TheTopTens TV - Episode 4a - Lists.com

Puga The episode begins in a dark alleyway where heavy footsteps can be heard. Those footsteps are revealed to be the footsteps of admin. Admin walks through the alleyway to get to an unviewable object. Suddenly, he hears a whisper come from the walls.
???: psst. You.
Admin: me?
???: yes, you.
Admin: what?
???: I heard you own some town.
Admin: TheTopTens. What about it?
???: I has a lot of money. And I would like to buy your town.
Admin: WHAT?!?! My town is NOT for sale.
???:well then I suppose I'll make my own town, and make it better than yours....
Admin: no! What the hell?
???: too late. My name is Adminn and I have the prize now.
Admin: why? What do you want?
Adminn: your stupid town is filled with stupid people.
Admin: then why did you try to buy it?
Adminn: intimidation. Say goodbye to your success.

(Britgirl walks out of her house to check her mailbox when she finds a "For Sale" sign outside her fence)
Britgirl: what's this sign doing?
Keyson: there's a sign?

???: yes.
Keyson: who the heck are you two?
???:I'm Gritbirl and he's Sonkey.
Britgirl: who are you working for?
Gritbirl: Adminn, haven't you heard?
Keyson: you're new users?
Sonkey: of the new website. Lists.com!
(Britgirl spits out milk)
Sonkey: bow down to your successors.
Keyson and Britgirl: Never!
???: it's too late.
Keyson: who are YOU?
???:WositronPildhawk.
Keyson: could this get anymore effortless?
WositronPildhawk: no effort was required. We put a "For Sale" sign in front of each house in this this town. They're impossible to pull out, and the replacement users will move into their houses in three, two, one!
B+K: never!
???: don't try.
Britgirl: Admin?
Admin: we have to surrender. There's nothing we can do.
Adminn: that's the spirit.
(All TopTenners are shoved into Admin's van)

MatrixGuy: so this is how it ends.
Positron: I mean, a "For Sale" sign? What is that, their logo?
Letdot52: will you be okay?
Puga: I don't bloomin' know! I can't believe how cheeky they were. They even had the audacity to put a sign in front of my kennel!
Letdot52: cheeky.
Simpsondude: horrible. Why couldn't they have taken him?
(Simpsondude points over to BBYESTDNO who is fapping over Big Brother)
Pos: he loves it that much?
Admin: we're here guys. A prison. Welcome to your new home.
Turkeyasylum: prison? Is that really what we need?
Gemcloben: when I said I wanted a lot of metal to be wherever I go, this is not what I meant.
BBYESTDNO: shut up! Someone's getting evicted!
(BigBrotherSucks pulls out the plug)
BBYESTDNO: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I'll kill you!
Puga: how do you have electricity? We're in the middle of nowhere!
General: so here's the new bunch.
Admin: yup.
General: come on you guys we've got cells to put you in.
(Everyone is put in their cells and given a bowl of snail poop to eat)
General: zero chat tonight.
(General closes door, and as soon as he does, the room erupts with voices)
Puga: I'm used to eating poop, but this is ridiculous.
SevenLizards: eww!
Puga: gee, you're hard to please.
(The room is silenced by the hum of someone stringing a guitar)
BobG: it's Jackie Evancho!
SelfDestruct: thank God I brought cotton buds.
(Fan girls break through some of the cages, only to find that it was a hallucination)
Gemcloben: thanks Bob, cell 1 is free now.
Pos: thank goodness that's over.
Everyone: FREE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey: gee calm down.
(One minute montage of everyone getting taken out of cages)
Keyson: ladies and gentleman, I have a plan.

