WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Beat It (Edit: SEAN KINGSTON, NOT MICHAEL JACKSON)

WonkeyDude98
Thank you, TheDoubleAgent. Unlike TDA, I don't think this is the worst song of the year, but it comes close by simply being the most flawed. Yes, there were worse songs that were less flawed. If anything this is one of the most faults I've seen in one song.

I never thought Sean Kingston could make a song worse than Eenie Meenie. But that song's biggest fault was the juvenile lyrics, it's nothing compared to this.

The beat by Nic Nac is the worst part. It's not even made by Mike WiLL Made-It, but it might as well be. There's this annoying synth that starts out high and descends, then there's this really huge bass drum that starts low and climbs upward. Combine that with the awkward descending screech halfway through every verse, and it seems like the song is closing in like a horror movie. At least his older stuff was bouncy and fun to make up for being so asinine.

Everyone here sounds TERRIBLE. Sean Kingston, what happened to you? How did you go from this goofy fat doofus who liked to have fun to a guy who sounds more generic than Rachel Platten talking about cheating with someone? Even his goofy grin is gone. Also, when did Chris Brown give you lessons on how to be annoying with autotune? Even with the autotune and whatever scraps there were of his accent, he's unrecognizable and barely a presence on the track. Speaking of C. Breezy, he's on this. Chris Brown. On a song called Beat It. Subtle (you can actually hear someone shouting "RIHANNA" right before Wiz Khalifa starts rapping. As Kingston is repeating "beat it" a million times. It also sounds really perfect). I wish death on every writer. Also, Wiz Khalifa is on this. Like the other two, he's not a presence in the song. He's also probably the best on this. Wiz Khalifa is the best artist on a song with more than two. I never thought I'd see the (show picture of 23) darn you Miley! I'll get to what this song reminds me of in the conclusion.

The lyrics are miserable. It's about these three meatheads helping a girl cheat on a guy. From the two guests it's expected...but Kingston? Didn't you like to have fun? Actually, all the lyrics are unlike him. "Got my eyes on green"? I refuse to believe this happened. I can't believe that you have fallen so far as to now only care about money and women...like every other singer and rapper. There's very little to be said. Except Wiz's verse...which rhymes "n***a" with itself twice and later says "If your p***y was a book I would read up on it". Even as a Wiz Khalifa hater I was unprepared for this.

I was unprepared for this even as a hater of ALL artists involved.

The video is oddly light for how dark the atmosphere is.

I give this a -1.5/5. There's no redeeming quality of this. Do you know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of Break Up. Horrifying beat, cocky tone, limp and non-catchy/danceable, and everyone involved looks like a jerk by the end. Michael Jackson would be terribly disappointed at these three jackoffs. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out of my personal favorite review since my debut.

Changed the title after there were more than 3 people thinking I bashed Michael Jackson's Beat It.

Comments

You scared me there. Actually thought it was Michael Jackson. - Martinglez

Michael Jackson's Beat It: 5/5 - WonkeyDude98

Same, actually. I was horrified to see MJ's "Beat It" to be raged at by WonkeyDude98. - visitor

Um... I am the only one who feels really uncomfortable that Chris Brown is in a song called "Beat It." - LJJ207

Listen closely right before Khalifa's verse... - WonkeyDude98

At first I thought this was MJ - bobbythebrony

Everyone di(e)d. - WonkeyDude98

I'm surprised TheDoubleAgent didn't even give a mention to Birthday by Selena Gomez in the exact same video, given that he once called it one of the 5 worst songs he's ever heard (the other 4 being Surrounded by Silence, Dope Peddler, Fack, and Teach Me How to Scream).

As for the song, I don't think it's Sean Kingston's worst (I'm gonna something truly abominable in order to take that crown away from Beautiful Girls), but it's still really terrible. - NiktheWiz

Maybe because it wasn't even a single? Just a guess. - PandaDude98

I guess, but still, Birthday has no redeemable qualities whatsoever. I can't think of a single song from 2013 that I would consider even close to worse, not 23, not We Can't Stop, not Gas Pedal, and not even U.O.E.N.O. or Karate Chop. - NiktheWiz

I'd still say Karate Chop and U.O.E.N.O. are worse than Birthday (as much as it solidly takes that #3), because those two were considered to be good enough to release to the general public. And while that excuse didn't apply for Trumpet Lights...Birthday teeters on the edge of a literal migraine instead of giving me one comfortably.

Also it didn't waste something like Sabrina Antoinette. - WonkeyDude98

When did he say that? What video - ProPanda

Ethan had another channel called WorstMusicofTheYear, where he did worst lists before becoming TheDoubleAgent. He said it in the The Top 4 Worst Birthday Songs in Recent Memory video. - NiktheWiz

That makes sense. I don't remember it because I learned that on TTT, we don't speak of WMOTY. - ProPanda

WorstMusicOfTheYear is, on an unironic level, one of the worst channels on YouTube. Even then, he's so cringey that even ironic enjoyment is scarce. - WonkeyDude98

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