Top 10 Signs an Album is Going to Suck

Bon Jovi's latest two albums are a great example. I like their 80s rock sound, but they became more of a pop-sounding band. I hate pop music and wish they had stuck to something more similar to their older stuff.

They've only had one semi-hit song since the 1990s, and that's because they've lost fans due to their transition to a different style of music.

Generation Swine - Mötley Crüe (1997).

X - Def Leppard (2002).

E.g., Father of All... by Green Day.

Death of a Ladies' Man by Leonard Cohen, which was produced by Phil Spector. Not only did a lot of fans feel like Spector's "wall of sound" didn't fit Cohen's songwriting style, but Cohen himself said recording the album with Spector was a very uncomfortable experience as he drank heavily and owned a lot of guns in his recording studio.

E.g., Hard Candy by Madonna, where she teamed up with Timbaland and The Neptunes. This was seen as a disappointing choice since Madonna often worked with relatively unknown producers (e.g., Mirwais, William Orbit, Stuart Price).

An exception would be "Song Machine Season 1: Strange Timez" by Gorillaz (2020). That album has at least one guest on every track, but it never feels phoned in or out of place because each guest complements Gorillaz's performance and is chosen carefully.

Albums with lots of guest features are usually overshadowed by their star powers or mostly feel unfocused, but that's not the case here.

E.g., No. 6 Collaborations Project by Ed Sheeran (2019).

Here are some examples:

LSD (the group with Labrinth, Sia, and Diplo) originally had their album set to release on November 2, 2018, but pushed it back to April 12, 2019.

Another example is Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday 2. It was pushed back multiple times. She originally planned to release it on October 20, 2023, then pushed it to November 17, and then postponed it again to her birthday.

Another example (even though I like this band and it's understandable) is Capsule. They originally planned to release their album World of Fantasy (originally called Killer Wave) on March 11, 2011, but pushed it back to May 23 or 25, 2011, due to the Tohoku earthquake.

I have nothing against sampling to a certain extent, but when it gets to the point that you rely on it, you're just being lazy or have bad producers.

Unless these samples are cleverly used or discreet, it shows how creatively bankrupt the artist may be.

Lemonade by Beyoncé used a lot of samples. Hung Up alone used four samples.

E.g., Revival by Eminem.

"Comeback albums" are generally hit or miss, but most of the time they feel like an obvious attempt to cash in on nostalgia, especially when a band was past its prime before its eventual hiatus. Sometimes reunion or anniversary tours are just enough.

- Second Coming by The Stone Roses (1994)
- Chinese Democracy by Guns N' Roses (2008)

E.g., Rush by Maneskin (2023). 17 tracks: tracks 1-12 in English, tracks 13-14 in Italian, and the singles "Mammamia," "Supermodel," and "The Loneliest" as the three last tracks.

Overall, it looks like a compilation and suggests a lack of cohesion. Most of these albums have the lead single(s) placed as the final track(s).

For example, PCD by The P****cat Dolls (2005): Tracks 1-6 are the singles (from "Don't Cha" to "I Don't Need a Man"), tracks 7-9 are pretty much filler (track 7 interpolates "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer, track 8 is a forgettable Diane Warren-penned ballad, and track 9 is a Destiny's Child ripoff), and tracks 10-12 are cover songs ("Right Now," "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?" and "Feeling Good").

Overall, this album, despite having a few bangers, is largely unfocused and sounds like a marketing product based on how the tracklist is structured. Not to mention, the covers were just plain unnecessary - especially "Feeling Good," where Nicole Scherzinger sounds like she's singing at some wedding reception with a jazz band.

Songs of Innocence by U2 (2014), which was uploaded to everyone's iPhones without their consent.

E.g., Music of the Spheres by Coldplay (a teaser revealed most of the songs before the album came out, which kind of ruined it in my opinion).

E.g., Changes by Justin Bieber.

