unfold.
(it's really funny because in the 1989 Grammy Awards, Metallica lost out to Jethro Tull in the category hard rock and heavy metal, although Jethro Tull are neither metal nor hard rock, LOL.

17 Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden

Life down there is just a strange illusion
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Harold be Thy name

18 Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater

How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie?

Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness

19 Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth

I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away"..

Didn't know Megadeth were so passionate about the animal control.

Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away.

20 "Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish

Actual lyrics:
"Tragedienne of heavens / Watching the eyes of the night"

21 There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush
22 Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean! I have no Idea why I thought of that RIGHT when I was just listening to this song. I added this by the way.

Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this?

23 Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!
I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes". Weird.

When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard "burning hard, seducing queen" instead of "burning hard, loose and clean".

24 Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer

Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics?

25 Bring me a doughnut to the sauna - Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter, Iron Maiden
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