Top Ten Phil Dunphy Quotes

Phil Dunphy is the lovable and aloof father character on Modern Family. Being the father of two girls and a boy, husband of a controlling, perfectionist wife, and son-in-law of a macho father, he has his choice of subjects to philosophize over.

Some of his best quotes come in the forms of life lessons that he passes on to his kids. In the T.V. series, he even has a book called "Phil's-osophy" in which he covers some general points to live by.

These are the best Phil Dunphy quotes from the show Modern Family.

The Top Ten

1 That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

This is the sort of thing you'll get from Phil quite often.

2 I was gonna tell Claire about the dog. I was just waiting until she was in the right mood. Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago… but I cashed that in for something else.

Who hasn't done that same thing? Gotta take advantage when you can.

3 I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers; it turns out I’m one of them. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up a stripper.

Not a good image...

4 So Laura’s trying to test me? Bring it on. I’ve been tested my entire life. They could never find anything.

I don't know this show, but this is funny. - PositronWildhawk

We've often tried to figure that out about our friends...

5 I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.

Perfectly suited for any father.

6 Alex is teaching herself Chinese so she’ll be useful when they finish buying us.

... or the Saudis, or the many other countries who own the US...

7 Cheerleading in my college was cool. The football players were so jealous they wouldn’t even let me and my buddies, Trevor, Scotty and Ling go to their parties.

That's what I tell myself too. They're just jealous.

8 I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.

We all have someone out of our league...

9 Whoa that warmer drawer really works. It's like my mom's hugging my feet again.
10 Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.

Who hasn't done that?

The Contenders

11 Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunpheat.
12 You don't trust bad boys and yet you married one.
13 Seriously though a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his Quidditch broom? How Hufflepuff is that?
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