Top 10 Funny Music Definitions

Metal_Treasure

The Top Ten

1 Interval: How long it takes to find the right note

There are 3 types of Intervals:
1) Major interval: a long time
2) Minor interval: a few bars
3) Inverted interval: when you have to go back a bar and try again. - Metal_Treasure

2 Beat: What music students do to each other with their instruments

There are 2 types of beats: 1) Down beat - it is performed on top of the head; 2) Up beat is struck under the chin. - Metal_Treasure

3 Perfect pitch: When you throw a banjo in the bin and it lands on an accordion
4 Falsetto: How you sound when get kicked in the balls

Examples - Kind Diamond, Bee Gees. - Metal_Treasure

5 Passing tone: Fart
6 Perfect fifth: A full bottle of Jack Daniel's
7 Cadence: When everybody hopes you're going to stop but you don't
8 Diminished fifth: An empty bottle of Jack Daniel's
9 Coloratura soprano: A singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it
10 Clarinet: your lowest net income

The Contenders

11 Successful musician: a guy whose wife has 2 jobs
12 Relative minor: A girlfriend

This doesn't surprise me in the least. - Britgirl

13 Big band: When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players
14 Diatonic: Low-calorie Pepsi
15 Supertonic: Red Bull
16 French horn: Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.
17 Music: Sounds arranged by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor and ignored by the audience
18 Scale: Device for weighing the horn section
19 Chromatic scale: An instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds
20 Allegro: Leg fertilizer
21 Staccato: How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home
22 Conductor: The man who punches your ticket to New York
23 Bossa nova: The new car your boss drives
24 Bagpipers: Musicians who walk when they play to get away from the noise they make
25 Autotuna: a fish that needs help with his or her vocals
26 Black metal musician: a musician who's got less sympathizers than a terrorist
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