The next night, the Guards are still stunned at the sudden disappearance of all the prisoners. The doors are still locked however, and the users need to unlock them.
(Everyone is hiding in bins, plant pots etc.)
Keyson: okay guys, are you ready?
Puga: never been more ready in my life.
Mikey: Puga, before you leave, take this Ping Pong racket I found in the bin. It's called "The Paddle".
Angel's Voices: Hallejulah!
Puga: it may come in handy.
Keyson: go!
(A cop is walking through the corridor when he sees Puga playing with the racket)
Officer: WHATS HE DOING OUT OF HIS CELL???? Well, he is kinda cute....
(Puga looks up at the Officer with big, innocent eyes)
Officer: Awww! Let me Instagram this!
(Puga jumps up with The Paddle between his legs and hits the Officer right in the face. The officer falls on the floor with his bloody nose and while he's sitting down, Puga uses the racket to knock the gun off his belt)
Officer: put your paws whereI can see 'em!
Puga: never!
(Puga escapes into the Camera Room where the keys are kept and finds another officer)
Officer: Oi!
(Officer shoots, Puga dodges and rolls between Officer's legs and hits him in the butt with his gun. He uses The Paddle to knock another gun off the belt. He also knocks the keys off the belt and locks the door. He rolls under the table to find a bag in which lots of gear and a walkie talkie are found)
Puga: who knew rolling over would come on so handy?
(Puga switches on walkie talkie)
Puga: hello?
Keyson: Puga!
Puga: hi?
Keyson: here, bulletproof helmet, vest, jacket, shoes, gloves and pants in the bag?
Puga: check.
Keyson: blinds pulled?
Puga: check.
Keyson: The Paddle?
Angel's Voices: Hallejulah!
Puga: check.
Keyson: then you're ready. Just do what we discussed earlier.
Puga: over.
Keyson: let's go guys!
PetSounds: can I take all this garbage off?
Keyson: later. There's all the officers at Puga's office. Andre56, share the guns Disney gave you.
Gemcloben: gee, you're useful for once.
Andre56: shut up, jealous.
Keyson: is everyone armed?
(Everyone nods)
Keyson: remember, don't kill anyone unless you HAVE to. As long as he has The Paddle
Angel's Voices: Hallejulah!
Keyson: do you mind? Just wait until he gives the alarm.
Puga: where is that bloomin' button? Oh, there she is.
(Puga hits button and alarm goes off)
Keyson: go!
General: an alarm! Call the police!
Officer: we are the police!
General: oh dear! Quick, everyone pretend to commit suicide!
Officer: huh?
General: then we'll have an excuse!
Officer: okay. Everyone play dead!
(Everyone drops on floor)
Pos: that was easier than I thought.
(Puga bursts open door)
Puga: I got the key!
Simpsondude: get to the chopper!
(Everyone flies home)
Keyson: next stop, Lists.central!

(The camera cuts to a sewer where the gang plot their next plan)

Keyson: ready?
All: yes!
(The camera cuts to the Lists.com users gathered around a table, chatting about in audible stuff, until the camera zooms in)
Adminn: look at all the votes we're getting!
Sonkey: this website is miles better than that pile of junk!
FinchFinch: Adminn, there's a problem down at the camera.
Adminn: someone's breaking in with a tank! Since when did tanks have Disney logos?
FinchFinch: send half the users down!
Adminn: they'd get run over!
FinchFinch: they'd die for their website.
(American Flag shows up behind FinchFinch's head)
Now send them!
(2 minutes later the tank comes up with corpses stuck to the front)
Adminn: Sonkey! Get the RPG and shoot the side of the tank!
(Sonkey does his boss's command and turns around as soon as he shoots, only for the RPG to reflect off the tank, hit the ceiling, then go down for him)
Sonkey: cool guys don't look at-BOOM!
FinchFinch: fire!
Adminn: Evacuate!
(Both run past the tank, only to get hit on the head by The Paddle. Admin hops out of the tank and presses a "SelfDestruct" button on the desk, and the building falls over, with the tank surviving)

Admin: we got our website back!
Keyson: and all thanks to The Paddle!
Everyone: HALLEJULAH!

Comments

I had the most memorable line in the series yet "Get to the chopper! " - simpsondude (2/20/2015)

Ah man I wanted to be in this episode I was looking forward to dissecting my clone oh well maybe next time. - visitor (2/22/2015)

You got my personality so accurate! - visitor (2/24/2015)

I keep thinking that keyson should have been pissed off by the angels and just hit them with The Paddle. - visitor (2/28/2015)

Oh I get it "selfdestruct" like the user... no... ok. - visitor (3/1/2015)