Top Ten Songs in a Proctologist's Playlist

I really had to dig (ahem) deep to find songs to fit this list nicely. If you would like a hand in this list, feel free to add more - there's plenty of room.

The Top Ten

1 Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

Fat bottomed girls make the rocking' world go round.

Hugh Jass 'n' Jack Ass wanted me to thank you for cramming so much humour into the back doors of this list. They would have thanked you personally but they have to be up at the crack of Dawn (or Dawn's crack to be more poetic ;). - Britgirl

Always a preasure an' a plivilege, ma'am. Cause in the end (oops), I cram what I am (Ah just don't give a damn;).

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2 Hurt - Johnny Cash UListen to Sample
3 It Hurts Me Too - Elmore James UListen to Sample
4 Losing Hand - The Paul Butterfield Blues Band

Double glove, baby... Double glove.

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5 My Humps - The Black Eyed Peas UListen to Sample
6 Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club

Dunno. How much do it pay? :).

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7 Down in a Hole - Alice in Chains UListen to Sample
8 Pain In the Ass - Nina Kraviz & Alex Kid

...Which you definitely are not. You deposit the funniest of comments into the toilet bowl of life and manage to get away with it (by the seat of your pants) Have yourself a crack-in' day ;). - Britgirl

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9 Cheek to Cheek - Fred Astaire UListen to Sample
10 Let Me In - R.E.M. UListen to Sample

The Contenders

11 Keep on Smilin' - Wet Willie

Through embarrassment and gritted teeth :). - Britgirl

Odd place to have teeth:).

Hmm... Odd place to have teeth:).

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12 All of Me - Ruth Etting

Lol What a funny list! - Ananya

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13 Baby Come Back - Player

Gorgeous song. How did this one find its way here? - Britgirl

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14 Hemorrhoids - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners UListen to Sample
15 Bend Me, Shape Me - The American Breed

Go ahead. Say it. I dare ya:).

"...Bend me, shape me, any way you want me..." :). - Britgirl

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16 The Things We Do for Love - 10cc UListen to Sample
17 Back in the Saddle Again - Gene Autry

Yup. Just can't get enough of the feel of hot, worn out leather :). - Britgirl

"Lucky whore's shoe"...haha...I have tears in my eyes.. Ahh... *manic laughter can be heard off-set* ;D - Britgirl

Nope. Not t'day, Doc. Cain't seem t'find mah lucky whore's shoe;).

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18 Backfield in Motion - Mel and Tim UListen to Sample
19 Turn Around, Look at Me - The Vogues

GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST! It's like a two-headed coin!

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20 Havin' a Real Bad Day - Taj Mahal

"DEEP in the pocket of a real old goat.. er, coat."

"Deep in the... pocket... of a real old goat... er, coat."

"Good mornin' Miss Brown, mama how do you do? " Okay, perhaps not the best choice of colors; but hey, I didn't write it:).

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21 Let Me In - The Sensations

Just. Too. Good.

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22 Oom Pah Pah - Oliver! UListen to Sample
23 Havana Moon - Geoff & Maria Muldaur

I get it! Well, not actually "get it"...I mean I do but I don't. Not for a while at least :). - Britgirl

"Havin' a moon." Git it? :).

"Havin' a moon." Git it? :).

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24 Let Me Put My Love Into You - AC/DC UListen to Sample
25 Back Door Man - Howlin' Wolf

Extremely pretentious term for the lesser Colorectal Surgeon. - Britgirl

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26 Walkin' Thru the Park - Muddy Waters

What're all these damned birds doing' in here? You a magician?

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27 Up & Down the Avenue - Charlie Musselwhite

Love this song but now I just can't get a certain image out of my head. Haha. - Britgirl

"Slippin' 'n' slidin'..."

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28 Pucker Up Buttercup - Jr. Walker & The All Stars

Uh, no, no... I took a wrong turn... Thought this was a cigar lounge... Ya know, I feel much, much better... I... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, BUTT MAN!

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29 Searchin' - The Coasters

They're deep in the pocket of a real old, coat and I remember I lost my hand last time trying to grab hold of them :). - Britgirl

Help me find my keys and we'll drive outta here;).

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30 Lookin' Out My Back Door - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Would a smile from across the miles help? :). - Britgirl

I see the clock on the wall. It say last call... for alcohol. (Gonna take more'n a beer t'wipe this tear:(.

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31 Meet Me in the Bottom - Howlin' Wolf

"Bring me my runnin' shoes" (an' a good flashlight:).

32 The Sheik Yerbouti Tango - Frank Zappa UListen to Sample
33 Rocket Man - Elton John

Nope. Won't say it. Would be insensitive. Unseemly. Tawdry... Aw, hell... BLAST OFF!

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34 (Here Comes) Peter Cottontail - Gene Autry

Nothing further, Your Honor.

35 Rescue Me - Fontella Bass UListen to Sample
36 You Can't Hurry Love - The Supremes

You kin if "the old man is down the road.":).

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37 Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel UListen to Sample
38 We Will Rock You - Queen UListen to Sample
39 Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash UListen to Sample
40 Pucker Up Buttercup - Jr. Walker and the All Stars UListen to Sample
41 Too Many Drivers - Paul Butterfield's Better Days

It's a big one then, I'm sure :P - Ananya

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42 Going Up the Country - Canned Heat UListen to Sample
43 Stick Out Your Can (Here Come the Garbage Man) - The Harlem Hamfats

There's sumpin t'be said for... TRASH-y:).

44 It Must Be Jelly ('cause Jam Don't Shake Like That) - Glenn Miller UListen to Sample
45 You Made Me Feel for You - Shannon McNally

Seriously, you'll dig this (oops;).

Haha I know what you mean ;) and you're right (as always). I DO, er, dig it :). - Britgirl

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46 Turn Your Love Around - George Benson UListen to Sample
47 Dark Star - Grateful Dead UListen to Sample
48 She's a Beauty - The Tubes UListen to Sample
49 Der Fuhrer's Face - Spike Jones UListen to Sample
50 Serves You Right to Suffer - The J. Geils Band

Is it any wonder you ended up in this deplorable bum-dung predicament? "Your doctor put you on milk, cream and alcohol."...Sue his butt, see how he likes it messed with! - Britgirl

"T'be fair t'ol' Doc Bucksaw, the hooch was supposed t'be fer the bulldog, as mah howlin' was distoibin' his beauty sleep. Couldn't stand for that ol' boy havin' such a good time by his lonesome." - Genuwine anonymous affidavit.

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