My Top 10 Least Favorite Hit Songs of 2017

StarlightSpanks Yeah 2017 definitely has a whole lot of godawful songs. Was too lazy to do a complete Year-End ranking, so here I am.

Dishonorable Mentions:
5. Swang by Rae Sremmurd

Yeah I liked it at first for no reason at all... listened to it again after, now I see why it's terrible. Those parts when Swae Lee tries to hit those high notes... AAH THESE NEVER BE THE SAME FLASHBACKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

4. Bad and Boujee by Migos
"Bad and Boujee is a trap anthem about making money and spending time with women who have expensive taste - Genius.com
Yeah, the only thing this has going for it are those "Raindrop (drip), drop top (drop top)"'s.

3. Slippery by Migos
Ah, a classic Migos song. About drugs, jewelry, and apparently Quavo's aunts and uncles? Cool. Oh, and that intro sounds like it was never meant to be produced at all. Wait a second... IT SOUNDS LIKE THE WHOLE SONG WASN'T EVEN PRODUCED AT ALL.

2. Body Like A Back Road
That instrumental at the intro is alright, and I kinda like the laid-back style, but like tons of people said, those lyrics are the opposite of music.
"Had to get her number, took me like 6 weeks"
Meaning you've been stalking her for 6 weeks.
And I don't know who the heck would like their body compared to a back road.

1. Side To Side - Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj

Shouldn't have been included in this list but that's how much I loathe it, even though it's from 2016. The lyrics are utterly disgusting, Ariana sounds like Jacob Sartorius when she hits the high notes, and Nicki Minaj, as usual, is godawful. A whole lot of stupid lyrics like "D**k bicycle" and Nicki's "I-I" like in Stupid Hoe proves my point. Yeah, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's worse than Stupid Hoe. Would've been #2 here if it was more bent towards 2017.

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2017:

10. Do Re Mi - blackbear ft. Gucci Mane

Godawful lyrics, and what is the whole purpose of the "do re mi"'s? This shouldn't have made the year-end, but it did. Why? JUST WHY?

9. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur

Ah, the longest-staying song of 2017 from the Hot 100. The instrumental at the beginning is I guess alright...? Then James Arthur comes in with godawful lyrics, opposite-of-great vocals, and he makes it sound like Charlie Puth when he tries to hit high notes. Yes, literally that pathetic. Well, at least he tried, which is the reason that there's 8 songs worse than this.

8. Swalla - Jason Derulo ft. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign

I used to see Jason Derulo as a creepy and disgusting singer until that pop perfection known as Want To Want Me came out. While that's perfect, this is the exact opposite. Take 'Wiggle', except make it even more disgusting and add Nicki Minaj into it. The only thing this has going for it is the solid intro.

7. In Case You Didn't Know - Brett Young

Take "Say You Won't Let Go", except add nasal vocals and a chorus that isn't a chorus at all. Why did this have to be the 2nd biggest country song of 2017 and not quality country like "What Ifs"?

6. Now or Never - Halsey

Starting off with the first verse,.. what's up with that unnecessary breathing? And why does this have godawful lyrics? Bad At Love has garbage lyrics, but here she sounds completely effortless while in Bad At Love she actually tried and made something passable. And why does this sound like a rap song?

5. Caroline - Amine

This is probably the worst-produced song of 2017. Those chords-or-whatever-those-are in the background just come out like they want to punch you in the face. And why the heck does this guy think he can make this be anywhere close to the quality level of Billie Jean?

4. Rake It Up - Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj

Despite not being the worst rap of 2017, it's pretty close? Why? Simple, the lyrics. This can get VERY repetitive, as both "rake it up" and "f**k it up" are said at least 50 times each. Yes, 50 times. This is a sloppy, unfinished, atrocious disaster that I never want to hear of again.

3. Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black

Now, what's worse? The extremely absymal vocals or the fact that Kodak uses the beat to distract the audience from his rape accusations? Heck, I'd rather look at all the crimes this "rapper" has committed rather than hear this nonsense, AGAIN.

2. Issues - Julia Michaels

1) That intro sounds like something from the Pokemon anime that I used to watch about 3 years ago. 2) Those 1st 2 lines are just garbage and I don't wanna go into detail on them as that has been done before. 3) Those vocals in the chorus are irredeemable. So yeah, it deserves where it is.

1. LOOK AT ME! - XXXTENTACION

Y'all complain about how Jocelyn Flores is this dude's worst song, yet this is the real atrocity.
"Can't keep my d**k in my pants"
That line is a summary of what this whole song's about. And it's got an ENORMOUS amount of terrible lines, like:
"I gave her my d**k"
"She put her tongue on my d**k" (utterly disgusting)
"Got, like, three b*****s, I'm Mormon" (this manchild boasts about his sex life, in other words)
With all this yet THIS PEAKED AT 34 IN THE HOT 100 AND SOMEHOW MADE THE YEAR-END.

Aaaand that's it.

This is StarlightSpanks, signing out.

Comments

XXXTentacion made horrific music
Now Or Never sucked too - iliekpiez (1/14/2019)

Looking at this list again, tbh most of the stuff here and its placing still holds true for me, here's some reordering of the songs on this list that I'd probably edit in if I cared enough to:
Side To Side - DHM#5 (it's now a 2/5 from me, ignore the fact that it's still on my WOAT list on my profile, I haven't edited that in months)
Swang - somewhere around DHM#1 to low Top 10
Body Like A Back Road - #1 worst hit of 2017 (can't believe that I considered 'Meant To Be' to be worse than this, I mean yeah it's still generic but this is stupidity on a whole new level)
LOOK AT ME! - probably #7 or something like that, I now understand why people are cool with this but the production sounds very nasal to my ears, makes it hard for me to laugh at this at all - StarlightSpanks (8/5/2020)

Good list my biggest disagreement is maybe Issues I don't like it but I don't feel like it's as horrible as some of the others. - Powell (8/10/2020)

I mean, to me it doesn't even sound like a finished song at all, kinda like a 'changes' by XXXTENTACION type song, and I was kinda overreacting about the lyrics when I made this but the main message of this is still pointless and stupid
oh and also
"and one of them is how bad I need ya" - StarlightSpanks (8/10/2020)

Fair enough it is pretty dumb I just don't find that as bad as the offenses of Tunnel Vision or Rake It Up - Powell (8/10/2020)

Also my biggest agreement is moving BLABR to number 2. - Powell (8/11/2020)