Top 10 Songs to Play When Old People Say "Back in My Days, Music and Lyrics Were Better"

Probably most of you have heard it in your real life - "back in my days, music and lyrics were better" (*sigh*).
If you haven't heard it in your real life, you probably have read it on this site or somewhere else (if you have read enough comments).

OK, let's hear some "masterpieces" released before 1980.

The Top Ten

Philosophy of the World - The Shaggs Philosophy of the World - The Shaggs Cover Art

This is outsider music. - djpenquin999

Best song ever! Oh, sorry, 1st of april will be only 5 days later...

Listing this obscurity is trying just a little too hard to be "edgy", since it got zero airplay, zero chart visibility back then, and is known only because it was revived by Dr. Demento and his quest for weird novelty records.

Dear god my ears... their bleeding on the inside.

A to Z Blues - Blind Willie McTell A to Z Blues - Blind Willie McTell Cover Art

Most brutal song ever written

1956. Lyrics put all rappers and death metal bands to shame. Modern musicians don't know 4 different ways of cutting heads - 2 max. I have no space for the entire song but he carves the whole alphabet:
"I'm gonna cut your head four different ways;
That's long, short, deep and wide.
When I get a rhythm of this rusty black handle razor;
you're gonna be booked out for an ambulance ride;
Cause I'm gonna cut A, B, C, D on top of your head;
That's gonna be treating you nice like mama you ain't gonna be dead.
I'm gonna cut E, F, G right across your face;
H, I, J, K, that's where runnin' bound to take place;
Cut L, M, N cross both your arms;
You'll sell an' peddle gal your whole life long;
Cut N, O, P, Q that's gonna be trouble too;
Cause I'm gonna grab you mama and turn you every way but loose;
Cut R, S, T to hear you cry" - Metal_Treasure

Shave 'Em Dry II - Lucille Bogan Shave 'Em Dry II - Lucille Bogan Cover Art

Haha, the lyrics I submitted are so explicit that it will take time to be reviewed. In the meantime just play the song sample. I am blushing... "I got somethin' between my legs that'll make a dead-man come". - Metal_Treasure

Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton Cover Art

Ahh, I see... there are too many birds surrounding her... but I still can hear that she isn't one of the songbirds. - Metal_Treasure

Butcher Pete - Roy Brown Butcher Pete - Roy Brown Cover Art

A song with violent, sexually explicit and gay lyrics (1950).
"Ever since Peter flew into town;
He's been havin' a ball;
Just cuttin' and choppin' for miles around;
Single women, married women, old maids and all.
…The police put Pete in jail;
Yes, he finally met his faith;
But when they came to pay his bail;
They found him choppin' up his cellmate." - Metal_Treasure

I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross Cover Art

1965. Haha, is this a song or a radio play? It's more like voice acting than singing (plus some special effects). I am sure you don't wanna miss this song - it's routinely considered one of the worst records of all time. - Metal_Treasure

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland Cover Art
Cool for Cats - Squeeze Cool for Cats - Squeeze Cover Art

A disco song released in 1979. Annoying because it's silly. - Metal_Treasure

Terrible its trash

Boogie Chillen' - John Lee Hooker Boogie Chillen' - John Lee Hooker Cover Art

And mostly people who like this say "metal isn't music"...

Blues is probably my favourite genre, yet I think metal is still music. - BrianScott01

Monotonous?! Gawd-awful?! You may be confusing it for laidback and chilled ;). Personally, as a *ahem* "more mature" woman, I rather love it.

PS. The song sample is NOT the version of the song I am talking about. I mean the original version of 1948.
On youtube it is available as: John Lee Hooker Boogie Chillen original 1948 version (uploaded by SonoranDub).

A song of 1948. I mean the original version of 1948 and not the version that appears on the sample here. Read my PS. comment.
It's probably the most monotonous song I have ever heard.
This gawd-awful monotony almost killed me within the first minute. And nothing changed by the end of the song - neither the annoying riff nor the repulsive thing supposed to be "singing". This guy wasted 3 whole minutes of my precious life. Actually 3:10 minutes!
Repetitiveness in some modern rap and pop songs comes very close to this but you see that modern monotony is based on a long tradition.

Whoopee Blues - King Solomon Hill Whoopee Blues - King Solomon Hill Cover Art

1932.
"Tell me you been gone all day, that you may make whoopee all night;
I'm gonna take my razor and cut your late hours;
You wouldn't think I'd be servin' you right.
I said, Undertaker been here and gone, I gave him your height and size;
You be making' whoopee with the Devil in Hell tomorrow night.
Baby, you done made me love you, now I got me for your slave;
From now you'll be making' whoopee, deep in your lonesome grave." - Metal_Treasure

The Contenders

The Crumble Song - Lorraine Bowen The Crumble Song - Lorraine Bowen Cover Art
All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth - Spike Jones All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth - Spike Jones Cover Art

Another novelty favorite of Dr. Demento, and a Christmas song to boot.

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy - Ohio Express Yummy, Yummy, Yummy - Ohio Express Cover Art

This is really interesting - oral sex and Kinder chocolate, LOL - Metal_Treasure

This song is about oral sex. Back in 1968 they had to disguise it, but most every teenager knew.

With that knowledge, it's kind of weird this song is used in a German commercial for Kinder chocolate. - Martin_Canine

1968. It was number 5 in the UK, number 4 on the U.S Billboard pop singles chart, and was popular in Canada, too. - Metal_Treasure

Why - Yoko Ono Why - Yoko Ono Cover Art

Yes, Martin, this sounds very bad to me, too... - Metal_Treasure

I actually like this album and song. It's so crazy and weird, but still groovy. But this song is always good for what the f moments^^ - Martin_Canine

Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band Cover Art
Mad Mama Blues - Josie Miles Mad Mama Blues - Josie Miles Cover Art

It's not that the lyrics are bad... but they are foreshadowing horrorcore and gangsta rap. - Martin_Canine

1924.
"Now I could see blood runnin';
Through the streets;
Could be everyone;
Layin' dead right right at my feet. Give me gunpowder;
Give me dynamite;
Yes I'd wreck the city;
Wanna blow it up tonight.
I took my big Winchester;
Down off the shelf;
When I get through shootin';
There won't be nobody left. - Metal_Treasure

Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups Cover Art

The sad thing is it is not just older people there are so many younger users who say oh music was so much better back then...

Slap 'er Down Agin Paw - Arthur Godfrey

The song title can also be written as Slap Her Down Again Paw, but anyway, this song is the worst 40s song I've ever heard. The title can already completely explain what the song is about. - Element119

Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen Cover Art

Silly novelty song in '63? Hell yeah! - JoLeKosovo

Revolution 9 - The Beatles Revolution 9 - The Beatles Cover Art

I don't like this song either, BUT IT IS BETTER THAN JUSTIN BEIBER CRAP

Killing in the Name - Rage Against the Machine Killing in the Name - Rage Against the Machine Cover Art

I like this song , BETTER THAN ARIANA GRANDE CRAP

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana Cover Art

I like this song, BETTER THAN BTS CRAP

Disco Duck - Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots

A mid-70s song. - Metal_Treasure

Rubber Biscuit - The Chips Rubber Biscuit - The Chips Cover Art

This song is just terrible. Just look it up and listen to it. - Element119

Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp? - Barry Mann Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp, Bomp? - Barry Mann Cover Art

And this, well, it's just as bad as Rubber Biscuit. Torture to listen to. - Element119

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