Top Ten Fictional Weasels

Weasels? Weasels!

They are a mustelid species who are sometimes used in fiction centering around anthropormphic characters. Weasels very often play villainous roles, although rarely as main antagonists. They are often mischievous or even criminal, although their actions range from pulling off cons to sadistic violence. However, in some instances there also were positive weasel characters in which they were friends of the protagonists or are even the main characters themselves, although the latter is very rare.
The Top Ten
1 Smarty Weasel (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Be honest: you'd never have guessed the number one spot on my original version, right?

Even though it might surprise you a lot, I like Smarty Weasel quite a lot (SPOILER: and the fact that he dies in such a definite way unlike the other four Patrol weasels whose ghosts propably still are around is the only thing about this maginificent movie I'd change).

He has something that's just awesomely psychotic and sadistic, which combined to the fact that he appears as the most classy and collected of the pack has something morbidly fun.

Think about this:
This guy appears like he could have been somebody in Toon Town, wouldn't he have been a weasel. He obviously is cleverer than his patrol members, and can lead them, and he appears to be more tasteful (as seen by his clothes), but he nevertheless is basically a gangster, having been given permission to live out his twisted mind by an official force. But how did all of this behavior evolve? Although Jessica says it in the movie's most famous line, it's indicated toons aren't actually drawn but really live in this universe, and have a consciousness. After all, if they were really drawn, wouldn't they rather just draw the entire cartoon than first drawing the toon and letting them act the movie? And why would the Patrol exist? "Drawn" may be a toon's way of saying "born". That means... Smarty might have been born/drawn into a society that never gave him a proper chance because he is a weasel. He wasn't a toon actor... he just had no other way than being a thug. And he grew to love it.

2 Greasy Weasel (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Greasy is like the light version of Smarty. He isn't as intelligent (though not as dumb as some others) and also not as vile, he's more like the kind of hard boiled gangster henchman you'd expect from a film noir like "Roger Rabbit" basically is. He lets his gun talked, but is more direct and isn't strategic like Smarty is.

3 Psycho Weasel (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

This guy is just insane. Literally. He does contribute little to the movie other than looking completely mad, but this task is delivered outstandingly. The eyes, the straitjacket, the way he moves,... I am pretty sure if the movie wasn't PG this guy would have done some pretty gut wrenching stuff.

4 Wheezy Weasel (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Out of the Toon Patrol, he's the least outstanding member, and is basically just there to fulfill the stereotyoe of smoking characters of film noirs. It's the cheerleader effect: as a group of five, the Patrol looks pretty badass. But actually, Smarty, Greasy and Psycho are. The other two make them more colorful. However, Wheezy does it in a good way: he fits in. He's this rough, insensitive and straightforward gangster who would instantly beat someone up to get information. He is direct yet sane, the others are twisted.

5 Stupid Weasel (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Well... you see, Stupid Weasel is to the Patrol what Chris is to the Griffin family. He contributes nothing other than having zero intelligence. He's the one character that doesn't fit in at all and it makes no sense he is in the Patrol. Smarty is the thinker, the leader, the head. Greasy and Wheezy are the henchmen who execute and threaten, although the latter appears to play a lesser role than the first in the group. Psycho is probably the living torture device used to get information. But Stupid... he is just a dumb character who stands next to the others because 5 is a better number than 4.

Don't get me wrong: the Toon Patrol is beyond awesome and they are some of the most memorable secondary antagonists of cinema history who leave a bigger impression than the main villain. But Stupid is just... a throwaway character.

I included him because he belongs to the group, but... I don't like him all too much.

6 Buck (Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs)

I haven't seen the movie for a very long time but I do remember that somehow the new characters and the premise was somehow nonsensical but in a really fun and awesome way. I do remember Buck and that I liked him for some reason so why not include him?
Also: he's a weasel in a positive role, so points for that.

7 Duke Weaselton (Zootopia)

Fun fact: in the German dub of "Zootopia", Duke is voiced by "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? " host Armin Assinger, and is the only character with a strong Austrian accent. He's also the only one voiced by a celebrity and not a professional voice actor.

Definitely had too little screen time. Like Flash, he's a scene stealer. Mostly because they made good use of him being a weasel in the chase scene, which looks three times as furious as if it was a non-mustelid species.

8 Weasel Yokai (Inu Yasha)

Another minor character who deserved more screen time. He appears in only one episode, but his vile and blissfully creepy nature made him a memorable villain.

9 Dunglap (CatDog)

This was a last minute addition as I googled fictional weasels to make sure I forgot no one. I didn't knoe Dunglap was supposed to be a weasel, I assumed he was a rat. But nevertheless: he's a nice, harmless side character who is even somewhat of a wallflower, which is rare with weasels, so I'll just add him for that.

10 Daxter (Jak & Daxter)

Even though he is only half-weasel, he still counts. He is hilarious and it's nice to see a heroic weasel for a change instead of the same 'minor villain' role that most fictional weasels had for years.

The Contenders
11 The Weasel (Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide)

Okay, this show was among he funniest series I knew. It was trashy, it was cartoonish, it was over the top, and it knew that it was and celebrated every second of its own silliness.
The weasel constantly appears with Gordy chasing it to get it out of school, even though it became something like the school's inofficial mascot.
This is the only non-anthropomorphic weasel on my original remix.

12 Wacky Weasel (Bonkers)

I don't know him or the show. But I know that it is generally assumed he was inspired by the Toon Patrol. And he's a weasel. I don't see a reason not to include him.

13 I. M. Weasel (I am Weasel)
14 Buizel Buizel, known in Japan as Buoysel, is a Pokémon species in Nintendo and Game Freak's Pokémon franchise.

Known as the Sea Weasel Pokemon.

15 Floatzel Floatzel, known in Japan as the same name, is a Pokémon species in Nintendo and Game Freak's Pokémon franchise.
16 Chief Weasel (The Wind in the Willows)
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