Top Ten Songs in a Proctologist's Playlist

I really had to dig (ahem) deep to find songs to fit this list nicely. If you would like a hand in this list, feel free to add more - there's plenty of room.

The Top Ten

1 Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

Fat bottomed girls make the rocking' world go round.

Hugh Jass 'n' Jack Ass wanted me to thank you for cramming so much humour into the back doors of this list. They would have thanked you personally but they have to be up at the crack of Dawn (or Dawn's crack to be more poetic ;). - Britgirl

Always a preasure an' a plivilege, ma'am. Cause in the end (oops), I cram what I am (Ah just don't give a damn;).

2 Hurt - Johnny Cash

Lol. Very funny list, and as you mentioned, I can imagine this one took some painful research. I will vote for Cash today, and try to dream up some other songs that might fit in. - Ned964

Haha thank you. My brain works quite strangely sometimes; I'm spontaneous and end up doing strange things (like making weird lists like this). Not everyone appreciates my humour. - Britgirl

Their loss. - Ned964

3 It Hurts Me Too - Elmore James
4 Losing Hand - The Paul Butterfield Blues Band

Double glove, baby... Double glove.

Clever girl - Ned964

5 My Humps - The Black Eyed Peas
6 Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club

Dunno. How much do it pay? :).

7 Down in a Hole - Alice in Chains
8 Pain In the Ass - Nina Kraviz & Alex Kid

...Which you definitely are not. You deposit the funniest of comments into the toilet bowl of life and manage to get away with it (by the seat of your pants) Have yourself a crack-in' day ;). - Britgirl

9 Cheek to Cheek - Fred Astaire
10 Let Me In - R.E.M.

The Contenders

11 Keep on Smilin' - Wet Willie

Through embarrassment and gritted teeth :). - Britgirl

Hmm... Odd place to have teeth:).

Odd place to have teeth:).

12 All of Me - Ruth Etting

Lol What a funny list! - Ananya

13 Baby Come Back - Player

Gorgeous song. How did this one find its way here? - Britgirl

14 Hemorrhoids - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners
15 Bend Me, Shape Me - The American Breed

Go ahead. Say it. I dare ya:).

"...Bend me, shape me, any way you want me..." :). - Britgirl

16 Back in the Saddle Again - Gene Autry

Yup. Just can't get enough of the feel of hot, worn out leather :). - Britgirl

"Lucky whore's shoe"...haha...I have tears in my eyes.. Ahh... *manic laughter can be heard off-set* ;D - Britgirl

Nope. Not t'day, Doc. Cain't seem t'find mah lucky whore's shoe;).

17 Backfield in Motion - Mel and Tim
18 Turn Around, Look at Me - The Vogues

GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST! It's like a two-headed coin!

19 Havin' a Real Bad Day - Taj Mahal

"DEEP in the pocket of a real old goat.. er, coat."

"Deep in the... pocket... of a real old goat... er, coat."

"Good mornin' Miss Brown, mama how do you do? " Okay, perhaps not the best choice of colors; but hey, I didn't write it:).

20 Let Me In - The Sensations

Just. Too. Good.

21 Oom Pah Pah - Oliver!
22 Havana Moon - Geoff & Maria Muldaur

I get it! Well, not actually "get it"...I mean I do but I don't. Not for a while at least :). - Britgirl

"Havin' a moon." Git it? :).

"Havin' a moon." Git it? :).

23 Let Me Put My Love Into You - AC/DC
24 Back Door Man - Howlin' Wolf

Extremely pretentious term for the lesser Colorectal Surgeon. - Britgirl

25 Walkin' Thru the Park - Muddy Waters

What're all these damned birds doing' in here? You a magician?

26 Up & Down the Avenue - Charlie Musselwhite

Love this song but now I just can't get a certain image out of my head. Haha. - Britgirl

"Slippin' 'n' slidin'..."

27 Pucker Up Buttercup - Jr. Walker & The All Stars

Uh, no, no... I took a wrong turn... Thought this was a cigar lounge... Ya know, I feel much, much better... I... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, BUTT MAN!

28 Searchin' - The Coasters

They're deep in the pocket of a real old, coat and I remember I lost my hand last time trying to grab hold of them :). - Britgirl

Help me find my keys and we'll drive outta here;).

29 Lookin' Out My Back Door - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Would a smile from across the miles help? :). - Britgirl

I see the clock on the wall. It say last call... for alcohol. (Gonna take more'n a beer t'wipe this tear:(.

30 Meet Me in the Bottom - Howlin' Wolf

"Bring me my runnin' shoes" (an' a good flashlight:).

31 The Sheik Yerbouti Tango - Frank Zappa
32 Rocket Man - Elton John

Nope. Won't say it. Would be insensitive. Unseemly. Tawdry... Aw, hell... BLAST OFF!

33 (Here Comes) Peter Cottontail - Gene Autry

Nothing further, Your Honor.

34 Rescue Me - Fontella Bass
35 You Can't Hurry Love - The Supremes

You kin if "the old man is down the road.":).

36 Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel
37 We Will Rock You - Queen
38 Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
39 Take This Job and Shove It - Johnny Paycheck

A lot of these items are genius! Really funny :). - Britgirl

40 Pucker Up Buttercup - Jr. Walker and the All Stars
41 Too Many Drivers - Paul Butterfield's Better Days

It's a big one then, I'm sure :P - Ananya

42 Going Up the Country - Canned Heat
43 Stick Out Your Can (Here Come the Garbage Man) - The Harlem Hamfats

There's sumpin t'be said for... TRASH-y:).

44 It Must Be Jelly ('cause Jam Don't Shake Like That) - Glenn Miller
45 You Made Me Feel for You - Shannon McNally

Seriously, you'll dig this (oops;).

Haha I know what you mean ;) and you're right (as always). I DO, er, dig it :). - Britgirl

46 Turn Your Love Around - George Benson
47 Dark Star - Grateful Dead
48 She's a Beauty - The Tubes
49 Der Fuhrer's Face - Spike Jones
50 Serves You Right to Suffer - The J. Geils Band

Is it any wonder you ended up in this deplorable bum-dung predicament? "Your doctor put you on milk, cream and alcohol."...Sue his butt, see how he likes it messed with! - Britgirl

"T'be fair t'ol' Doc Bucksaw, the hooch was supposed t'be fer the bulldog, as mah howlin' was distoibin' his beauty sleep. Couldn't stand for that ol' boy havin' such a good time by his lonesome." - Genuwine anonymous affidavit.

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