Top 10 Funny Music Definitions

The Top Ten

1 Interval: How long it takes to find the right note

2 Beat: What music students do to each other with their instruments

There are 2 types of beats: 1) Down beat - it is performed on top of the head; 2) Up beat is struck under the chin.

3 Perfect pitch: When you throw a banjo in the bin and it lands on an accordion

4 Falsetto: How you sound when get kicked in the balls

Examples - Kind Diamond, Bee Gees.

5 Passing tone: Fart

6 Perfect fifth: A full bottle of Jack Daniel's

7 Cadence: When everybody hopes you're going to stop but you don't

8 Diminished fifth: An empty bottle of Jack Daniel's

9 Coloratura soprano: A singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it

10 Clarinet: your lowest net income

The Contenders

11 Successful musician: a guy whose wife has 2 jobs

12 Relative minor: A girlfriend

This doesn't surprise me in the least.

13 Big band: When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players

14 Diatonic: Low-calorie Pepsi

15 Supertonic: Red Bull

16 Staccato: How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home

17 French horn: Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.

18 Music: Sounds arranged by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor and ignored by the audience

19 Scale: Device for weighing the horn section

20 Chromatic scale: An instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds

21 Allegro: Leg fertilizer

22 Conductor: The man who punches your ticket to New York

23 Bossa nova: The new car your boss drives

24 Bagpipers: Musicians who walk when they play to get away from the noise they make

25 Autotuna: a fish that needs help with his or her vocals

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