Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreen - it's a result of near-homophony that gives it a new meaning, often funny.
The Top Ten
1 Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica

Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side!

Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.

Ha! I bet James probably orders this at fast food restaurants!

2 Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish
3 You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth

At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of Holy Wars was "mercy, you know they'll take my balls away." Until reading the actual lyric, I thought it was "you try to take his boss."

4 Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween
5 Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

The dark truth you wouldn't want to know about Santa Claus.

Funnier than the gimme food one!

6 Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest

I would definitely want Rob Halford as a neighbor then.

All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant.

Rob would be great in the neighborhood. He would be the best lawn raker of all time.

7 Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden

PsychoStick did a song based on this called "Quack Kills." Pretty funny from a great band.

I have a constant fear that a "quack" is always near.

8 I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah

Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance.

Vitamin water endorsement? Yeah, I like vitamins.

This lyric hurts my mind from being misheard like that. Wax in your ears much or powder?

9 I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
10 Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica
The Contenders
11 As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica
12 He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica

I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica.

13 My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer
14 Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden
15 Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater

How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie?

Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness

16 People eat bulls**t! - People = S**t, Slipknot
17 There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush
18 F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater
19 Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth

I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away."

I didn't know Megadeth was so passionate about animal control.

Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away.

20 Pikachu’s a virgin! - Psychosocial, Slipknot
21 "Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish
22 Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean!

I have no idea why I thought of that right when I was just listening to this song. I added this, by the way.

Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this?

23 Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer

Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics?

24 Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!

I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes." Weird.

When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard "burning hard, seducing queen" instead of "burning hard, loose and clean."

25 Think of Batman pooping snakes. - You Can Fly, Jud Conlon Chorus and the Mellomen
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