Top 10 Songs to Play When Old People Say "Back in My Days, Music and Lyrics Were Better"

Metal_Treasure
Probably most of you have heard it in your real life - "back in my days, music and lyrics were better" (*sigh*).
If you haven't heard it in your real life, you probably have read it on this site or somewhere else (if you have read enough comments).

OK, let's hear some "masterpieces" released before 1980.

The Top Ten

1 Philosophy of the World - The Shaggs

This is outsider music. - djpenquin999

Best song ever! Oh, sorry, 1st of april will be only 5 days later... - somekindofaguy

Listing this obscurity is trying just a little too hard to be "edgy", since it got zero airplay, zero chart visibility back then, and is known only because it was revived by Dr. Demento and his quest for weird novelty records.

Imagine the drums of a song from the 60s that you like. Then get the guitar from another song from that time. Do it again for vocals, and you can see what this song sounds like.

Fine intro to outsider music.

EDIT: Remember, it's not in sync. - djpenquin999

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2 A to Z Blues - Blind Willie McTell

Most brutal song ever written - somekindofaguy

1956. Lyrics put all rappers and death metal bands to shame. Modern musicians don't know 4 different ways of cutting heads - 2 max. I have no space for the entire song but he carves the whole alphabet:
"I'm gonna cut your head four different ways;
That's long, short, deep and wide.
When I get a rhythm of this rusty black handle razor;
you're gonna be booked out for an ambulance ride;
Cause I'm gonna cut A, B, C, D on top of your head;
That's gonna be treating you nice like mama you ain't gonna be dead.
I'm gonna cut E, F, G right across your face;
H, I, J, K, that's where runnin' bound to take place;
Cut L, M, N cross both your arms;
You'll sell an' peddle gal your whole life long;
Cut N, O, P, Q that's gonna be trouble too;
Cause I'm gonna grab you mama and turn you every way but loose;
Cut R, S, T to hear you cry" - Metal_Treasure

3 Shave 'Em Dry II - Lucille Bogan

Haha, the lyrics I submitted are so explicit that it will take time to be reviewed. In the meantime just play the song sample. I am blushing... "I got somethin' between my legs that'll make a dead-man come". - Metal_Treasure

4 Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton

Ahh, I see... there are too many birds surrounding her... but I still can hear that she isn't one of the songbirds. - Metal_Treasure

5 Butcher Pete - Roy Brown

A song with violent, sexually explicit and gay lyrics (1950).
"Ever since Peter flew into town;
He's been havin' a ball;
Just cuttin' and choppin' for miles around;
Single women, married women, old maids and all.
…The police put Pete in jail;
Yes, he finally met his faith;
But when they came to pay his bail;
They found him choppin' up his cellmate." - Metal_Treasure

6 I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross

1965. Haha, is this a song or a radio play? It's more like voice acting than singing (plus some special effects). I am sure you don't wanna miss this song - it's routinely considered one of the worst records of all time. - Metal_Treasure

7 Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland
8 Cool for Cats - Squeeze

A disco song released in 1979. Annoying because it's silly. - Metal_Treasure

Terrible its trash

9 Boogie Chillen' - John Lee Hooker

@somekindofaguy - haha, I know exactly what you mean. I am pretty sure that the "visitor", commonly known on this site as "the troll", likes many songs on this list (he's 60+ years old). This explains why he called Sacred Worlds by Blind Guardian... "gawd-awful monotony". What?!? Sacred Worlds monotonous? This "visitor" needs hearing aid asap. And yeah, he hates metal the most but also Queen, Freddie, rap, pop and many more. - Metal_Treasure

And mostly people who like this say "metal isn't music"... - somekindofaguy

Blues is probably my favourite genre, yet I think metal is still music. - BrianScott01

Monotonous?! Gawd-awful?! You may be confusing it for laidback and chilled ;). Personally, as a *ahem* "more mature" woman, I rather love it. - Britgirl

PS. The song sample is NOT the version of the song I am talking about. I mean the original version of 1948.
On youtube it is available as: John Lee Hooker Boogie Chillen original 1948 version (uploaded by SonoranDub). - Metal_Treasure

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10 Whoopee Blues - King Solomon Hill

1932.
"Tell me you been gone all day, that you may make whoopee all night;
I'm gonna take my razor and cut your late hours;
You wouldn't think I'd be servin' you right.
I said, Undertaker been here and gone, I gave him your height and size;
You be making' whoopee with the Devil in Hell tomorrow night.
Baby, you done made me love you, now I got me for your slave;
From now you'll be making' whoopee, deep in your lonesome grave." - Metal_Treasure

The Contenders

11 The Crumble Song - Lorraine Bowen
12 All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth - Spike Jones

Another novelty favorite of Dr. Demento, and a Christmas song to boot.

