Top 10 Chess Openings with the Wackiest and Weirdest Names

I'm no judge when it comes to the strategy between white and black, but the names of these chess openings are so funny and wacky alongside my obsession of chess that I think this will be a worthy list to make. I may note some strategies though not too deep in detail. Not all of these openings are bad, just some in my opinion. Some I may even use in chess.
The Top Ten
1 Coca Cola Gambit

Never knew that this gambit existed and that it is an actual thing. Economically speaking, in the future, battling brutally against Pepsi, I sense this would be their last line of defense before going bankrupt and being put out of business.

So anyway, this starts with 1. g4 g5 2. f4. It is some ridiculous version of the Grob Opening: double Grob. I don't even plan to use this, really, because I would rather dominate the center than play some stupid gambit of the Grob. Besides, I haven't used the Grob Opening for a while.

2 Caro Kann: Hillbilly Attack

1. e4 c6 (Caro-Kann Defense) 2. Bc4. This chess opening made me laugh out loud for several minutes because of how funnily absurd the name is. The visualization of hillbillies and the correlation of what kind of attack it is makes it funnier.

To be honest, I kind of want to use this attack just to simply annoy Caro-Kann players. Yet, Magnus Carlsen used the attack in the 2015 World Blitz Championship. So what could go tactically wrong with the aggressive Hillbilly Attack?

3 Drunken Knight Attack / Amar Opening

It only takes the knight one move, and that is Nh3. Yet, this breaks the same fundamental principle of chess: controlling the center. This results in poor development and a waste of time. The saying goes: "A knight on the rim is dim." Not a great opening for beginners or, rather, for any chess player.

I still call it the Ammonia Attack rather than Amar and Drunken Knight because it's so whimsically hilarious to say this every time.

4 Banzai-Leong Gambit

Starts with 1. e4 e6 2. b4. When I see this gambit, I am reminded of the favored spot of the Evan's Gambit, which makes it the French version of the Evan's Gambit. The gambit looks quite weird and might confuse some chess players, including advanced ones (I hope).

To be honest, I definitely want to use this to possibly throw my opponent off guard and to find a good gambit against the French Defense because as of 7/17/21 I am really annoyed when I have to face the French Defense.

5 Fried Fox/ Pork Chop opening

1. f3 e5 2. Kf2. This further convinces me that Thomas Wilson may be the weirdest and worst chess theoretician in the entirety of the chess world and its history. I don't even want to know the origin of its wacky name other than Barnes' eating style before he went on a diet.

Sorry, Barnes, but at least I have a bit of respect for him challenging the legend Paul Morphy.

6 The Monkey's Bum

Starts out with 1. e4 g6 2. Bc4 Bg7 3. Qf3 e6 4. d4 Bxd4. This is the one and only odd variation of the Modern Defense, where it was created by British IM Nigel Povah in the early '70s. The origin of the name came from the creator himself when he famously uttered this: "If this works, then I'm a monkey's bum." Hence the name has been stuck ever since.

Yet the opening is highly playable. Despite the name and all, I will give this variation a try sometime when the opportunity arises.

7 Nescafe Frappe Attack
8 The Frankenstein-Dracula Variation

This opening is just badass. In this opening, White has its pawn taken. To reclaim the pawn, White must first take the knight. Yeah, I know you think that Black has wasted a knight for a pawn, but this isn't true. Black just responds by going d5, which skewers both White's bishop and knight. Once White loses one of these pieces, White can now reclaim a pawn.

A true vicious eye-for-an-eye attack that can only hint at the further aggression ahead. This variation truly demonstrates just how brutal the Vienna Game actually is.

9 Sodium/ Durkin attack

Simply putting the knight to Na3. Hence the name Sodium Attack and hence the saying "A knight on the rim is dim." The Sodium Attack and Ammonia Attack will make great companions in irregular chess openings. Some say it could later win games for White, but as a chess learner, I have to heavily disagree with that. Maybe my mind will change later.

10 The Toilet Variation

Starts with 1. e4 c5 2. f4 d5 3. Nc3. Legend has it that the opening was formulated by some Sicilian Grand Prix player while in the restroom. Hence its crappy name. To me, this seems like a weird yet hopeless opening for White.

The Contenders
11 The Hippopotamus Defense

It's aggressive, like the Frankenstein-Dracula.

12 Black Knights' Tango

Starts with 1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 Nc6. I wouldn't consider this to be a bad opening, but I will keep this opening in mind when it comes to a special treat for d4 players, minding less of the Mexican jokes and all.

13 The Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Variation
14 Bongcloud Opening
15 Fried Liver Attack
16 Flick-Knife Attack
17 Rapport-Jobava System
18 Rat Defense, English Rat
19 Goldsmith Defense

This opening is probably the least understood in terms of theory. Probably Black's rarest response to e4.

20 The Orangutan
21 Tortoise Opening
22 Williams Gambit
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