Around half of the songs off of Falling In Reverse's upcoming album "Popular Monster" have already been revealed, and almost all of those are at least over a year old.

But what do you expect? It's from a band fronted by one of the biggest clowns in music, so it's pretty much guaranteed to suck. I could definitely see Fantano giving it a "not good" rating and even it being #1 on his worst albums of 2024. Hopefully, that spot will actually be deserving this time.

It ruins the pleasure of discovery and makes the album sound like a compilation.

How successful do you think The Death of Slim Shady would have been if the lead singles weren't Houdini and Tobey? His fans loved the return to his older material, which was a sign of a great album to come. If the song the artist wants everyone to associate with the album sucks, there's not much hope for the rest of the album.

E.g., "Woman's World" by Katy Perry. Not only was it critically panned for its reductive message and her choice to collaborate with Dr. Luke after he was accused of sexual misconduct, but it also tanked in the charts worldwide. This is definitely a sign that her upcoming album '143' is going to suck.

I think this is a better sign than the previous album being a masterpiece.

- Graffiti (2009) by Chris Brown (released during his probation after he beat Rihanna)

- Daystar (2020) by Tory Lanez (released when Tory was accused of shooting Megan Thee Stallion. He even addresses the controversy in the most exploitative way imaginable)

- Paula (2014) by Robin Thicke (released after his divorce with Paula Patton, who accused him of infidelity. His career was also crashing because of the brutal backlash "Blurred Lines" experienced due to its lyrics allegedly promoting rape culture and accusations of plagiarism)

This CAN be good, but it rarely is. MGK decided to do an emo rap album with Trippie Redd, and it sucked. Even his earlier stuff wasn't that bad (granted, I'm an Eminem fan, so I'm biased).

The same thing happens with older bands who make their music sound more "modern" or whatever. Just stick to what you know unless you're 100% sure it will work.

Victim of Love by Elton John (1979): He went disco when the genre was already declining in popularity and facing tremendous backlash.

Trans by Neil Young (1983): He went electronic.

Dee Dee Ramone recording a rap album in 1989 as Dee Dee King.

The Funky Headhunter by (MC) Hammer (1994): He turned to G-funk and gangsta rap.

E.g., Revival by Eminem.

E.g., Red Hot Chili Peppers' Return of the Dream Canteen. UL was pretty good, but sadly I have a feeling this one is gonna suck. Unlimited Love came out on April 1, 2022, and now it looks like we're getting another one six months later.

Luckily, some didn't disappoint, such as Ariana Grande with Thank U, Next.

I'm talking about rappers who are usually explicit and tone down the profanity in their lyrics in order to appeal to a wider audience.

This is an obvious sign that the artist is still nervous or insecure about sharing his new material, especially if it's a high-profile artist, because he's conscious it may divide a lot of people.

Or should I say, big magazines and websites such as Rolling Stone, Allmusic, or NME refusing to review the album. This is generally an indicator that the album might suck.

It can be tongue-in-cheek, or it can be a desperate cling for attention.

E.g., Music from the Elder by Kiss (1981). Concept albums are generally hit or miss. Sometimes they can be a testament to an artist's creativity and songwriting, but other times they can come off as pretentious and self-indulgent, lacking the bombast and musical depth they strive for, or just lack cohesion.

Kanye West just legally changed his name to "Ye". I have never gone through a full album of his but haven't heard very good things about his newer material.

E.g., Garth Brooks becoming Chris Gaines or Hammer dropping MC from his name.

Covers albums are usually nothing to be excited about. They are either an artistic recreation or a cash grab. In some countries, covers albums were a method for artists to relaunch their careers, but this trend has since fallen.

Luckily, there have been some solid covers albums recently, such as Delta Kream by the Black Keys.

Who wants to hear an album of a bunch of overplayed songs? Give me something original or give me death!

E.g., "Vanilla Ice Is Back" by Vanilla Ice (2008) or "Thank You" by Duran Duran (1995).