13 Yummy, Yummy, Yummy - Ohio Express

This is really interesting - oral sex and Kinder chocolate, LOL - Metal_Treasure

This song is about oral sex. Back in 1968 they had to disguise it, but most every teenager knew.

With that knowledge, it's kind of weird this song is used in a German commercial for Kinder chocolate. - Martin_Canine

1968. It was number 5 in the UK, number 4 on the U.S Billboard pop singles chart, and was popular in Canada, too. - Metal_Treasure

14 Why - Yoko Ono

Yes, Martin, this sounds very bad to me, too... - Metal_Treasure

I actually like this album and song. It's so crazy and weird, but still groovy. But this song is always good for what the f moments^^ - Martin_Canine

15 Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band
16 Mad Mama Blues - Josie Miles

It's not that the lyrics are bad... but they are foreshadowing horrorcore and gangsta rap. - Martin_Canine

1924.
"Now I could see blood runnin';
Through the streets;
Could be everyone;
Layin' dead right right at my feet. Give me gunpowder;
Give me dynamite;
Yes I'd wreck the city;
Wanna blow it up tonight.
I took my big Winchester;
Down off the shelf;
When I get through shootin';
There won't be nobody left. - Metal_Treasure

17 Slap 'er Down Agin Paw - Arthur Godfrey

The song title can also be written as Slap Her Down Again Paw, but anyway, this song is the worst 40s song I've ever heard. The title can already completely explain what the song is about. - Element119

18 Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups
19 Disco Duck - Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots

A mid-70s song. - Metal_Treasure

20 Rubber Biscuit - The Chips

This song is just terrible. Just look it up and listen to it. - Element119

21 Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp? - Barry Mann

And this, well, it's just as bad as Rubber Biscuit. Torture to listen to. - Element119

22 22-20 Blues - Skip James

"But I get my 22-20;
I cut that woman half in two;
Your.38 Special;
Buddy, it's most too light;
But my 22-20;
Will make ev'rything, alright; - Metal_Treasure

23 You'se a Viper - Stuff Smith

1936. A song about drugs.
"Talk about a reefer of five feet long Not too fat and not too strong
You get high, but not for long
If you'se a viper

Now I'm the king of everything
Got to get high for to sing
Light that tee and we will see
If you'se a viper

When coke gets dry you know you're high" - Metal_Treasure

24 Bell Song - Florence Foster Jenkins

Thanks to whoever added this - I gave a listen to the sample only but yeah, it's awful. - Metal_Treasure

25 Like a Bird - Florence Foster Jenkins
26 Ich Wollt Ich WÄR Ein Huhn - Lilian Harvey & Willy Fritsch

The title translates to "I Wish I Was a Chicken", and the lyrics are about why it is great to be chicken, including not having to go to work, not having much to do except for laying eggs and being happy and stupid.
Out of all comparisons to birds... why a chicken? - Martin_Canine

27 I've Got the Yes! We Have No Bananas Blues - Eddie Cantor
28 Frownland - Captain Beefheart

The whole album sounds like this audio sample here... and it's got 5 out of 5 stars ol almost every website. Can someone explain it to me? - Martin_Canine

29 I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevey
30 I'm Henry VIII I Am - Herman's Hermits
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List Stats

30 listings
1 year, 142 days old

Top Remixes

1. Philosophy of the World - The Shaggs
2. A to Z Blues - Blind Willie McTell
3. Shave 'Em Dry II - Lucille Bogan
Metal_Treasure
1. Butcher Pete - Roy Brown
2. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland
3. A to Z Blues - Blind Willie McTell
wrests

WRemix

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