"T'British" vs. "T'Irish" (A Blog Post For Gluga)

PositronWildhawk
This absurd post is my submission towards gcb's blog trial and to allow Puga to grasp a painful truth: my country >> his.

Two political dominions both similar in history, politics and population of morons, contrast distinctly by fashion of a fatuous and moronic chat via computational procrastination. In this bi-national clash, our Irishman stands upon frail ground as his prodigal London rival says ironclad truth, dissolving any civil similarity coupling this nationalist duo. Our smart British dork's apodictic philosophy is shown in this post to confirm a point which is not only valid, but right. So if you should wish to stand up to his bias-lacking and Utopian mind, your point is automatically ridiculous.

Starting with national arts, Britain trumps Potahto-World in making an artifact which will spark thrills, humour and philosophical thoughts. Not to broach: many things which humanity absorbs for individual mirth and joy is a major part of British upshot. Many historical stars including Nick Frost, Brian May, Rowan Atkinson, Sir Humphry Davy, Fatboy Slim and Virginia Woolf would obtain taunts if any had built-in vocals with sounds of Yoda on marijuana, or if any put "T'p o' t' mornin' t' ya" or "Chuck t' potahtos aht t' British moorons slurpin' Pimm's in t' Nawth" into a typical paragon. If that was so of all Brits, a typical world-known story such as A Christmas Carol and Rhapsody would show scars of involuntary humour "Mama, jus' kill t' man" is as involuntarily hilarious as "You, boy, till mah wha' day ih 'tis!", and any typical, quotidian word is thus comical if it is Irish. No curiosity that U2 had to put an album on iOS8 for it to stand out, changing our conduct from mocking to fury.
As soon as "t'Irish" publish original comic writing to try to distract "t'British" from that highly ludicrous diction, it turns out that Irish humour is primarily Mrs. Brown's Boys. Robin Williams as an old bag wasn't amply stupid, so this would only obtain popularity by putting that into Irish modification, by which I signify that drunk vulgarity thrown in at random would submit a summary of MBB, strictly wholly in all words that any Irishman would commonly shout. Without doubt, an Irishman counts on funny talking and profanity, obviously with Smithwick's as an on-hand catalyst, to stand out in a world of sound and smart productions it is miraculous that it works! Brits can do this without similar vapid support, or >1% blood alcohol, and go on to drown out "t'Irish".

To focus upon our history for a paragraph, Britain and Shamrock-Land start off similarly. In fact, Potahto-World was at first in union with Britain, and soon, a royal British domain would bash multitudinous frog-munching Fran├žais, vanquish un-British oiks in crazy land 10,000km away, and go down in world history. Who could possibly turn down such an opportunity? Oh, right. T'Irish.
Alright, t'Irish, stay boring. Thankfully, t'Nawth is still part of a cool country. Following that Anglo-Irish Signing of 1921, Britain was known as a world fashion hub, and introduction of a global matrix which is allowing you to obtain this blog, along with Basil Fawlty, digital programming, lava lamps, atomic clocks and DNA profiling, was a crop-up following t'Irish split. It's fair to say that Britain's impact was fascinating and inspiring, particularly by comparison. What did St.-Patrick-Mania display following 1921, apart from pulsars, which a British astronomy group took JBB to find? Hmm...
And as Britain was rich, highly scholarly and culturally manifold, it was bound to host a broad domain of shindigs, from world music fairs to Olympics, from group cosmology consultations to world political discussions t'Irish host ridiculous kick-dancing socials, rip off Munich's infamous annual drinking crawls, only hourly, up to a point in which t'Irish young suck various alcohols from t'boob. What will distinguish any Irishman A from Irishman B is simply if A adopts potahtos and B adopts Smithwick's t'Irish all own carbon copy sloppy Yoda vocals, lack of grasp with British lingo, and tiny cocks. If you show any Irishman, you find all distinct traits, and ditto for any Irishman. It shows how straightforward it is to tag an individual.

So what? How about living in Britain or St.-Patrick-Mania? Writing from London and facing south, I sniff a distant, distinct odour of smoky pubs approaching from my right. T'Irish flaunt a pub on all blocks, with a fascia displaying anything similar to "T' Waxy Public Cock" to coax any Irishman in, prior to doubling his blood alcohol orally. This is occurring upon a daily basis, and its upshot is dominant on Irish way of conduct. Any Irishman who admits that autonomous nations stand high will fall into fury fickin' immigrants takin' up half of Potahto-World's jobs and girls, and so, drunk Irish racists shall bombard fickin' immigrants with potahtos and full tankards until t'Irish own t'world! Or...just t'south.
Irish alcohol consumption has its toll on what is said to occur. Conspiracy Thoughts list sightings of a tiny, hairy, cowardly dwarf or fifty, with moss-colour suits and shamrock hats, and a vow to show you to a pot of gold by a rainbow. Obviously maniacal ranting myths, but not so obvious with all that goofy fluid on t'brain. Many civilians claim a right to a pot of gold, in lawful writing in association with a "fairly tipsy" solicitor, and still fail to pinpoint said gold at any rainbow. This atrocity shall not stand, and so victims of this scandal shall go forth and rob a rich man of any gold on his body no salary is out of harm's way. Lawful infraction statistics in this land consist primarily of tipsy gold pot riots, and no national individual can avoid this chaotic twist on human civilisation. This land truly is a wild barbarian's land.
Britain, not such a victim to smoky pub sins (ignoring Scotland for now), is not so distinct by its insanity. It is abundant in various tasty human backgrounds, opportunity for high-skill labour, and not at all hard to avoid gold burglary. Omitting UKIP, Britain is not racist, and so trumps t'Irish in this part too. It's also put this way of living onto many a past colony, so India and Canada can thank us for making it cordial. What did t'Irish do?...

So it would sound that Britain is boss, for having major schooling and arts, but also an ability to stand out without sounding similar to a high Star Wars doll, looking similar to a gay hippy Hobbit, or having to admit loss of cash to a rainbow, only worst for Potahto-World as of a financial crisis similar to Spain's and Cyprus's. What can I say, apart from, ha ha, Puga.

Comments

For the record, my favourite trance singer is Irish, but meh. - PositronWildhawk

Jaysus, ye've done it this time, ya nacker. This'll be gettin' a response, no dou' bou' it. Now give back the north. - Puga

I'll only grant you t'Nawth if you try without e's. - PositronWildhawk

I'll do it when ye stop making' yer feckin' empires. - Puga

Get with the fecking times. - PositronWildhawk

Ye wouldn't be able to 'av spuds fer dinner without us, now feck off. - Puga

Would you like a potahto? - PositronWildhawk

Pour some gravy onnit. - Puga

Luvvely. - PositronWildhawk

Into the Yarkshire, tew. - Puga

America<every country while Obama is in office. - Therandom

You know what I like about Ireland? No snakes - bobbythebrony

WOW! That was worth 20 mins of my day! Brilliantly said, my old pal! Anyone without humour can (as t' Irish say) f*ck off! Up t' Brits and stick it up t' Irish! (I'm Joking naturally P
A blog to outdo all blogs: witty, funny, smart and truly sarcastic. Just how I thought it would turn out.
10/10! - Britgirl

Exactly. - RiverClanRocks

Wow - Puga

Sweet post - visitor

P