Top Ten Ways to Know You're DrunkIf you've been to college, a party, or generally been old enough to legally drink, you've probably been drunk at least once. You start off by having a beer or wine, maybe a shot of something stronger, then before you know it you are chugging whiskey straight from the bottle and doing body shots off your best friend's partner.
You wake up in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange studio apartment, wearing a lampshade and only one sock, and you have NO IDEA where you are or how you got there. You slip out of bed, careful not to wake up the thing sleeping beside you - you're not brave enough yet to pull back the covers and see what's laying, snoring beneath. All you know is that you got drunk last night and you regret it this morning.
Below are the signs and signals to look for that will tell you if you are too drunk to function safely.
Everything is spinning and somehow gravity seems to be pulling you in all the wrong directions. Grab a hold of something solid and hang on for the ride.
Seriously can't believe that people PAY to feel like this! Crazy.
Or maybe your health has really turned for the worse.
It's safe to go between those two cars right? Sure there are people in them at the moment but the light is still red and I've gotta go... Not worth it.
Kids that aren't toilet trained pee wherever they want. But they're not drunk.
Yes this list is brilliant.
Whatever you do, no matter your budget, DON'T drink it. You'll regret it.
Chances are, if you didn't hit on them when you first showed up at the party, you shouldn't try it now that they appear attractive. You're better off going home alone.
Men are more likely to be irresponsible adults while they're drinking alcohol. Also they have drinking problems.
This explains why drunk people hit on everyone. Nice description by the way.
Go ahead and call/text your ex. Leave that rambling voicemail about how you're ready to try again and that they should call you for a little action tonight. We'll see how you feel in the morning. I'd avoid it.
Everything's shape-shifting. Does the second law of thermodynamics apply here?
Ha! Like that will happen!
Dude, we can totally make it from the roof into the pool. So what if it's over the fence in the neighbor's backyard. 3 feet is plenty deep for a swan dive...
You may get into a seemingly interesting conversation about the advantages of being a level 19 Paladin but when that guy calls you the next day to join his guild you'll regret giving out your real phone number.
I don't need to be drunk to find my fellow human beings interesting, just inquisitive. I have never ever been drunk.
Sure you took off that jacket when you got there but what happened to your shirt and your left shoe. Didn't you have a belt? And I know you weren't wearing gloves so where did those come from... ?
Trust the rest of the bar/party patrons, you wouldn't win. In fact, I'm pretty sure you have to sing in words, on key, and coherently to even be competitive. Wht you're doing now is none of those things.
You keep putting the liquid in but it just doesn't want to stay down. doesn't it know you're on a budget and can't afford to waste? Same with the McDonald's you keep trying to eat. You don't have time for these games. Just stay in there...
This why I don't drink alcohol.
Asians during family gatherings in a nutshell (especially the men)