Top Ten Ways to Know You're DrunkFinch If you've been to college, a party, or generally been old enough to legally drink, you've probably been drunk at least once. You start off by having a beer or wine, maybe a shot of something stronger, then before you know it you are chugging whiskey straight from the bottle and doing body shots off your best friend's partner.
You wake up in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange studio apartment, wearing a lampshade and only one sock, and you have NO IDEA where you are or how you got there. You slip out of bed, careful not to wake up the thing sleeping beside you - you're not brave enough yet to pull back the covers and see what's laying, snoring beneath. All you know is that you got drunk last night and you regret it this morning.
Below are the signs and signals to look for that will tell you if you are too drunk to function safely.
The Top Ten
Everything is spinning and somehow gravity seems to be pulling you in all the wrong directions. Grab a hold of something solid and hang on for the ride.
Seriously can't believe that people PAY to feel like this! Crazy. - Britgirl
Well I would but I'm not old enough to drink yet - Adventurur2
Or maybe your health has really turned for the worse. - Kiteretsunu1 Comment
Kids that aren't toilet trained pee wherever they want. But they’re not drunk.
It's safe to go between those two cars right? Sure there are people in them at the moment but the light is still red and I've gotta go... Not worth it.
So everywhere is a fire hidrent to you - Adventurur2
Whatever you do, no matter your budget, DON'T drink it. You'll regret it.
Le cringe - Adventurur2
Men are more likely to be irresponsible adults while they're drinking alcohol. Also they have drinking problems.
Chances are, if you didn't hit on them when you first showed up at the party, you shouldn't try it now that they appear attractive. You're better off going home alone.
This explains why drunk people hit on everyone. Nice description by the way.
Sooo even someone ugly like I don't know kim kardasian is hot to you - Adventurur2
Go ahead and call/text your ex. Leave that rambling voicemail about how you're ready to try again and that they should call you for a little action tonight. We'll see how you feel in the morning. I'd avoid it.
Ha! Like that will happen!
Everything's shape-shifting. Does the second law of thermodynamics apply here? - PositronWildhawk
While entropy certainly comes into play here, one could also argue that the universe begins to make MORE sense after the consumption of alcohol. Whether or not the reality of a situation changes based on personal perception is a different story though.
Dude, we can totally make it from the roof into the pool. So what if it's over the fence in the neighbor's backyard. 3 feet is plenty deep for a swan dive...
You may get into a seemingly interesting conversation about the advantages of being a level 19 Paladin but when that guy calls you the next day to join his guild you'll regret giving out your real phone number.
I don't need to be drunk to find my fellow human beings interesting, just inquisitive. I have never ever been drunk. - Britgirl
Sure you took off that jacket when you got there but what happened to your shirt and your left shoe. Didn't you have a belt? And I know you weren't wearing gloves so where did those come from... ?
You are 6 foot man with a 3-piece like a tuxedo. An hour later you're wearing the waiteress's bra. Lol - 51im_Ro55_2002
Trust the rest of the bar/party patrons, you wouldn't win. In fact, I'm pretty sure you have to sing in words, on key, and coherently to even be competitive. Wht you're doing now is none of those things.
LA LA LA I'M SO DRUNK AND AWESOME AND I'M THE best SINGER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE LA LA LA
You keep putting the liquid in but it just doesn't want to stay down. doesn't it know you're on a budget and can't afford to waste? Same with the McDonald's you keep trying to eat. You don't have time for these games. Just stay in there...
This why I don't drink alcohol.
That’s because alcohol messes up the the way you think
Asians during family gatherings in a nutshell (especially the men)
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5 years, 64 days old
2. You're sure you can bend the laws of physics
3. Everywhere looks like a viable place to pee