WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Jason DeRülo

WonkeyDude98
Okay....this is going to be redundant. Very redundant. But I feel the only way to truly let it out is to let it spill in a post. Here we GO!

So, Jason Joel Desrouleaux, better known as Jason DeRulo, is basically a poor man's Chris Brown and was my favorite beating doll until he got boring. However, was a couple dozen comments enough? No. Let's round it up.

Jason DeRulo has numerous issues as an artist. Such as his singing voice that makes Justin Bieber's seem like Michael Jackson's. Such as his inability to grasp on to his subject without looking like a kid in his dad's clothes (like Justin Bieber or Ed Sheeran). Such as his complete lack of charisma. Such as the fact that he has to say his name in the beginning of every song to remember who's singing it.

If there is one recurring artist in all of my Worst lists, it's Jason DeRulo (or maybe Chris Brown...:P). He's been on every Worst list of mine since his debut in 2009 except 2012-13, and that's because he didn't release anything. Whatcha Say was on my 2009 list, In My Head was on my 2010 list, I just put Don't Wanna Go Home on my 2011 list, all of his three major hits were on my 2014 list, and Want To Want Me was on my 2015 list, albeit low. That's...pretty bad. Even though he was never #1, not only do I disregard DeRulo as an artist more than most, I also think that having many moderately bad hits (except Wiggle which made #2 on my 2014 list) is worse than one major bad hit (exception made for The Weeknd).

An example of him being atrocious is Trumpets. It's not his worst but dang if it won't try. Not only is the production sloppy and out-of-place, the lyrics are perverted and awkward and DeRulo just yelps like a dying goat. Another good example is Undefeated where he acts like he had something earned when he didn't even earn it, he just plopped on top of the world by adolescents who don't understand basic music talent (not trying to be stereotypical), and no one told him what he could be because they didn't want to tell him what he is now.

Jason DeRulo is also an anonymous pop star, possibly the only one. Yes, that is a thing. It's when an artist has like seventeen top ten hits, but people still don't know them from sh**. (Get the reference?) And rightfully so, what is distinct about him? He is completely generic as a singer on top of his flaws, with the only thing making him remotely unique is him name-dropping himself in the beginning of every song (well, in Talk Dirty a woman name-drops, and in Painkiller, Meghan Trainor name-drops).

Jason DeRulo gets a -5 out of 5 from me, and deserves all the bashing I gave him.

Comments

Jason DeRulo is a talentless hack; an emotionally retarded buffoon entirely devoid of wit, charisma, or anything resembling a functioning brain cell; an artist of stunning incompetence whose noxious, simpering vocals depend entirely on lazy Auto-Tune that somehow still emphasizes his pathetic inability to hold a single note on-key in his reedy, punchable throat. He's a malformed rat-being clumsily unable to even walk upright who's too stupid to even pity, and I wish he'd come to terms with the fact that he's a sentient bucket of pig sewage so he'll stop polluting the world with the audio dumpster juice he calls music. - KJS2300

Todd is actually the guy who motivated me to hate DeRülo and got me to spell his name like that (which I prefer to use).

For this comment alone you have a follower. - WonkeyDude98

I think I got that reference... Bart Baker...Right? - Hater

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