Top Ten Quotes from Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls

The Top Ten
1 Reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram

Who knows? Maybe reality really is an illusion and the universe has always just been a hologram. I love this guy, honestly even though he's the main villain I love his quotes!

This one really speaks to me. This is how I see the world I want to live in.

It makes us all question the government. That's a good thing!

2 Pain is hilarious!

I watched a video of a kid getting flipped over and falling on her face while her mother was trying to help her hit a piñata. I started laughing and then I thought of this quote.

Sock Opera is my favorite episode. It is one of the creepiest episodes as well, partly because of the journal entry on Bipper. Apparently, Dipper's body was dead while being possessed...

I feel just like Bill in this. Pain to me is just a small tickle in my body without the feeling of intense burning.

3 It's funny how dumb you are

Always wanted to say it to someone, never could.

I need to say this to one of my friends.

That one moment when I'm in a group project and everyone expects me to do all the work.

4 This party never stops! Time is dead, and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside down and I reign supreme. Welcome one and all; to Weirdmaggedon!

Bill Cipher might not be dead. Stan recovered his memory, so maybe he recovered Bill.

I've got the entire intro to this episode memorized. I'm such an obsessive geek.

I love Bill Cipher and I support his way of living.

5 Hey, want to here my impression of you in about 3 seconds? AHHHHH!

When I watched that episode, I was like, wow Bill, you're very good at impressions.

Hey, want to hear my impression of you in about three seconds? AHH! It is hilarious!

Accurate. Bill could be a great impressionist.

6 Here, have a head that's always screaming

Thanks! It's what I've always wanted!

7 I'm going to drink it like a human

I keep doing this with my sparkling ice.


This is my favorite quote. I say it all the time. Now all I need to know is what A.X.O.L.O.T.L. means... P.S. Anyone want to summon him?

Thanks, Bill! Now I know what incantation to use next time someone tries to kill me.

YAY!!! We can all cheat death together now!!! YAY!!! Thanks, there buddy, Bill!

9 You are smart. Especially the fat one
10 Ahhhh, my eye! Do you have any idea how long that takes to grow back??!!
The Contenders
11 Deer teeth! For you, kid!

I thought that part was funny for some reason. I have a weird sense of humor.

12 How 'bout I reverse the functions of every hole on your face

That isn't the right quote. It was How about I shuffle the functions of every hole in your face?

It's just funny because it sounds like what I would say if I were evil.

13 I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them. You monster

'I'll hold my horses... I'll hold them. -Mutter- You monster.'
Also, remember: the universe is a hologram, reality is an illusion, buy gold! BYEE!

14 I'm always watching you
15 Once I get my hands on you, I'll disassemble your molecules!

I'm going to have to ask my science teacher about this...

Sounds scary but smart at the same time.

That would be a horrible way to die.

16 Maybe not right now, but things change stanford pines, things.... Change...
17 I have some children I gotta make into corpses!

Ah, yes. My favorite activity. Turning kids into corpses.

This is way better than him just saying he wanted to kill them.

But seriously, imagine just hearing Alex yell this into a microphone as you're going along with your day.

How is this so low...

18 Remember the universe is a hologram, reality is a illusion, buy gold BYEE

For the ones that didn't get the joke, he is saying that reality has no point at all and then tells you to buy a purely materialistic thing that only has value in reality.

I need to say this. I should have a shirt with this on.

19 We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, oh, I know we'll meet again some sunny day!

I have a theory that this is a hint about the cipher hunt... the fans met him again after about 3 months, and it was "some sunny day".

You're in the penthouse suite, kid!

One of my favorite Bill moments.

20 Buy gold, buy

I thought he was saying bye to gold.

21 Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me.

I love this quote. It's what I say to my brother when I get home!

Something I say to many people after a long trip.

This is my favorite Bill Cipher quote.

22 Gravity Falls, It is Good to Be Back

One of my favorite quotes of his!

Shows relevance to the show and the fact he has been gone for a long time.

23 For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!

I like this one. It is awesome. Once I can escape Gravity Falls, this is exactly what I will say, but that stupid force field is keeping me in.

24 I think I know a guy!!
25 Oh no it's Bill. Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking? Hey Gideon, why aren't you dancing? Chop chop, huh?

Oh no, Gideon's in trouble. Gideon's mind: I can buy and sell you, old man... oh wait, you're not my dad.

Haha, I was like Stanley, Stanford, you ruined it by bickering!

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