Top 10 Worst Submarine Man Album Covers (Counting Both Full Albums and Singles)

If there's one other thing that Submarine Man has, in fact, ruined quite nearly as much as music itself, it's graphic design
The Top Ten
1 I Love The Smelly Feet

Once again, the image is HORRIBLY off-center (the main trio is placed WAY too far to the right, the Parental Advisory warning is placed likewise, the main title is placed WAY too far to the left, Lama Doodle's name is also placed a bit too far to the right as well, and Submarine Man himself doesn't even stand in the center of the main trio despite being the song's main artist; instead, Lama Doodle stands in the center despite having literally only ONE thing that he says in the entire song, and one that you only hear at the beginning and end OF the song at that)

The formation that the main trio is standing in SHOULD be Submarine Man giving Footye North and Lama Doodle a group hug, but instead is just Lama Doodle egotistically flexing his muscles and making a face like Tommy Wiseau on the cover of The Room while Sub Man and Footye just absentmindedly stare off into space "like" complete morons (with Sub Man in particular looking like he is half-asleep and is ...more

Best album cover ever made.

2 Submarine Boy Rules

Microsoft Paint and Drawception at their UGLIEST, ladies and gents; no more needs to be said
(you could even perhaps say that this image and its accompanying song both go WAY TOO FAR in deliberately being as atrociously horrible as humanly possible, TO THE point of it being completely beyond cringe-worthy in every way, and arguably have no justifiable RIGHT to even exist in the first place)

Lol it's so bad that it's good.

3 You're a Bad Boy (The Bad Boy)

Submarine Man is represented as his blurry, low-resolution Plotagon avatar while Lil Flexer is represented as a crisp, high-resolution cartoon ClipArt image of himself, with real-life king crowns being Photoshopped onto both of their heads just to make the visual contrast even MORE stomach-churningly awkward

The general layout of the "art" is blatantly asymmetrical (off-center) due to how cheaply and crudely its individual components were Photoshopped together; for example, Lil Flexer's profile bubble is too small and is placed WAY too far to the left, the platform (if you can even call it such a thing) that Submarine Man's dinosaur is standing on is slightly longer than the one that Lil Flexer's is standing on, the Parental Advisory warning is also placed too far to the left, and even the album's main title is placed notably too far to the right
The text that Submarine Man inserted into the image has no outlines on it and looks horrible, and the light-green color that he ...more

4 F*** All Does Lamas

A horribly drawn faux-Shel-Silverstein picture (with numerous insultingly blatant empty white specks of sloppily missing color on the upper part of its face, no less) of a giant, human-haired, ear-less and demon-eyed sock puppet of a llama's head, overlayed with an obviously cut-and-pasted cross-out-circle "NO" symbol...needless to say, I'm surprised that this visual abomination of an album cover DIDN'T actually make it into any of my recent nightmares

5 Let's Get Those Bottles

Once again, has many of the same issues as the Smelly Feet and Bad Boy covers:

The image's background is a complete over-cluttered cluster-truck of random, meaningless, puke-green nonsense, complete with a downright laughably horrible Photoshop overlay that has absolutely NO sense of visual proportions or perspective whatsoever (like, seriously; is Sub Man standing UP or lying DOWN here? And why are the background bottles roughly the size of his entire TORSO while the ones that he's throwing are merely normal-sized? Did Sub Man somehow SHRINK himself or what? )
Submarine Man once again has a HUGE amount of Photoshop color outline sloppily sticking out of himself (an outline of which the color, OF COURSE, is none other than bright sodding red, just like Lama Doodle's on the Smelly Feet cover), accompanied by yet MORE atrociously colored and HORRIBLY off-center text to signify what the song's and artist's titles are, with a great big heap of deplorable egotism also being ...more

6 Dog Walk

This album cover is ridiculously low-resolution and blurry, to the point where its background (which Submarine Man himself is made part of in favor of his DOG being made into the main star of the image, mind you) is pretty much COMPLETELY impossible to even see what is going on in; honestly, nothing more really needs to be said about this one

No his dog sounds are legendary. He is the GOAT dog!

7 Stinko Foot

Basically the NoStockingz cover except even MORE ludicrously egotistical, with Submarine Man depicting himself as a heavenly angel who is positioned (WAY too fracking far to the left, need I mention) as if he is smelling a clearly non-existent sock/foot with his left hand while furiously beating himself off with his right, and also appears to be pregnant despite being MALE; also, his facial expression in the process honestly wouldn't look even REMOTELY out of place on (an EXTREMELY constipated) Butt-Head from Beavis & Butt-Head

Foot fetishists deserve a better artist to represent their interests. After all, they got Tarantino.

8 War in the Stars

One of the shockingly many covers on this list that the corresponding song itself is actually even WORSE than (endless seven-second loop of "STAR WARS; IT'S A WAR IN THE STARS", anyone? Yeah, didn't think so)
Even without mentioning how bad the actual song is, however, the top part of this image needs some SERIOUS cropping; to say the LEAST, its forehead is most definitely showing

I used the base image in a science presentation once. I found it... On Google.

9 Socky

Color choice for the text is just plain horrible; font choices are awkward as Hell; background is yet another nauseatingly cluttered mess except that this time it's rainbow-colored just to make matters even WORSE to look at; song has yet ANOTHER Parental Advisory warning that CLEARLY shouldn't be there (the song is literally about a little kid pretending to be a giant living sock, and foot fetishism itself is also undeniably one of THE tamest kinks on the planet, at least when using one's feet to crush other living creatures isn't involved in it); NEXT

10 NoStockingz

Amateurishly Photoshopped (as always), pretentiously over-dramatic and egotistical to the EXTREME (Submarine Man depicting himself as a literal God watching over the Earth; narcissistic much? ), and also doesn't even bother to actually show Sub Man's (Plotagon avatar's) face; to be fair, however, at least the album's Deluxe cover fixes ONE of those issues

The Contenders
11 Barefoot Worlds
12 NoStockingz (Deluxe)

It's Submarine Man with his thumb on his nose and wiggling his fingers.

13 Mo Foota
14 Lama Poof!

A cheesy picture of what seems to be Submarine Man when he was younger

15 Feet are the Best
16 Sese
17 NoStockingz (Collector’s Edition)
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