Top Ten Games That Punish Pirates

If you managed to slog your way through those hordes of baddies and actually make it to the final boss battle, Earthbound would destroy you. It doesn't care. That's a pirated copy. F you, you're not completing this game. Restart, lose all your progress. That's what you get, you filthy pirate.

Hey, it's not like they didn't warn you about playing pirated games. You didn't listen, did you?

People who pirated this game got a shocking surprise when they found out that their gun fires chickens instead of bullets and that their grenades also were chickens.

In case you're wondering, the chickens do no damage whatsoever, meaning you can't kill anybody, and the game cannot be won. You can't die, either, because the bad guys use chickens too.

In the game, one of the missions is to collect eggs and gems. Pirated versions would have the eggs and gems randomly disappear from the world. Of course, the pirates managed to patch this, but this led to more trolling by the developers.

Now pirates found themselves with the inability to pause, the menu screen randomly changing languages, and portals being unusable.

Once they got past all that, the developers had one last giant middle finger left. When the pirate attacked the final boss, their game corrupted and all data was lost. How do you like that, you filthy pirate?

It took over two months for the pirates to beat all these problems. Much longer than normal "F over the consumers" DRM does.

What the pirates initially thought was a challenge in the game was actually not in the legitimate version. Pirates got "treated" to an extremely fast and immortal scorpion that would kill them if they tried to run away and would kill them if they tried to fight it. The only solution would be to smash that piggy bank open.

The pirates of this game received a taste of their own medicine. The game's developer, Greenheart Games, decided to leak a hacked version of the game mere minutes after releasing the legitimate version, just to see what would happen. Sure enough, within one day, a whopping 93.6 percent of players were playing the illegal version of the game. That's a lot.

However, I've got to say the pirated version of this game is more realistic, as that's the sheer number of pirates that exist in the gaming world. Popular games get pirated more. Simple as.

Getting GTA4 off the Pirate Bay may sound like something that would be cool to do, but those who choose to do so get a giant middle finger of beer constantly stuffed down the camera. The camera constantly wobbles around, making everything so much harder to do.

Batman: Arkham Asylum featured similarly hilarious DRM. Again, you could play a cracked copy of the game just fine, but Warner Bros. nerfed Batman's crucial gliding ability. Instead of soaring majestically, pirates watched Batman flap his arms and plummet unceremoniously to the ground.

You can't get past the initial minutes of the game without being able to glide, so yes, the Joker gets away in pirated copies.

Nope. Those blurry pixels are intentional, and they appear only if you're using an illegitimate version of The Sims 4. Yes, EA is messing with the pirates who illegally downloaded their game.

So, if you want to raise a family in a world of pixels without being able to see what's going on, by all means, pirate the game. If you want the actual game, fork over a few banknotes and get a legit copy.

Just as you try to make a huge jump, Faith slows down to a crawl and walks off the edge. This means the game is pretty much impossible if you pirate it.