Top Ten Ludicrous Theories as to Why Awful Music is Popular

The most sane of us are displeased by the music on the modern mainstream scene, and we're always looking for an explanation for its unnecessary attention. Here are some ridiculous conspiracy theories that may answer your questions. Or...maybe not...

The Top Ten Ludicrous Theories as to Why Awful Music is Popular

1 The seemingly pointless monologues in idiotic mainstream songs actually have a meaning that only the radio stations can detect, and so they prioritize these without decoding it for the most of us.

For all we know, Anaconda could be making them question humanity. But still, it does that enough. - PositronWildhawk

2 Mental institutions can only afford mainstream radio, so the radio found the only possible way to entertain inmates.
3 The government is suspicious of good music, and so try to censor it without looking suspicious themselves.
4 The awful music of today is deterring an extraterrestrial empire, and so playing this music everywhere will postpone, if not prevent, an alien invasion.

Ha-ha, let's start playing some rock/metal! I want to hear alien music... that will really be something.

Yes indeed! The safest and quickest way to stop an alien invasion. Everyone should blast out mindless pop all at the same time for the good of planet Earth. We must not delay! Do it now! Justin Bieber, it's now time to earn your money...! - Britgirl

This music is already very alien to me. But actual alien music might be interesting. - PositronWildhawk

It's either this stuff or we'd have to break out Slim Whitman's yodeling - see Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! - Billyv

5 Mainstream pop stars have taken hostages, and are claiming a ransom by being paid millions.

I think this may explain some of the more explicit music videos. - PositronWildhawk

6 Kanye West's ideas for a presidential campaign are actually good, and the media want to give him a better reputation before the next election.
7 Meaningful songs are too complicated for most non-intelligent people, and could potentially cause further damage to their brains.

The intellectually inferior beings don't understand the prominence of alternative music. - Merilille

8 There is a large message in the bigger picture a message which each consecutive seemingly awful song is a part of. Over decades of bad music, this message is slowly being pieced together from meaningless #1 hits.
9 Government research is making bad excuses for musicians with cases of abnormal psychology famous so they can give psychological analysis more easily.

Is there any sign of an unknown mental condition evident from the Anaconda music video? That's a rhetorical question. - PositronWildhawk

10 95% of people born after 1995 were born with a mind-controlling chip produced by the Illuminati, causing them to like the crappy music of artists that are controlled by the Illuminati, to ensure worldwide domination

I'm a 5 percenter. - FrozenHatingPokefan

The Contenders

11 Many people, particularly teenagers and young adults, will only listen to what is "new", no matter if its good or bad, so the emphasis is crank out "product" regardless of quality.

To be fair this one almost certainly has some truth to it. Some artists like Lil Wayne get a ridiculous number of songs charting by just emphasising quantity over quality yet many people still buy his music.

In the 1960s when The Beatles started there was loads of fans but other people would've thought they where totally rubbish, the internet wasn't around to slag off fans of anyone famous or the famous people.

Drivel-like pop has always existed, even when the Beatles and Hendrix were on the charts, there was plenty of crapola like the Ohio Express singing "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy". However, the very next song could have been by Marvin Gaye, so it balanced out. The difference is that now, John, George, Jimi, and Marvin are all dead, and there is simply nobody to take their place.

So in that case, the media could potentially have had a mix of good and bad. But no... - PositronWildhawk

12 The YouTube codes for popular and awful music codes happen to be the equal to common computer codes used by the internet worldwide, and so running this code inadvertedly loads the video.
13 JaysTop10List has a global influence

Really? Lolololo. That is true - JaysTop10List

14 The music industry is secretly run by Satan so he can produce more songs about drugs, partying, sex, smoking, and drinking
15 Pop musicians are the only musicians not being questioned by the FBI

Given what good metal bands make songs about, compared to the lyrics of typical pop music, maybe this theory had some truth to it... - romanempire249

16 The radio stations of the world are controlled by a single man who lives in the Sahara Desert and hallucinates awful music but then that music becomes a reality through the power of the imagination of this one guy hallucinating the awful music
17 Underground music was so loud it destroyed the outdated radio station speakers
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