Best Fawlty Towers Quotes

The Top Ten

1 Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. - Basil

2 Yes you did, you invaded Poland! - Basil

3 I know nothing. - Manuel

4 This, Basil's wife. This, Basil. This, smack on the head. - Basil

5 Start, you vicious bastard! Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three! 1, 2, 3, right, that does it. I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing! - Basil

How is this one not in the top 3? It's a classic!

6 You've heard of the genius of the lamp Mrs. Fawlty, well that is me. - Mr. O'Reilly

7 Do you really imagine, even in your wildest dreams, that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aging, Brilliantined, stick-insect like you? - Sybil

8 You snobs! You stupid... stuck-up... toffee-nosed... half-witted... upper-class piles of... pus! - Basil

9 Duck's off, sorry. - Basil

10 He's from Barcelona. - Basil

The Contenders

11 My little piranha fish. - Basil

12 Would you like some drinks before the war? - Basil

13 Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically - Basil

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